Blog Talk to Steph

Talk To Steph : Pregnancy CrossRoads


Please don’t disclose my name, after my last relationship with an Igbo guy that didn’t work out, I’d not been into another relationship for over a year. I met this guy he’s a Yoruba guy from Ondo state precisely. We got talking and fell in love with each-other. One faithful day he came visiting on a Sunday after church service at my house where I stay with my parents. He said he wanted us to go to his house, I agreed and we left. On getting to his house I lay on the couch feeling tired, suddenly he came lying on my body, I tried pulling him off but he refused and started caressing my body, breast, kissed me tenderly and passionately ,I told him I was ovulating, and he never bothered about it, thereafter we made love, after making love, my eyes got to a point and I suddenly saw a wedding picture in a frame and quickly requested for cold water, I was like maybe he stays with his brother and probably his brother traveled and on a second thought I thought it wise to check who was in that picture, lo and behold he was the one. I was shocked, and started wondering why he didn’t tell me he was married because he never wore a wedding ring, He pleaded with me that he actually brought me home to see for myself that he is married, that he refused letting me know because he never wanted to loose me. I then asked where his wife was, he said she went to church, saying that he stopped wearing the ring because he already filled for divorce that 3months into their marriage his banker wife has been a nag, tried several times to kill him with a knife, insulted his parents and siblings, harassed him in church publicly, that he’s endured for 4yrs now, medically he’s sound and she’s refused to take in(get pregnant) because of her career and so many things he told me that I cant say for now, I got angry and asked him to take me home, he noticed I’d seen the picture and knew that was the reason why my mood changed. After we made love I never saw my period for the next month, I told him about it first, we went for pregnancy test and he said I should keep it, that if I abort his child he’ll never be happy with me in life. Now am 2 months gone, he’d be seeing my parents in March this year 2013 do the traditional rights and marry me, am a career woman too, an Engineer, as am working also. Just last week she found a text in phone I sent to him as regards my condition (some pregnancy symptoms) I was having. My phone rang I picked and the caller said she was his wife that she heard I was pregnant for her husband, that am a big and shameless fool getting pregnant for a married man, that she’ll show me, and I’ll regret the day I was born, I never said a word to her other than “Thank you”. I called and told him and he said I should just calm down and not worry myself.

I’m so confused please help me, what do I do? Do I still keep to his word or let them be?

Confused Soul


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  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 4:33 am

    My dear, such happens always. Since d guy was not d person dat insulted and yelled @ u, i’ll advice u keep d pregnancy and 4get watever dat’s happening. Even if d guy didn’t marry @ last, just take it as if u just wished 2 have d baby u never can tell d baby dat’ll look after u wen u’re old. Remain blessed, God’ll see u through

  • Reply
    geoffrey gitau
    May 7, 2013 at 4:35 am

    struggle to the ultimate end coz that man is ur drram kam true…. fight 4 ur luv ma frnd

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 4:40 am

    You should have taken some medications after you had sex with him unprotected and for the fact that you saw his wedding picture. Men can say the worst just to get inbtween our legs. However, let your parents know your predicament and also report to the police on the womans threat to your life as the paternity of the baby can be proven later. ( Just to calm the woman down) Above all ask God for wisdom!

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 5:02 am

    Oh my God! No offence , what God has joined together let no man put asunder. You don’t even know if he is telling the truth because some men have sweet mouth , well I will not advice you to go for an abortion because that is murder but I want you to pray to God , try to talk to his relative and sincerely follow your heart .

  • Reply
    Dr. Kezy
    May 7, 2013 at 5:17 am

    I think she should wait for the man to take his step and take actions. She shouldn’t bother herself about the other woman, since the man has gone to see her parents there is no need to worry herself too much.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 5:18 am

    My dear most men are trickstars, I advise you find out more about the guy and his ‘marriage/divorce’ before settling your mind in. For the pregnancy, keep it God will see you through.

  • Reply
    eunice elechi
    May 7, 2013 at 5:26 am

    U know when a man is married it for better for worse I kmow its a very big sin to do abortion but u are pregnant my sister there is no way that man will live his wife for u cos ur preganat for him I don’t know what Þo tell u but ask God in prayers

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 5:29 am

    Sweethrt i will advice u keep d pregnancy, dn’t go in2 any vabal/physical fighting with d woman just ignore ha. 4 d man dn’t push urself 2 him, just wait 4 God’s will ova ur situation. I wn’t blame u 4 sleeping with a married man. D only being u need nw is God 4 safety coz ur safety matters alot now so seek God. All d best as ur cont. ur 9mnths journey.

  • Reply
    okorocha gift
    May 7, 2013 at 5:41 am

    To start wit you are in and there is no two ways about it. And a broken bottle has no mengketeMus. The man of the hus said that u shouldn’t worry re last your Mind a woman is all ways a woman keep ur hand clean God will fight for you thanks.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 6:00 am

    My dear sis… I want to start by asking u a question have u made neccessary enquire to make sure he is telling d truth about his wife.
    Secondly do u love him if yes its a big relieve for me to know.
    Now my dear ur pregnant and he has gone to see ur people abi. Don’t worry just have a positive thinking and all will be well.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 7:03 am

    Think deep into this matter sista mi oooooo

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 7:09 am

    The deed has been done, it Į̸̸̨§ Ŋw left for Ɣ☺ΰ †̥ decide what †̥ do next. Ɣ☺ΰ know him better than anyone advising Ɣ☺ΰ. Thξ bitter truth Į̸̸̨§; it Į̸̸̨§ not a G̲̣̣̣̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ό̲̣̣̣̥d thing †̥ abort, consider thξ risks attached Α̲̅πϑ for future sake. Even if Ɣ☺ΰ don’t have him, Ɣ☺ΰ have a wonderful career, have your child Α̲̅πϑ take care of him. Ɣ☺ΰ will not regret doing so in Jesus name. That Į̸̸̨§ a gift from God. A friend of my had thξ same experience but she Α̲̅πϑ thξ guy just scaled through with two kids Ŋw, living together happily. If he Į̸̸̨§ sincere as he claim, he will go through thξ wedding rites with Ɣ☺ΰ Α̲̅πϑ protect Ɣ☺ΰ Α̲̅πϑ your child. This Į̸̸̨§ a very difficult time for Ɣ☺ΰ I know, but be strong for yourself Α̲̅πϑ thξ child, hope in God for thξ best, He would see Ɣ☺ΰ through. Cast all your burdens on Him, He cares for Ɣ☺ΰ, He would chase all thξ buzzards around Ɣ☺ΰ away, Α̲̅πϑ he will make Ɣ☺ΰ fulfilled in life. Trust in Him alone Α̲̅πϑ hope for thξ best.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 7:52 am

    Dnt do anything but pray and wait .There’s nothing yøΰ ĆŇ do about the вάв just av to keep it

  • Reply
    precious chidinma mbachu
    May 7, 2013 at 8:19 am

    Ur first mistake was staying with him after u found out dat he is married n yet he never really divorse his wife. Just pray fervently to ur God dat u don’t taste d venom of an angry woman. N pls if u can let dem be cos even after d divorse d woman will not still be happy with u for making her husband divorse her.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 8:59 am

    Have u never heard of Postinor 2? If you were educated enough to know when u ovulate, then it’s common knowledge that pregnancy is the most possible outcome of sex during ovulation. I think u wanted to be pregnant if not u wld have done the right thing. Keep your pregnancy cos many women are looking for babies out there, u never know what the future holds. U must not marry the Man.

    • Reply
      May 7, 2013 at 2:28 pm

      Dis is just d fact Rookey, a lady wil only get pregnant wen she wants not wen she doesn’t. she really wanted dat pregnancy, wen she’s not an illiterate!!!
      GOD help her.

  • Reply
    Nana Ama
    May 7, 2013 at 9:36 am

    I feel a little pit for you my dear. One of the most important a woman need to know about a man is know is his marital status. Most often when a man is bold and come to propose to us we just assume things. a Man not wearing ring or been at church has nothing do whether married or unmarried. If she has taken a little bit time to look round and ask some questions this wouldn’t have happen. what is happen is happen claim down and be yourself and wait until you give birth the you take any decision. good Luck my friend

  • Reply
    kech lilian
    May 7, 2013 at 10:59 am

    My dear! Forgiveness is the best revenge. Forgive the guy. Unfortunately the baby deserve to live. But run for ur dear life from dat guy. He is a liar. And liars are dangerous people. U are about to discover more lies. My believe! he use you as a surrogate mom without ur consent.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 11:23 am

    You are clearly a made love and bull shit… obviously wanted to get pregnant and you did.but blve me what goes around comes around.

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 11:34 am

    At this point, you should calm down as he has said. Since he has filed for a divorce, he will definitely send away the other woman. There is nothing new under the sun. It is now your cross, pray for God’s protection over your life. Shikena!

  • Reply
    May 7, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    first of all, the man could have been lying about having problems with his wife…as much as you should not have gone to his house given that u know what would go down, DO NOT marry him unless he finalises the divorce…even that, if his wife did not commit adultery, as a christian you would also be sinning by marrying him….that man says u shouldnt worry…this is a nigerian woman whose husband you’re having a child for..she may genuinely show u and make u regret like she said

  • Reply
    May 8, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    Dats nt the way 2 handle issues lyk dis. Dnt condemn

  • Reply
    May 8, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    Most ladies have broken pples home and claim not to knw ,always look well and ask questions before you jump into men, cos most of them are married.Dn’t be carried away with his looks,house, cars and money.Most successful men have strong women behind them.For u,u heard marriage and u opened ur legs without enquirer even when u new what ovulation was.pray to God and also beg the woman.A childless woman is an angry woman.

  • Reply
    May 9, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    My dear you are the biggest fool I have ever seen. You made love without condom to a man you don’t know anything about his medical history. Choi! You girl’s are risk takers. You are lucky you only got pregnant. You saw his wedding pics after making love to him huh? Why didn’t he had a chat about his marital status earlier in the relationship or first thing when you came into his house rather than pouncing on you. Believe you me, he brought you to his house to shine your Congo. He wouldn’t have told you if you hadn’t seen the pics. He painted his wife bad and he is the saint here eh? A man without sin who has guts to bring a woman into his matrimonial home. All these reasons he gave are not enough to get a divorce. Just note down these things: (1) if he had married in church just know that you can never have a church wedding again except if the wife dies. (2) sister, if he marries you, how are you so sure that he will not bring in another lady tomorrow and say every evil concerning you. What goes around comes around. (3) you have wrecked your fellow woman’s marriage be ready to face every consequences that will follow. All I see is desperation on your side. But goodluck anyway.

  • Reply
    May 10, 2013 at 7:53 am

    My dear what will be wil u, if the man still love u n said u shld keep the pregan pls keep it. A Man marriying second wife is nt a taboo, God did nt condem it.

  • Reply
    May 10, 2013 at 10:24 am

    My dear, dont be depressed by people’s comment or wat dey say,no man is perfect ok,keep d baby even if he dosn’t get married to you dat baby may be ur saving grace and ur companion, wen ur husband comes he wil stil marry u even wit d baby,but dont push d man to go for a divorce.alwaz pray to hav safe delivery,and i suggest u go for HIV test.Godbless u and d unborn child.

  • Reply
    treasure angel
    May 10, 2013 at 10:30 am

    God is in control keep d pregnancy nd b urself cos u will scale through god knew all dis before it happened ders a better plan for u

  • Reply
    May 10, 2013 at 10:46 am

    My dear dont be depressd by peoples comment or wat dey say no one is perfect ok,keep d baby,even if d man didnt marry u,d baby mayb ur saving grace and ur companion wen ur husband comes she wil marry u even wit d baby alwaz pray for safe delivery,and try to go for HIV test,Godbless u and d unborn child.

  • Reply
    May 11, 2013 at 7:58 am

    ma copine ne vous deranger pas du tout c’est dieu seul qui connait tout chose fait cet enfant au monde parceque tu ne c’est qui cet enfant serais demains si dieu a decider de te benir avec un enfant sa veux dire q’uil t’aime beaucoup parceque des autre femmes cherche ne trouve meme pas donc a mon suject de point de vue je te demande de le garder et de ne pas du tout vous derange parceque dieu va le faire possible croit seulement a lui Amen

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