Ever experienced heartbreak? How did you handle it?
Here’s how Olubunmi helped her friend through her heartbreak.
“I’ve known Ifeoma for seven years. When I met her, she was engaged, but he broke it off when he travelled to the US. She started dating someone else. She was so committed to the relationship, it only seemed right that it would lead to marriage. Three years later, he eventually proposed after what seemed like a lot of pressure. They moved in together and I was happy for Ifeoma because I knew this was what she wanted. I expected the wedding plans to kick off immediately, but time went by and not a word about it. I would ask casually, and she would shrug. I noticed she was losing weight and looking really sad and even distracted. She was never available to hang out, and she would go days without calling back. Finally, she told us (her friends) that he was cheating and she had been begging him to stop. She went as far as going on her knees to beg him, she called a family meeting that pissed him off, and she even called the other girl to beg her to leave her man. As far as I was concerned, it was pitiful and I wanted her to stop! She said she had invested too much in the relationship and couldn’t imagine herself leaving. So the other friends told her to make demands from him, drag him (and his side chick) on social media and stuff like that. I insisted that was not the way to go. This was her second major heartbreak, and Ifeoma wasn’t ready to do it any other way. She wanted revenge. And so she listened to the other girls and decided to embarrass her fiancé and his side chick at a restaurant. It didn’t end well. He kicked her out of the house (even though they both paid rent). Though he eventually broke up with the side chick, he started dating someone else and never took Ifeoma back.
Ifeoma was devastated and all she thought about was how to destroy him. She was ready to lose everything. She even said the only thing that would give her peace is seeing him suffer; it was that deep. She decided to go spiritual. That was when I had to really step in. I immediately reported her to her mother and also to elder brother. They scolded her like a child and it made her feel worse, but it stopped her from going all the way to becoming a vile human being.
She didn’t speak to me for one whole year, but we eventually made up and I told her the best way to get over him was to focus on developing herself. She took her skincare more seriously, she invested more in her business and even got a brand expert to position her business properly online. I told her to use her money for her own soft life and not for any man. Now she does a lot of travelling. She also got a nice place, got a nice car – things she was always skeptical of getting because she didn’t want to scare men away. She started living a life without waiting for approval from a man.
Ifeoma is the kind of woman who believes life is all about finding a spouse, and if that doesn’t happen then your life is miserable. I had to teach her many ways to be happy without being fixated on men and marriage.
Fast forward to 2022, Ifeoma has been to more than ten countries, her business makes millions of naira in profits, she is more confident, prettier, and doesn’t ignore red flags in relationships.
She is currently dating, but she isn’t fussing over the man to become a husband. She is simply having a good time and letting things happen as they should. My friend has come a long way, and I am happy to be part of this journey.
PS: Oh! I should mention that her ex-fiancé tried to come back when he encountered the brand new Ifeoma on Instagram, but my girl wasn’t having it!