Dear Steph,
I was in the US for five years getting my degree, I just moved back to the country about seven months ago and got married to my long term boyfriend two months ago. On getting back from our honeymoon, my mother in law brought a woman to live in our boys quarters, she claimed she is her niece and needed a place to stay with her two kids aged four and a baby that is six months old. She is young, even way younger than I am, I felt bad for her and let her stay, I even took her as my sister. At first it was good and things were moving smoothly until suddenly the girl started becoming unnecessarily rude. She’d just barge into private moments with my husband demanding his attention; she started moving her things from the boys quarters to the main house without my approval. Whenever I complain about her rudeness, my husband will plead on her behalf and calm me down. I noticed my husband would steal away from the bed for hours in the middle of the night. When I ask where he was, he’d kiss me and just give me an excuse. I was becoming suspicious but I just couldn’t bring myself to believe my husband could be cheating so early in our marriage. I pushed aside those doubts and went after my husband when he left our bed one night. I followed him to the boys quarters and waited, I went in only to find my husband on top of his so called cousin giving her confirm akpako and instead of a remorse girl, I saw a girl ranting and shouting that I stole her man because I be Americana, she said my husband is the father of her children and that she is not going anywhere, my husband has been pleading with me but I can’t even look at him.
I don’t know what to do, I feel like it’s my fault for neglecting him for five years, this man has been with me through thick and thin, he helped me through school, what should I do?
Oluchi
Hey dearies, please give your advice on this issue.
12 Comments
owen
June 16, 2013 at 8:39 amOooooommmg! Shit happens. Gal uve gat ur pride, end this crappage b4 its ends you, its to early for such bullshit. Single men re in excess i can bet on dat, u’ll get ur destiny husband soon with divine guidance. Gudluck.
ugonwa
June 16, 2013 at 7:04 pmYou were not married to him while you were in America so it was not your fault for “neglecting him” wake up and move on.Life is too short for even my enemy to be unhappy…
jennifer
June 16, 2013 at 7:30 pmMy I tink is better to quit d so called marriage bl4 them throwing U out of d house
osayuki
June 16, 2013 at 7:37 pmDon’t be hard on yourself for being away from Nigeria for 5 years, it was for a good cause&u didn’t do anything wrong at all. A man that truly loves u will wait for u faithfully. This man isn’t faithful at all. He didn’t just cheat because u were away, he actually had kids from another woman&still sleeps with her in ur matrimonial home. I wish u found out early enough before ur wedding. Well now, its up to u to decide if u can bear sharing ur man with another woman cos from d look of things, u kind of have a polygamous home.
viviaNna martins
June 16, 2013 at 7:49 pmI want to be model but am also a student of the university of porthacourt am studing linguistics and communication studies am 21 years old and am in my frist year but I don’t know how to go about it .I haveing tried joing an agency but they all seem fake and unreliable.
christabel
June 16, 2013 at 8:08 pmWell, I did say it ws all ur fault cos u would hv knwn there ws someone in his life before u entered. Even wen u got back frm ur honeymoon nd ur mother Inlaw brought her, u were suppose to knw. Well my candid advice is quite nd move on with ur life. Dnt marry someone out of pity or cos he helped u. Even ur mother Inlaw will not take sides with u now Dat u hv found out. Plz Quit nd move on with ur life.
Yheancah
June 16, 2013 at 8:19 pmBabe, first step to self destruction is blaming yourself for others wrong doings. This guy is not worth wasting your emotions on. First thing you should know is, you did not neglect him since you went for a good course and did not abandon him to marry a better man over there. You paid your due as a diligent woman. He is not only a cheater, but a liar too. Second thing is, the family members does not even like you. If they do, you would have been warned about the other woman. Best thing for you is to leave that man and take your time to get a better one. Well except you okay with polygamous but no one will advice you that. Just be good and allow God help you with the next step in your life.
gloria kelechi moses
June 16, 2013 at 8:30 pmChai I feel so sorry for u,but sincerly I think u shld move out of dat marriage n move ahead with ur life
VIKY
June 16, 2013 at 9:33 pmhola,es terrible lo que te ocurre,pero pienso que no te quiere,pues formo familia mientras estabas ausente,no entiendo por que se caso contigo teniendo hijos y una relacion con otra,ademas tu suegra es complice,si es lo que te ata,suelta esas ataduras,sal de esa casa,vete a trabajar lejos,no te quiere,se feliz,un abrazo fuerte.
debby
June 17, 2013 at 3:15 pmSweetheart, you need to pick up your things and leave that house. you were not meant for eachoda from onset bcos if he knew he cudn’t wait or ressit tempation he shud av tld u while u were schooling…his just a cheat and a pathetic liar…life goes on my dear…i am sure you will find a man that will make you happy and bring that beauty in out. best of luck
cathy
June 18, 2013 at 8:17 ammy dear just pack up and leave that house. no two ways about it sorry
collins awor lopwonya
June 20, 2013 at 11:56 amMy dear don’t stay in that marriage u deserve better.