Ony wrote :
Dear Steph,
I have been dating a guy for 4 years now, no signs of marriage.
Ony.
Dear Ony,
I understand how this can be frustrating for you. It would have helped if you provided a bit more details as to what is going on. My advise for now will be : There are a lot of reasons why one would want to get married one of which is if they are ready. If he does not want to get married, he is simply not ready. 4 years is a good courtship length, still it is all relative. Marriage is a 2 way call. It has to be established on love and mutual grounds and not forced by the other person. If he is not ready (in all aspects) and you are, and its dragging maybe it is time to re-evaluate your relationship and communicate about it. Again, certain factors will determine if you need to make an immediate exit e.g the depth of the love you have for one another, reasons for the delay e.g financial situations etc. Let there be no external pressures. The reasons for getting married should be considered, not because everyone around you is getting married.You first need to find out the reason why you want to get married. You have to decide whether you need to marry, have to marry, or want to marry. Once you figure that out and talk about it with your guy, the rest should not be difficult. All the best.
Let’s hear what SL Fabz have to say.
xoxo
#SL
20 Comments
Adwoa Adeku mills williams
February 23, 2013 at 6:16 amshe shld av lt us knw e state of e relationship nww.bt al i cn say is shld sit him down n tawk 2 him.b vry obsrvnt mayb hes no more intrstd in u or financial prblm is e issue.
bt if its nt dn i tnk 4yrz is enough 4 him 2 marry u.
bt i mst imp tyn is dnt 4c him im2 marrynn u pls.if he jx say he isnt ready dn hes jx nt serioz n u av 2 end it.
prestige baby
February 23, 2013 at 6:34 amOny you have to ask God first whether that guy is ur husband or not, without that u can’t do it on ur own power. And rember a lady don’t ask a man his hand in marriage. So check whether u re dealing with ur right guy.
cathy
February 23, 2013 at 6:44 amLove your comments Stephanie. Though not married I will give my two cents. Communication plays an essential part in your talks with him. Listening to him too helps you get a clearer picture of what you are dealing with. Be open, honest and sincere with him and ask it of him to be too. Hopefully it will all be well as you will no where you stand with him. Bless
prestige baby
February 23, 2013 at 6:44 amPing me for more information privately. 22EB918D
gloria
February 23, 2013 at 6:53 amThere are no two ways about it. We don’t need 4 years to be ready for marraige, he simply dosnt need dat marraige, he might have other plans!
Eudia
February 23, 2013 at 6:53 amI have been dating a guy for 4 year now and i love him,but when ever i tell him about marrige,he feel bad but he continue telling me,he love me that i should give him time
stella
February 23, 2013 at 7:07 amI hav been dating a guy 4 1yr nd half nw nd I made a mistake of nt lettn him knw my where about till he visited my school nd I was’nt there,,, I explained tinz 2 him bt he’s concluded his own way, nw we’r far apart…. What do I do???
Akuvada
February 23, 2013 at 7:14 amPls i only nid ur help by suponsor me in football, i promise u, u wil nt lose by God grace afta it has sucesful ur money wil return bak to u pls, jst do dat 4 me @ here is my no. 08038422158 if my request is grantd.
tmine
February 23, 2013 at 7:44 amOny, just want to tell u that, not every relationship ends up in marriage. Have u guys comunicated about it? Maybe u are not even the kind of woman he wants to marry, don’t u think so? I’ve u asked him his ideal woman, so u will know if u fit in? I courted my husband for 8 years, and I didn’t feel it, cos we had already agreed that we will get married after I had graduated from the university. So u see, there was a mutual understanding between both of us. This marriage stuff is something u guys should be dicussing like everyday, how u want ur marriage to be, how u will dress,etc. So my dear, count ur teeth with ur tongue and redefine ur relationship with him. except age is on ur side, u can still afford to still play around a little, but one thing u have to know, each day that passes, we grow older. Have a nice weekend. And thanks stephanie for this platform
nicholas
February 23, 2013 at 8:30 amwell,dats right,but still she shud ask him why marriage is not coming in after four yrs.be prayerful dear,nothing is more than talking to GOD about such situations
Mercy
February 23, 2013 at 8:32 amHi. Am datin a guy for some yr na bt he always accuse mi of cheatin on him bt am nt any tim i try to explain to him he make tinz difficut for mi pls help mi cos am so tired, do u no my problem nw cos i fell for him
Teefah Rozay
February 23, 2013 at 11:02 amStephanie has summed it up perfectly.
If you haven’t already have a serious conversation about it with him, lay it all on the table. At this point you have nothing to lose.
I hope it all goes well, and keep us posted pls.
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Lovepeddler
February 23, 2013 at 1:12 pmHe probably is not ready to settle due to some reasons, so my suggestion is to ask him where the relationship is headed. Listen to what he has to say and I hope you can tell when a man is lying or not. If you are not satisfied with his response, then speak to God in prayer so He can direct your path. Be sure you are ready for marriage before taking any step.
Wish you all the best!
stephen C N
February 23, 2013 at 2:46 pmdis is gud 4 wested yrs, in d first place when a man a woman meets in a reletionship at interval d reletionship shuold be difined and u both knows what to do next. Dont assume that he will, pray abt it and talk deeply with him if no possetive respons pls take a walk . Nothing gud can come in unless the bad quit. Wishing u d best. Tnx to my name sake for dis platfoam.
VIKY
February 23, 2013 at 2:59 pmNO TODOS LOS NOVIOS DE LARGA DURACION,LLEGAN A CASARSE,PERO ES QUE NO ESTAN HECHOS EL UNO PARA EL OTRO,TOMALO COMO UN AVISO ,QUIZAS EL MATRIMONIO CON TU NOVIO NO SEA LO MEJOR PARA TI,PIENSA QUE LA VIDA ES LARGA,QUIZAS EL VERDADERO AMOR ESTE POR LLEGAR.SI TE DA TANTAS LARGAS NO ESTA SEGURO,SUERTE.
VIKY
February 23, 2013 at 3:03 pmQUIZAS SI TE DA TANTAS LARGAS,ESTES RECIBIENDO UN AVISO,QUIZAS TU VERDADERO AMOR NO SEA TU NOVIO,EL QUE LLEVES SALIENDO 4 AÑOS NO DA POR SENTADO QUE TERMINES TU VIDA CON EL,SI TE QUIERE NO TE DEJA ESCAPAR,SUERTE
Kezman
February 23, 2013 at 10:09 pmWomen have this tendency of pushing the whole marriage thing, using age as an excuse “I’m not getting any younger and bla-bla-bla-bla”. First of all, not every relationship has to end in marriage; you have to let it flow…Let go, let flow … like my mum used to say. 2ndly, not everyone wants to get married so at the very 1st start of the relationship, you need to define these things and come to an agreement. Good lock Ony
stanley
February 25, 2013 at 9:38 pmbabe my advise is marriage is life entity open your eyes,mercy johnson later have her own family after dating around just be prudential babe
Bimz
February 26, 2013 at 10:57 amMy Dear, I was in a relationship for over a decade and it didnt end in marriage. I was stopped by relatives, friends etc along the way but I stuck in my neck cos I loved him and wanted it to end in Marriage. My dear a guy that wants to settle down will state it from the very first month you met. Dont be blind-veiled that guy doesnt want you cos it doesnt take a long time to make a decision. So my candid advice to you is to re-evaluate your relationship with him, have a heart to heart talk and above all take it to God in prayers…
SURENAIJA
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