Hi SL Fabz,
Today, I’d like us to discuss a very interesting topic – Relationships!
It’s totally natural for you to tell your closest friends about what’s going on in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should share everything. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy, and anytime you disclose private information, it is no longer private. You may have been saying a little too much to your girlfriends if you are guilty of sharing the following information too freely.
Unless your relationship isn’t that serious or is just starting up, it is abusive, or you are definitely breaking up or getting a divorce, it’s advisable keep your mouth shut about your relationship problems to friends and family. In other words, if you are in a serious relationship or are married and you want things to work out despite your difficulties, my advice is to keep things as private as possible.
Truly, there are loads of things you should not tell your friends about your relationship, but here are a few:
- Your partner’s income: This is especially for the ladies. How much your man earns is really none of your friend’s business. It is between you and your man and shouldn’t involve a third party, not even your girlfriend who has been with you since you were a toddler.
- His flaws and bad habits: If you tell your friends that your husband always leaves the toilet seat up or leaves his wet towel on the floor, they could blow that tiny flaw way out of proportion and upset you even more about the issue.
- The super intimate stuff: What happens in the bedroom, should stay in the bedroom. Never, and I mean NEVER, let out your intimacy details to your friends. It’s not only bad if your husband or wife gets to hear it from someone else, it’s just embarrassing. Only you can make your friends respect your spouse and the intimate details should be kept from even the closest of friends.
- When one of you cheats: Whether it was an emotional or physical affair, any acts that had you or your partner straying outside your relationship need to be kept quiet, especially if it does not lead to an end of the relationship. It’s common to want to vent to someone else say, your mom or your best friend, but that can irreparably damage their opinion of your partner. And while that may be not a bad idea if the two of you decide to separate, if you want to make a comeback it’ll be that much harder.
- What he thinks about other people: Everyone has their opinions about other people, both good and bad. If he criticizes someone to you, then he does it in the strictest confidence, so keep it to yourself or before you know it, that criticism could get back to the person he was talking about with some awkward consequences.
- Comparing: Unless you want your friends to think negatively about your partner, don’t compare them to others in front of your friends. We all go through ups and downs in relationships, it doesn’t mean you run off crying to your Friends about how your ex was so much better. These kind of things don’t go away, they usually travel to your partner somehow and it hurts them when they get to know how badly you talk about them and how little you try to make your friends respect them.
- Don’t tell your friend’s about your spouse’s past: This might sound like a nice story to tell about how you changed your player husband into a one-woman man, but to your girlfriends it’s probably a red flag. Once they know that your man has a shady past, they begin to expect the worst from him. If they don’t know about his wild past already then don’t disclose it.
So, let’s share our experiences. Do you have anything you’ve shared about your partner in the past that was later used against you? What other things about your relationships do you think must not be shared with your friends?
I’d love to read your comments!