Talk to Steph

Talk To Steph: My Husband complains that I’m not attractive

Hi Stephanie,

I am a mother of two lovely girls. My hubby complains that I am not looking attractive to him because of my big belly and fatness. Each time I ask him to take me out, he will complain that he has no money. Despite my tight schedule at work, I did create time but he never takes me out. We have been married for 4 years now and he has never taken me out for honeymoon before. Please Stephanie, could it be my shape that is making him ashamed or no money to cater for the trip? I wish I can be more attractive than I use to be. 

Dear Hope

Firstly, let me tell you that you’re beautiful. God made everyone beautiful and you shouldn’t feel any less than that. 

Secondly, from your words, I sense that you are uncomfortable with the way you look. If you are, then do something about it, not just for your husband, but for yourself. Do some exercise, change/watch your diet, take care of your hair and clothes, make yourself more attractive and feel good about it! With time, you’d notice that your husband will feed off that positive energy and give you the compliments you want to hear.

I’d also advise that you make the first move and take your husband out. Most of us married women make the mistake expecting that our husband must make the first move in organizing date nights and fun times. It doesn’t have to be somewhere expensive, find a lovely place where the two of you can enjoy some time together and when he has a lovely time out with you, he’d want to go out more often.

I hope this helps and I wish you the very best in your marriage.


So, what are your thoughts on this? What do you think Hope should do? Please drop your advice in the comment box below.

*If you have any kind of situation you need advice on and you’ll like us to discuss it here, please send an email to with the subject: Talk To Steph.

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  • Reply
    February 3, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    Aunt Steph,you said it all but I want to add that from her story I don’t think she used to be fat before her husband got married to her.I think his reacting this way to her is because he misses the smart lady he married..
    Sis,I would advice you to work on your size and your appearance if you know how you were looking when he got married to you,pls put in effort to look so if he sees you are making ng effort, I assure you that he will appreciate you.Thank you.

  • Reply
    Racheal Edward
    February 5, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    You said it all Aunty steph.
    U not being attractive may not really be ur size but d way u keep and carry yourself.
    Try to work on you for you and love yourself cos if you don’t, others won’t.
    All d best

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