Dear Stephanie,
I have been dating my boyfriend for four years now and deep down I know he wants to get married to me just as much as I want to be his wife, but the problem is that his mother just doesn’t like me! No matter what I do, she looks at me disapprovingly as if I am not good enough for her son. How do I handle this matter? I know she is the one delaying my boyfriend from proposing. I am not getting younger! – Eunice
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Hey Dearies! How should Eunice approach this issue?
70 Comments
prisca Eke
August 24, 2012 at 9:04 amLet her quit,becus she will never enjoy d’marriage even if d’guy propose.
Mary Afahaeme
August 24, 2012 at 9:36 amGo ahead n marry him if u love him, treat his mother with luv n respect n I bet u she will adore u eventually
jumoke
August 24, 2012 at 9:48 amShe should rememba dat she is nt only getin married to d guy alone,if she force herself into d marriage sh might end up having a broken home.she shld tink twice
Debby
August 24, 2012 at 9:55 amShe can pray and tell God about it. Cos if his mum doesn’t like you d marriage is gonna be very difficult cos its like u r getting married to the mum too.
Tessy Uche
August 24, 2012 at 9:55 amDear, taking my reference 4rm d Bible: “by strength shall no man prevail”. d distance between u and ur challanges is d distance between ur knee and d ground. Go 2 d LORD in prayer.
Tessy Uche
August 24, 2012 at 9:56 amHave u eva talked 2 GOD?
Eugenia
August 24, 2012 at 10:01 amD lady should start praying seriously. so long her guy loves and stand for her. with prayers and patience, God will touch d heart of guy’s mother. i have seen testimonies like this. in life u fight for what belongs to you by praying. life is not roses.
bimbo
August 31, 2012 at 11:18 ami concur Eugenia
Lydia
August 24, 2012 at 10:31 amHey dear, i suggest dat u marry d guy if he propose 2 u, afterall, u ar nt going 2 leave under 1 roof with d guy’s mother, put it into prayer and believe dat one day God will change her mind towards u.
Adegboye Oluwaseyi N.
August 24, 2012 at 11:00 ami think i will second what prisca said…happiness should be considered as a mainstay of all decisions u make before going into marriage with sumone.
Eva
August 24, 2012 at 11:11 amquit!, if the guy is not ready to convince his mother for you, I greatly fear that in a very near future, he will still be under full control of his mother
Rosita112
August 24, 2012 at 11:13 amSorry Love, for bursting your bubble. knowing deep down ur heart that a man wants to marry u isn’t enough. believe me I’ve been there, i feel your pain. Ur man has to come out and state his intentions clearly don’t just make assumptions on your own that his mother is the one delaying ur man proposing marraige. Open your eyes and leave emotions out of it. its better u know where that relationship is heading. If BF mun does not approve of the relationship its left for your Man to convince her that its u and only u he wants. All the best dear
suzzy
August 24, 2012 at 11:14 amHello eunice, I think u shd pray abt it and liv everytin 2 God. If u guy luv each other dat much, then nobody can stand in ur way. Becos luv conquer all
Iwuh Doris
August 24, 2012 at 11:20 amI dont know if you go to church and believe in God. Firstly have you prayed about this relationship to find out if its the will of God concerning you, if you have and sure that he is the right man for you. Then go ahead to a dangerious seed in the alter of God, concerning the issue at hand and see God move.
Ebere
August 24, 2012 at 11:48 amMy dear, i feel your pain after four years and still the mother never seems to like u. Even if the son insists on marrying u, she wont still like u, in as much as i would have said u should keep praying and have faith that God would touch her to like u,but i wont becos the worst thing that could happen to any existing human being is not been loved by the so called in laws to be most especially the mother to the man.I was once in ur shoes and though it has ended but i thank God it did becos i wouldnt have been happy married to that family with hatred from some members of the same family.my dear sister, its painful but please,i will advise you talk to ur man, ask him what and why his mum never liked u,ask him to ask her what u did to her for that kind of hatred,from his response u will now be able to take a decision.if he soiunds kind of convincing, then it might work but if negative i advise u pray for God’s grace then move out of that relationship.Thats my candid advice.
Sarah Bello
August 24, 2012 at 12:01 pmJust keep praying & ask for God’s will †0 be done in Ʋr life, all will be well.
Ebere
August 24, 2012 at 12:05 pmMy dear, i feel ur pain as a woman and for the fact that i was once in such a relationship where the sisters and mother never liked me for their greedy and selfish reasons, though its over but u know what, i have come to the realisation that its the best thing that could have happened.See, marrying into a family where one or more of the family members never liked u is the worst thing that could ever happen to any lady becos u will never be happy.I feel ur pain that u feel that ur man really wishes to marry u but becos of his mum’s hatred its not working out yet………we re xtains and i believe in the power of prayer but in this case, i would want u to know that what if that home isnt urs?and thereby the mother hating u is God’s own way of telling u to leave?Please,call the man and ask him”why his mother hates u” from his response, u will be able to know if u should move on,as hard as it may be i will advise u move away.God’s grace willl see u tru
NCEriccheezy
August 24, 2012 at 12:08 pmShe should not border herself so much, since his boy friend luv her so much i think her boy friend is in better position to let his mother know dat he have been in luv with her 4 many years and he have know how good the girlfriends is, i think his mother we understand his son.
stephanie
August 24, 2012 at 12:11 pmi fnk evryfn lies in d hands of the guy.if he really wants her to be his wife,he should have his way around with his mother;afterall she’s his mother
obiageri chibueze
August 24, 2012 at 12:15 pmbluv,l wil advice u to get closer to ur boyfriend mother know what dat makes her not to accept u.correct them if correctable nd pray for God intervention,it wil surely work. ur so call boyfriend has to work on the mother if really he wants u as a wife. gdluck
Lulu Uzowuru
August 24, 2012 at 12:16 pmDo ur best n leave the rest. Pray n trust God if he’s meant for u, he sure will be no matter the barriers. But if otherwise, don’t blame God, He knows what’s best for u darling. So jus pray, keep faith n be of ur best behaviour…all the best
stephen levi
August 24, 2012 at 12:19 pmMarriage z al abt luv bt U also nd family bkgroud 2 support ur marriage. Allow d boy 2 convice his mum.
Mary omorode
August 24, 2012 at 12:29 pmput evrytinz in prayer cos wit God al tins re possible.
Catherine Okereke
August 24, 2012 at 12:38 pmℓ̊ suggest she goes to her, talk to her like a MOTHER. Make her understand Ɣ☺U̶̲̥̅̊ love her son also make her know you love her too and would take care of her as a mother. Also, ur man should make his intention known to his mother. Then back it up with prayers.
chinny
August 24, 2012 at 12:43 pmDear Eunice you are in love with your guy and not his mother.Treat his mother as your mother and also be prayerful so that God will touch her heart to love u and accept you.
Rukky
August 24, 2012 at 1:26 pmA guy that loves u and want to settle with you will go and do anytin for you. Now if that guy really wants to marry you he will propose despite his mothers refusal. Yes we need blessing from our parents to get married but they cant choose partners for us.We are grown enough to make that decision. Ur man should set boundries. talk to him about it and also pray about it if he is urs nothing can take him away from u,not even his mothers hatred for u.
Joan Taylor
August 24, 2012 at 1:30 pmShe need to sit down and have a conversation with her boyfriend mother to find out what going on. Mothers are always protective of their sons and sometime the woman in their son lives become a threat to them. I have encounter a similar problem like this before, and the way I solve the problem was to have a girls out day with me and his mom, by doing this is gives her a better chance to know me better and also a chance for me to hear her concern. I am glad we did have his moment together because her son mean the world to me and so is she. So try talking to his mother, the only thing you have to loose is her son. Good Luck.
Issuesoflife
August 24, 2012 at 1:38 pmThere is nothing Impossible for God also, God has a destiny for every one of us and that destiny is of good and never evil to bring us a lovely and happy ending.
Bearing the above in mind it is important you know that seeking God’s destiny and following it is your choice, man can make his or her own destiny as a result of the choice he/she has made.
A BIRD & A FISH CAN FALL IN LOVE BUT WHERE WOULD THEY LIVE? Love is not always enough, It is not even a factor in choosing who you marry, WHAT MATTERS IS ATTRACTION NOT LOVE.
YOU ARE TO LOVE WHO YOU MARRY NOT MARRY WHO YOU LOVE, I am hoping this isn’t too complicated to understand.
Seek the face of God concerning your life partner do not go into the marriage just because you love him because when things begin happening that love would all of sudden diminish, ALWAYS REMEMBER LOVE IS A CHOICE NOT JUST A FEELING.
If a man truly wants to marry you his family wouldn’t be a factor, if a man has heard from God that you are his wife no mother or father or family member would have a say in it. He would stamp his feet on the ground for you and everyone around him would have no choice than to accept it or simply walk out.
Do not make excuses for him by saying he hasn’t proposed because of his mum. Rather tell God that if he is the man for you he should cause everything to work out for your good and if he is not let him drift farther and farther form you. Trust me you would definitely never regret you prayed that prayer.
However, ALWAYS REMEMBER LOVE IS NOT a major factor when you’re NOT MARRIED, when you’ married THEN LOVE BECOMES A MAJOR FACTOR as it is A CHOICE.
Be prayerful about the issue and if he is serious about you he would pray along side you about his mum.
Jenny
August 24, 2012 at 1:48 pmWell said @Rossita! U dnt just assume d guy rilly wnts to marry u and d mother is holdin him bak. Dere’s no such thing wen a guy is serious. He shuld fight for u. Does it mean d mother mks decisions for him? Pray pray and pray about it. A broken r/ship is beta dan a broken marriage. Talk to God!
Ajoke
August 24, 2012 at 2:01 pmMy dear if your man is a good man i wont advice you to leave him for no reason cos most mothers are like that and if she cant come up with any good reason for not liking you then she doesnt have a point.im in the same situation as you and my fiancee’s mum will prefer him to marry someone she can control.
chika
August 24, 2012 at 2:23 pmI fink she should discuss the issue with the guy, if he truly love she’ll knw from his response and let her remember dat she’ll be living with the guy and nt the mother, she should also try and be nice to her, who knows the mother may change some day.
Christiana
August 26, 2012 at 10:59 amNothing is impossible b4 God,jst go ahead n marry d guy, d mother will definitely change
Lynda
August 24, 2012 at 2:33 pmDearest Eunice trust me dis man doesn’t want to marry u.he’s just hiding under the guise of the fact dat his mother doesn’t like u.if he loved u enough to marry u his mothers dislike for u will only fuel his desire to prove her wrong by marrying u.as painful as it may seem,he’s just using u to bide his time pending wen he will meet the girl of his dreams and ditch u.den he will use his mums dislike for u as an excuse.my advice to u is that u ditch him before he ditches u.
aminat
August 24, 2012 at 2:55 pmI will advice you look before you leap. if the guy is really into you he should have proposed to you, regardless of the odds.Men/ guys generally have a way of calming their mom down and letting her see reasons why he wants to marry you .Marriage is a life time commitment and one thing you should remember also is when you are married, you marry not only the man but his family also, although it will get to a time that they won’t really count that much but at the early stage of marriage you really need them. All the best
Joyce
August 24, 2012 at 3:21 pmEunice dear,if ur heart is really beating 4 him & his 4 u,& his mother disagree.consult ur creator (GOD) b/c He alone knoweth d bone of ur bone & d flesh of ur flesh.if he is 4 u,dear his mother will surely bless ur marriage.Remember matrimony no b child’s play o o.It takes God 2 live in d world of matrimony & in it’s atmosphere.God b with us all.
ijeoma ede
August 24, 2012 at 3:53 pmEunice my dear 4yrs is a whole lot of time but my dear getting married to a man dat his mum isn’t in support of d relationship is a big mistake u might regret in future.but in all dis pray to God for divine direction. For me my advice is for u to move on with ur life.
Amarachi
August 24, 2012 at 4:06 pmNotin prayer can nt do, wit d help of God all things wil turn out gud, let her b patience n prayerful.
America;The land of the brave
August 24, 2012 at 4:43 pmlet him go.
You have tried all you could, yet she disapproves, if you persist and he marries you, he will be caught between both of you and that is not a good way to start a married life.
Mayah
August 24, 2012 at 5:22 pmHi. My 1st question is, has d guy proposed?If he hasn’t,Try not 2 assume his mum is behind it.Then go to GOD in prayers. Fast if u av to.There is nothing too hard for him to do.Other ladies out there PLS lets be careful.Meeting our future in-law’s is a BIG DEAL and dey’ld hold on to the first thing we do.Before i met mine, i prayed a whole lot. so pips PLS.Another thing Euice 4years is a lot. if the mum does not approve of u, issues myt arise later o so dear pls be careful and talk to your BF about it. GOD bless u.
Olayide Shonubi Mrs
August 24, 2012 at 7:19 pmAre you sure she doesn’t like you,? I am asking this cos sometimes ladies assume this.I am 58 years old psychologist and a grandmother,so I believe I have little experience.If you are sure of this,then don’t think of marrying that boy,run.There is a Yoruba adage that says a bad husband is better than bad in – laws.You may have to deal with this for a very long time.Dont bring God into this.This is what I will advice my only daughter.
joy
August 24, 2012 at 7:25 pmmy darling,i can feel your pain, been there, but sweety your boyfriends love is not enough, you need the love of his family as well and as you said nothing you do pleases his mom, you have to have a talk with your man, ask him what his plans for you are as and why his mom hates you,he has to let his mother know you are the woman he wants to spend his life with and if she cant come to love you, then let her keep her resentment to herself and respect her son and you by not making you uncomfortable and keep any association with her to a minimum and whatever you do, talk to God about it
stephanie
August 24, 2012 at 10:39 pmCommunication is the key in your situation…first to GOD then 2nd to your boyfriend.. Open up to him his not a child,most guyz prefers to hurt their wife than hurting their mum,while to few the reverse is the case….ask him were this relationship is leading you both, if he cant handle the situation, my sister bounce,because a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage. Then ask God to direct you,cos he said he wont allow that which is more than us to come upon us…goodluck dear
Bisi
August 24, 2012 at 10:49 pmMy candid advice to the lady is that if she is certain that her boyfriend’s mum’s position about her relationship with the son is affecting her boyfriend not proposing to her then she should know that the boyfriend is not in love with her to the extent that he can make a decision that will override the guy’s loyalty to his mother. I have seen and experienced it,so its better to quit the relationship now
churchboy omini
August 25, 2012 at 7:46 amu cnt actualy marry a man whose mother does not want u..think and pray ..dnt let ur emotions push u.
Ekemini Nkanga
August 25, 2012 at 7:59 amKeep loving him my dear but have it at the back of your mind the if you guys are not meant to be it will be disastrous to force it.
ify
August 25, 2012 at 8:15 amThe truth of the matter is ” Are you very sure your boyfriend really wants to marry you” His mother will not be the won to decide for him. If he loves you,he will propose. Above all,take it to the lord in prayer. You might meet somebody better than that your boyfriend.
Kay
August 25, 2012 at 8:20 amWisdom is profitable unto direction. Pray and remain calm. There isnothing God cannot turn around. Please,never get pushy or disrespectful. Of course it is not easy but God works things out for His people.And please, do not force his hand or become demanding. He might just walk the opposite directin. All in all, pray like you have never prayed before.
snowhiteestyll
August 25, 2012 at 8:31 amI think i agree with Mary Agahaebo Steph and she should also try to talk to God he is a God that never fails a God that answers by fire to the cry of his children
Fauzzy Rex
August 25, 2012 at 8:59 am1 of d worst Tins 2 happen 2 a woman is 2 have inlaws who hate her .my dear ur joy can never b full no matter how much ur husband loves u. But hw r u sure ur guy’s mum is d reason he has not proposed? Try not 2 make assumptions. Right now,I think you need 2 knw hw much ur feeling is reciprocated. Does ur guy really wanna spend d rest of his life with u? Y does his mum hate u? Bt everytin boils down 2 d fact dat if u wanna spend d rest of ur life wit dis guy u have 2 win his mum over; above all,put everytin in prayer,if dat home is urs,then God will do his wonders and give u d necessary support u need,just believe.
Maculey
August 25, 2012 at 9:57 amAm 33yrs old, frm Edo State. Hav bn in a relationship wit an igbo girl for over 3yrs. But my people most especially my mum nd my only sister will not want to hear dat cos they say my late dad said non of his children should marry any igbo person again. An igbo man who married my sister nd they had a son, den he started maltreating her nd went ahead nd married anoda woman, an igbo woman. He den left her with d son to take care of alone. His wickedness is now affecting my relationship. Wot should i do?
Biso
August 25, 2012 at 11:01 amDrop him asap. If you marry him there will be no peace madam. Drop him n walk away. Love will find u again. I went tru the same n i dropped the guy n the greatest love found me n its sweeter than my x. Drop him n RUN o i don talk my own. I know its painful but the pain will make u stronger x
obialunamma
August 25, 2012 at 12:01 pmEunice, if for sure that the guy loves u n want to marry u save d mother’s attitude, then it’s time for u to talk to ur heavenly father about it with fasting n prayer. Give n dance quality high praise to Him cos d bible made us understand that praises gets God to move on our behalf. And maybe get d guy to do it with u cos i know prayer of agreement works. But if after all things n it remains same, then God is saying something to u that u need to listen and understand cos His thoughts for us are ever bigger than ours. It is well my dear, best of luck my dear
Nkeasi Joan
August 25, 2012 at 1:53 pmEunice know that no matter how long the nite may be the sun shall finaly rise so keep praying because what truly belongs to you can never be taken away from you and if God says yes nobody can say no so just be patient and prayerful then God will do it for you
katy
August 26, 2012 at 5:13 amOh my dear is better u quit because it can never work .the mother will give U nothing but hell no matter what U do she wouldn’t appreciate it just becaus that hate.
Ugonwa
August 26, 2012 at 6:40 amMy darling, please move on , your bf does not know wot he wants and by the time u move on, he will count his loss in tears. a broken relationship is betta than a broken / miserable marriage……am sure u dont want to experience that. All the best.
King
August 26, 2012 at 7:55 amMy dear, your boyfriend is the issue not the mum. If he truly love u for marriage and not dating, he will fight for it. When a guy want to leave a lady after a long term relationship, he comes with family excuse and that’s exactly what ur man is doing right now. Propose to him, if he says then move on with your life because all what the mum is doing is nothing but acting as instructed by the guy. Pray for God’s wisdom to direct you in making the right decision.
Sunshine Francis Agaba
August 26, 2012 at 4:10 pmDont eva unda-estimate d power of a moda… Ur guy may love u, but d bita trut must b told n dat is, u wil strugle in d marriage… U wil strugle 2 please ur moda inlaw 4eva bcoz wht eva u do wil neva b appreciated… Prayer wil help alot, but if d moda remain adamant, den u hav let 2 go bcoz d son wil neva b hapy knowin he goes againts his moda’s wish… Xperience n tym hav shown dat pple who marries in dis condition end up in a broken homes and only few hav succed n perhaps u myt b among d few if u’re ready to tke d risk dat is involve… B wise my dear bcoz those who RUSH IN often RUSH OUT!!!
Taiwo
August 26, 2012 at 6:26 pmSweety God will see you through and he will arrest the heart of your mother inlaw, that’s if truely the guy is the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. Firstly you will have to try and get closer to your mother inlaw know her likes and dislikes because seriously you are marrying his family not him.I hope you aren’t doing anything wrong though? If u aren’t just keep praying.God will make you happy. Am sure the woman want the best for her son, don’t worry it is well.
success ozioma
August 26, 2012 at 9:22 pmPrayer and character will take u there be of good behaviour and show them love. All d best.!
Toba
August 27, 2012 at 7:17 amClose to God in prayer…If he’s your own no one can stop your being together. I suggest u seek God’s face.
Anita
August 27, 2012 at 8:47 ami am also in same shoes. i have been with a guy for 7yrs and every member of his family approves our relationship but his mum does not want to set her eyes on me. Every time i try to leave, he keeps reassuring me dat all will be well. i love him so much and sometimes wish his mum will just get out of the way.
francess
August 27, 2012 at 3:55 pmI fink d geh shld bounce cos if she remains,she wld regret evry bit of the marriage
kechy
August 28, 2012 at 12:45 pmd question is-is he a mummy’s boy?(dose guys dt dosnt do anytn wtout consultin der mums)if he is, dearie u beta quit d r/ship.marriage is mor dan wat we tink or see.a mother who dosnt like hs son’s wld be wife can go to any length to mk sur u dnt hv peace wt her son so u beta watch it b4 u enta.is ur guy a man of hs words?can he make decisions on hs own &stand by it?its d guy dt u’l look out for 1st b4 invlvin hs mum.
Chinasa
August 28, 2012 at 12:47 pmDear, I am no love expert but I will give my candid advise. Have a moment with your future mother-in-law (since you love this guy dearly and you know he does too), I mean try to ask her for a minute, she’d definitely agree, she’s human (have that in mind). And then ask her if there’s something you are not doing right. She’d be surprised, I tell you but have it in mind that you have done the most important thing of trying to break that barrier (which is hatred or whatsoever). Get her talking and she would begin to like you. I hope you succeed with this one. Wish you all the best with your trial and cast all your worries to our heavenly Father, he’d console you …
Ruth ABiodun
August 30, 2012 at 10:36 amMy advice is, if there’s a way you can meet with the mum to ask her why she don’t want you to get married to her son. My dear whatever answer she gave you don’t play with it. Act on it and i assure you will definately enjoy every bit of move you take.
Tyna
August 30, 2012 at 11:39 ammy dear, i ve a frnd who is going the same thng you are goin thru right nw n am gona tell d davise i gave her which was reality….. 1st of all if this guy in question truly love u n want to marry u, he will unless he his not telling you d truth. A matured man should be old enof to mak his decision n stand by it. he should also be in d position to ask his mother her reason 4 not allowin him 2 marry u becos she will tell him d truth and mayb thr ar things d woman see in you she doesn’t lik… i strongly believe dat if d young man luv u, he will go ahead 2 marry…….. dont force it bt pray abt it n tell God 2 lead u if he his d right man 4 u……… GOODLUCK
Bootylcious diva
August 31, 2012 at 6:23 pmThis guy is your bf of many years,and he has not proposed ,do you think he wants to spend the rest of his life with you ,if he does ,is not about his mother,there something he isn’t telling you.is either he has another girlfriend the mother knows and has introduced her to the mum,or he has told his mother you aren’t wife to be.babes Abeg be wise.
ola
September 17, 2012 at 1:12 pmFirst,av a heart-to-heart talk with ur boyfriend,wateva comes 4m d discussion wld define ur next line of action.also be sure d guy is actually serious,u neva can tell it mite nt be his mother delayin him 4m proposing,guys cld be funny,u knw! finally,start puttin d woman in ur prayers n b religious abt it……all d best!
mary
October 3, 2012 at 1:19 pmits better for you not to get married to the guy cos, its like you getting married to the mother also…….if the mother of the guy does not approve you and you went on to marry the guy the marriage will be a thug of war that is my own piece of advice
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