*My wonderful people! I got this mail this morning. Kindly give your sincere advice from the depths of your heart where love resides. Thank you* – Stephanie
Dear Stephanie,
I am a 34 year old mother of one. Although I have never been married, I was in a very long and rewarding relationship for 7 years. He died in a sporadic shooting incident that happened in the UK many years ago and since then I shut my heart to any possibility of finding love and focused on my son whom I had with my late boyfriend. For some time now, my mother has been encouraging me to go out more and meet people, so I went to a party organised by one of my colleagues and I met this dashing young man. We started texting afterwards, and now I can say my heart is drawn towards him. The only problem is – he is just 25 years old! He has a good job and confesses he loves me, but I have not been able to introduce him to anyone as I am not sure what their reaction would be. For now, we only get to meet in hotels. Although he has invited me over to his house a couple of times but I am not sure I am ready to face the fact that we are 9 years apart in age! We’ve been seeing for 5 months now and I just don’t know what to do. I would like to tell my mum, but I am afraid she might die of the shock! Is it ok to date someone 9 years younger than me? Do we have a future together? I really want to know what the visitors of this site think. You are doing a great job, Steph. God bless! – Onome
88 Comments
chy
August 29, 2012 at 12:21 pmDear,pls if both of u luv each other go ahead $ marry bcos age is jus a figure;there ar many women who hav married men younger than they ar(10 yrs $ above) urs is no new thing.once u pray $ (if xtian) God convinces u thru peace of mind…ride on.u ar d on ly one who knws this unless u go broadcasting it.gudluck!
Athan O Osigwe
August 29, 2012 at 1:31 pmI am responding to this because I feel very strongly about what I am going to say.I am not very sure, no disrepect intended.I am not very sure you do love this guy.Because if you do you would be your own counsel.When you are in love you do not see colour nor age.But Africans love with different kinds of motives.Ultimately, thats the risk of loving an african woman ,No disrespect intended.Athan siging off.
stanley
August 29, 2012 at 2:56 pmIf both of u lov ur self ga ahead and marra coz lov is all about understanding and nt age
Issuesoflife
August 29, 2012 at 12:45 pmAge shouldn’t limit you from pursuing anything in life.
However, it is important to apply wisdom in every area of your life especially when relationships or career is involved. I would suggest you look before you leap, be extremely sure about that guy’s intentions for you make sure it’s not a doggy motive. Also, make sure he is willingly to marry you with the right motives.
A mere promise shouldn’t do it for you and also don’t bother with it if you find out his not in it for marriage but just a flare. BE VERY CAREFUL & VIGILANT and the only way to do that is by pray and trusting and also waiting to HEAR CLEARLY FROM GOD.
If you don’t know God then it would be very difficult to discern so I suggest you get to personally know him and identify how God speaks to you if you don’t know him yet. xx
rozey
August 29, 2012 at 12:47 pmJust go on with ur life and date him in as much u’re sure he truly love and pls try 2 watch his steps b4 marrying him…
Tonia
August 29, 2012 at 12:50 pmfor me,age does not matter and u dont ned to tell ple of his age.wat matters is how does he really feel abt u,does he truely love u n not infatuated and is he matured in behaviour,if yes go ahead and also remember to pray n bring God into it bcos wt God all things are possible and if u are meant to be,nothing wil stop it.talk to ur mother abt him,if possible introduce him to her but dont say his age to her,see her reaction wen he meets him 1st.i wish u d best dearie
Eugenia
August 29, 2012 at 12:52 pmmake up ur mind. age does not matter. but your happiness matters.
brown sugar
August 29, 2012 at 12:55 pmOnome look age is jst a num ok if u r rily convinced dat dis guy truly loves u n u luv him too and he has d qualities u wnt in a man den I dnt see anytin stopin u 4rm datin dis guy or even marrying 4get wat pple might say no matter wat pple r bound 2 talk bt 1 tin I wud suggest u do is dat u make sure u dnt hide ur baby 4rm him n if he accepts 2 marry u n take d child as his den I tink u shud jst b wit him ok I wish u d very best in life cos I’m rily moved wit ur story takia of ursef
BB
August 29, 2012 at 1:01 pmOnome age is nothing but a number! if he truly loves u and he really wants to marry u? i say go ahead wit it, as long as it makes u both happy. really d most important thing here is ur happiness, go ahead and do wot really makes u happy! But in all of this mix pls put God first, pray abt it and if u find peace in ur heart abt marrying him then go rite ahead and marry him!
Also pls take out time to watch the movie – HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK! best wishes.
blaqpearl
August 29, 2012 at 1:02 pmDearie,pray about it and if you are sure,then follow your heart…my aunt is older than her husband and they have been married for 33yrs and their love is still waxing stronger…so dnt look at what people will say, if your love is true they will get used to it and stop talking about it….wishing you the very best…cheers
Mary omorode
August 29, 2012 at 1:08 pmjust go on wit him age does nt matter happiness matters in relationship nd always be prayful abt it.
ikeh esther
August 29, 2012 at 1:12 pmif he is ready 2 marry u go ahead and marry him, if u know u love him well ,and he love u , just be careful, be sure he really love u.
patrick
August 29, 2012 at 1:12 pmAge shouldn’t ßξ a problem. Judging from U̶̲̥̅̊я name I suppose Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ άrέ African, precisely Nigerian, S̶̲̥̅̊w̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ε̲̣̣̣̥†̥heart forget this ö̤̣̇ΰя useless African metality and enjoy Τ̣̣ђё beauty O̶̷̩̥̊͡ƒ L♥√ع. Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ can ask Mariah carey and Nick canon.
I wonder why this becomes a question when Τ̣̣ђё woman Į̸̸̨§ older than Τ̣̣ђё М̣̣̥̇̊ɑ̣̣̝̇̇п̥̥̲̣̣̣̥, when Îτ§ Τ̣̣ђё other way round everybody (even africans) seem iindifferent αвΘųτ it.
Onome L♥√ع Į̸̸̨§ a beautiful thing, and rear to find these days. One tiny advice, “grab U̶̲̥̅̊я chance with U̶̲̥̅̊я two hands.” All Τ̣̣ђё. Best.
Cathy
August 29, 2012 at 1:17 pmmy dear, you have to ask yourself some certain questions before venturing into something lifelong as this. Why would you want to hide something you cherish? The need to use your head and your heart is required here. Age as they say is just a number and doesn’t interfere, i pray you have the courage to choose wisely and ask for GOD’s guidance which is the ultimate. #remainblessed
sandra
August 29, 2012 at 1:20 pmYeah of course age doesn’t mata. Bt wat of 10yrs frm now,wen ur 43yrs and he s just 35yrs. Let’s hope he doesn’t start lukin at pretty lil girls in their 20s. Men r moved by wat they c even bornagains. Wish u al d best. Bt its a No for me.
fauzzy rex
August 29, 2012 at 2:41 pmdats another point,an important one.
uche
August 30, 2012 at 12:08 pm@sandra men marry women younger than them every day has that stopped them from cheating?
favour
August 29, 2012 at 1:24 pmmy dear, age is just a number ,love is what matters in marriage and remember he that wears the shoe knows where it pinches,follow your heart
Nenye Ann
August 29, 2012 at 1:24 pmif u truely luv him nd he luvs u 2, den go ahead nd marry him cos age hv nthn 2 do with marriage ok.Just trust in d Lord he will direct u. Wish u d best of all.
Melvin
August 29, 2012 at 1:26 pmur xperience is nt unique in d sense dat its nt new. Wat matters here is if u hv dis inner convictn in u n u guys are either compactible or complementary den age has notin 2 do wit it. But u nid 2 b sure of his stand n ensure dat he’s mature enof 2 b a man. I wish d vry best cos u deserve 2 b happy. God bless u
fauzzy rex
August 29, 2012 at 1:28 pmDear Onome, they say age is nothing but a number; but am afraid that is not applicable in Nigeria.u r right,people will definitely frown and talk. The whole decision lies on u and your man. but u need to know how serious he is about you and the relationship cos it wouldn’t look nice if after introducing him to your friends and family, it turns out that he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and believe me, u definitely wouldn’t feel nice about it.
Considering the fact that your partner is very much younger than you are,you must know that there is a tendency that at 25 he doesn’t really knw what he wants and he might not be bold enough to take it to the level u might want.his level of maturity has a big role to play in his decisions regarding d relationship.
when u r both sure of what you really want,then go ahead and be with him(in the right sense of the word)but before you do that, be ready to face your family,friends and all d gossips that will be pouring out. People must talk anyway,so y stop your happiness because of them? …wish u d best of luck!
Faith
August 29, 2012 at 1:28 pmAge is just a number urs is ok only if love have found favor in ur eyes, Go! ahead get the ring let him be ur husband pls be sure that he is very serious about ur relationship with him. Pls i hope you guys ll invite me to ur marriage ceremony?
mj
August 29, 2012 at 1:37 pmBabe in as much as age is a numbr sm cases it culd b a factor. Its easy 2 fal in love,bt is nt so easy 2 stay in love. Marriage is nt al abt hw u feel. I think 9yrs is 2 much,bcos @ sm point u might loose it,ladies gets more matured dan d guys do in evrythg. Dere’s a certain age 4rm 30 b4 most men starts c’g demselves as a man. U hv 2 tk hold on ur feel’gs,pray abt it & gv him sm time. He’s 2 young he might wnt 2 use u as a project,generatn of nw re vry disrespectful. Am talk’g 4rm experience.
gladys
August 29, 2012 at 1:43 pmAge is nothing but a number and some younger men and older women have gotten married and made something out of it but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look before you leap. You are obviously doing well on ur own and most of these young guys are looking for a babe who will meet all their needs while they play fine boys around town. You had 9 wonderful years with a man and death seperated that. Do not allow people to pressure you into jumping into a marriage you will regret. Take ur time and pray about it. Watch the guy closely. Don’t rush it. If u r sure,I say go for it.wish you the best
Vivian
August 29, 2012 at 1:44 pmWell, I am going with sandra. Everyone is looking at d now, what about ten yrs from now, would he still look you @ you d way he looks @ you now. He could realize dt u are 9 yrs older than him and feel he made a mistake, he may now want to take the easy way out which is DIVORCE. Remember women are always @ d receiving end. Think carefully b4 taking d leap, it’s important. My opinion, am going with d NO answer. I WISH THE BEST
Amarachi
August 29, 2012 at 1:50 pmAm touched by ur story; pls go ahead and accept him, dats if u r sure u love him and dat he s serious wit the relationship. age dosen’t matter here wat matters is dat u love each other. so go nd give ur mum d news cos she has long waited for this moment to come to pass in ur lif.
janny
August 29, 2012 at 1:56 pmWell to me onome I dnt like it at all bcos I feel he is just like a younger brother to u. Pls look for a matured man of 34 and above. Tanks
jossy
August 29, 2012 at 2:20 pmMr dear,on my own opinon I dnt approve of it looking at the age gap.And who is even sure the guy is out for marriage.I wl advice u knw exactly what he want before introducing him to anybody.Altho,he might claim to be serious wit marriage to exploit. I pray God deliver u before its late.
Samuel
August 29, 2012 at 2:30 pmI thank God for people like you that apply caution to this life. I am 47 now and I know there is a great difference between me of today and when I was 25. Your fears are genuine. Anybody telling you that age is just a number do not understand the issue here. What about your boy? What about the boy’s family? Please keep on waiting on God.
Ada Nnanna
August 29, 2012 at 2:31 pmOnome I say if u both r in luv wit each oda den go 4 it girl.but make sure d feeling is mutual so dat u don’t get disapointd in d long run.but Neva giv up on luv.gud luck.
temidayo jacobs
August 29, 2012 at 2:46 pmhey dear…wat matters 2 u now is where n with whom ur soul finds rest,peace n joy,age in dis case isn’t a barrier.
Sugar
August 29, 2012 at 2:59 pmPls my dear age is nt realy d matter al u need 2 kn if their is a mutul understanding btw d 2 of u.it takes more dan luv 2 hv a happy marriage.how does he react in most of ur argument wit him.if their has been any.can he also take dat child as his own.u realy need 2 pray over it
Gina
August 29, 2012 at 3:01 pmif he is willing to marry you inrespective of ur age, accept ur child as his, love, respect and act maturely and u on the other part wil respect him in return as ur husband and head of the home, then u guys can go ahead. afterall age is just a number. besides, u both can decide to kip that a secret to urslf. no body has to know! just follow ur @ dearie
Pam
August 29, 2012 at 3:05 pmNever let age be a barrier to your happiness. Enjoy ot while it last girl!
Maria
August 29, 2012 at 3:37 pmOne thing is for sure, people will look at him through your eyes… If you love and respect him, so will they. But if you are embarassed and ashamed of this age difference, i bet you no one will spare you.You have got just one life, live it to the fullest and be sure to offend no one.
Many women have married respecting the “rules and normes” (marrying older and well to do men) society imposes on us, yet failed to find understanding, love and happiness.
Debby
August 29, 2012 at 3:41 pmWell age is jst a number….my dear u can go on so far u guys love urselves.
claribell
August 29, 2012 at 3:50 pmPersonally, i would say u should go after your heart, because love is not about the age. In your case its more difficult, in the sense that you’re a woman and not the other way round. so i will advise you pray over it, and be convinced enough, and always remember that is not about you, its about you and him. if he truely excepts you despite the age difference , not just now but in many years to come, i will say Go Ahead…… Best of luck in your decisions!
claribell
August 29, 2012 at 3:53 pmPersonally, i would say u should go after your heart, because love is not about the age. In your case its more difficult, in the sense that you’re a woman and not the other way round. so i will advise you pray over it, and be convinced enough, and always remember that is not about you, its about you and him. if he truely accepts you despite the age difference , not just now but in many years to come, i will say Go Ahead…… Best of luck in your decisions!
Charles
August 29, 2012 at 3:58 pmMy dear, though age may not matter for many, yet issue is factor in African world and we cannot wish it away. Be sure that the way feel for this guy is the same way he feels for you. The guy may just be enjoying himself and when the time comes to realy stand with you on this marriage stuf, he may back off due to pressure from family & friends. I advise you be ceareful, prayerful and find your way now b/4 you suffer heartbreak.
Sylvanus Philip Segbe
August 29, 2012 at 4:19 pmMy dear, Follow your heart!! If u really love this guy, then introduce him to your Mum and make her understand what you feel for him. Do not give what people will say or think any attention coz it is your own life and its only you who will make it what you want. For me, the only person you need to convince if she raise any objection is your Mum. Let her understand why you want or will want to settle with the guy!! Also I think you must not continue refusing the invitation to your guy’s house. So far as you are comfortable meeting him in Hotels, do visit the house as well coz that will give you the opportunity to further access him!! Your further delay may get the guy questioning your seriousness………!! Settle with this guy if you are comfortable with him in whatever way! Do what you do what is good for you and not what pleases people. Remember, ” You will end up pleasing nobody if you want to please everybody”
Caca1luv
August 29, 2012 at 4:19 pmYs my dear, its a pure truth dt age is jus a numba bt we wil al agree dt in as much as its jus a numba, it also determines alot. My dear Onome, as simple & rampant as ur case has becm in 2dys world. It workd 4 oge shudnt be d rsn y u venture, so mny tyns u must hv 2 cnsida 4rm both ends b4 pickn a decission. (God & wisdom hs a part 2 play). U hv only claimd u luv him which i do nt kw if u truly do luv him, i unstood,goin by ur story dt u had been harsh 2 urslf against relationships only 2 loosn up cos of ur mums concern nd suggestion 4 a hapier lyf. There is possibility dt u ar nt in luv, rada bcos u hv been introvert in relationship 4 a while nd in a bid 2 break in2 extrovert world in d case of r/ships nd u happend 2 meet a guy who made it an easy one. U began 2 feel differnt nd tagd it luv nd 2 u, gud enough 4 marriage. (it jus might be luv) bt in d case of marriage wit dis teenage guy, cautions must be tkn. @ 25, he is still @ d early stage of his grooves. Am more particula on dis age nt on d 9yrs difference. My dear. U rly hv 2 find out if u luv dis guy nd enough 4 marriage nd nt jus an illusious believ ova ease u nw feel after breakn out of ur shell. Cos i believ in marriage a man hs gr8ta level of respect 2b accorded 2 him as a husband. So u hv 2 find out if u ar truly ready gv his guy all dt respect, tk orders 4rm him, nd go by his commands a husband. If u tink u cn be able 2 put up wit all dis even wen d thought of his age runs thru ur head in sm situations. Den, i wil nw hv 2 luk in2 his own ends. Rate his level of marturity, stp flaterin urslf wit d words in his text msgs, find out whom he rly is, his intensions nd aims. If u ar sure d 2 ends ar satified &genuine, den u cn go ahead, marry him nd hnd ova d key of ur marriage 2 d creator 4 directions nd 4 a peaceful marriage 4 no marrage under dis earth is witout lapses. None is perfect -GUD LUCK Onome
Uray
August 29, 2012 at 4:28 pmTalk is cheap, advise is easier given than practiced. Majority of the people here say age is nothing but a number … hmmm, I agree to an extent, but AGE is a definite factor where marriage and relationships are concerned.
If you are sure of yourself, you will not be seeking advise on this blog, the best advise is the one you give to yourself. If you can cope with your man giving you attitude, getting angry at every joke you make (‘cos he is insecure), him telling you you have drained him of his youth after any lovemaking, hitting on younger girls years from now etc, then you can go ahead. My point is, in as much as love is blind, make you try borrow someone else glasses take look this one. My friend is currently having a very bad experience and the age and she is just 3yrs older than her husband. Am just saying.
adelana tobi
August 29, 2012 at 4:29 pmIf you’ll take it from my own view,i have never seen where age difference is a barrier in love.if truly you are in love with him then give it a shot and care less what people will say about it,its your whole life ahead i think you know that…..
NENYE J
August 29, 2012 at 4:30 pmIn as much as age is a number, to me its important especially because 9 years is much. how would you feel in ten years. we ladies have the tendency to look older than guys our age. imagine when you are 44, approaching menopause and the guy is just warming up! then, he may start looking for girls his age or younger. my dear, think over it properly
loveth
August 29, 2012 at 4:37 pmMy dear, u have ur life to live. If u wil find happiness with him, why not go ahead and marry him, afteral d bible says two shall become one, it does’t matter who is d senior. And u have to go down on knees and pray 4 devine direction. I wish u luck.
Pamela
August 29, 2012 at 4:50 pmI feel you shouldn’t bother about your guy being 9yrs younger. People will always talk even if hez 1million years older than you, they’ll still talk.if that’s what’s your heart truly wants then go for it. Its a matter of the heart and not the age.
aguji
August 29, 2012 at 4:55 pmHahahahahahahahahahahaha. Very funny. Dont waste your time woman.you’ve already wasted some of it,shuting your heart to real love,beside you have waited this long,why jump upon the first. Oppurtunity,u need to find real love. His looks seems like what ure attracted to,plus he is geeting the boody on a regular ,he will tell u exactly what u need to hear.
sheena
August 29, 2012 at 5:16 pmMy dear if your love is real and pure the age shouldn’t be an obstacle…follow your heart it will never lie to you..and if your mother really love you , she will support you for she knows dat u been lonely for some times now..may God guide u in your decision..
prisca nnadison
August 29, 2012 at 5:27 pmMaturity is of d mind α̲̅πϑ nt of age.wat if he lied of his age dat he was older I Ω̴̩̩̩̥o U̶̲̥̅̊ wouldn’t post it out.nw go α̲̅πϑ tell mama dat he is a matured man,and mama will say bring him in.α̲̅πϑ also challenge God α̲̅πϑ he will reveal Ɣ☺ΰя̩̥̊ lov 2 u
Nkechi
August 29, 2012 at 5:32 pmyes,its very easy to advice age is a no,if u luv him,go 4 it blah blah blah. My sis.this is a decision u ve to be ready to embrace its fall outs and believe me there are plenty con.my advice is look for a guy within ur age bracket,fall in love wt and marry.dont dispitate ur energy and time on a 2/10 probability project.last yr,i got my self entangled in such sit. be wise
Rachael
August 29, 2012 at 5:45 pmPls lets be sincere here. If u’re the parents of the guy will u agree to this? Dis is not movie. This is real life. What happens in movies does not happen in real life. My advice to the lady is very simple…make sure the guy’s parents is in agreement with this first.
Akanbi Aderonke
August 29, 2012 at 6:19 pmƱ av 2 follow ur heart my dear Onome,age shld nt b a barrier.
ejiro
August 29, 2012 at 6:42 pmJesus christ categorically stated” without me,u can do notin” just take it all 2 God and I promise u’ll be @ peace with urself with any decision u make. #Godbless
Nony
August 29, 2012 at 7:56 pmOnome u actually know what u want; then go for it…. would u rather be with an older man and be treated badly or stay with a young guy who would care for U and treat u right? The choice is urs to make….
juliet
August 29, 2012 at 8:06 pmage is not a barrier 2 luv. if u trully luv dis man, nd u kno he wunt tak u 4 granted. st giv dis luv a try
chinazom
August 29, 2012 at 8:41 pmMy dear anyone telling you that age is just a number and not a factor in any relationship is not being truthful. What about other factors? Let me tell you, am currently dating a guy 2 yrs younger than me. I have two kids with my late husband. I am 30 but you will never know except I tell you. What I mean is that I look way younger than my age. If you see both of us you’d probably think he’s ma senior. My question to you is do you look younger or older? Because you have to bear in mind that if you do, the tendencies of him seeing you as an elder sister and not a girlfriend will be there, what of his maturity level? My dear there are so many things involved. Just pray to God to guide u. I pray about my case because another serious issue will be his people. May God guide people like us because its so disheartening finding love as a single mother. Good luck
Owen
August 29, 2012 at 11:17 pmDear Onome, i wud advice you like i wud a sister, pls don’t experiment with your feelings. Some guys can be sly, esp. when they kno d lady is desperate. Has it ever crossed ur mind dat maybe he might be a gigolo? Or imagine you re in his shoes, wat wud you be thinking and feeling. Perhaps u are nt STELLA and u may not enjoy after CATCHING dis GROOVE. Pls talk to mummy b4 bring him home. Tread carefully.
ormainy
August 29, 2012 at 11:29 pmDate him for a while n go with ur hrt
oyinkansola
August 30, 2012 at 9:30 amwow…….dis is a a serz one….if love him its ok..to continue dating him…
Chinasa
August 30, 2012 at 9:36 amAge is just a number. If he truly loves you and you’ve come to this realization, then go for it. But be sure he’s not going to dump you afterwords because of some family issues.
happiland fubara
August 30, 2012 at 10:30 amHonestly I think love is not enough in some cases.. Am not sure I can marry a woman nine years older than I am. Maybe he loves :u or so :u think but believe me.. Sooner or later it will be an issue in your relationship. I just hope it won’t be too late.
Nene
August 30, 2012 at 10:50 amMy dear Onome,if you like this guy, sit back and enjoy him to the fullest and leave marriage out of the whole affair. The fact is that 9yrs is much and you are not certain this guy really loves you that much to marry and stay with you even when you start aging.
Tyna
August 30, 2012 at 10:52 amHonestly age shouldn’t be a barrier to love because if we keep considering age then we should all get married to our age mate ,Be it a man or a woman…. if you love each other and he has accepted you the way you are then don’t consider the age unless you are not sure of how you feel for him. once love is involve, its conquers all… follow your heart my dear
uche
August 30, 2012 at 12:23 pmi understand your fears onome ,the society we live in plays an integral part in our everyday lives.yes people will frown,some will use as a topic for gossip some may even openly abuse you but the question is “what you feel for this young man is it worth all this trouble,is that relationship worth all the stigma that will be attached to i?” you need to do a soul search and if the answer to the question is “yes” then by all means go for it. you should be pysically and emotionally ready for it and know that as the years go by you have to workn extra hard to keep looking good for him,every choice in life has a price attached to it ,if you realise this and determine the price for your choice and you are willing to pay it then ill say good luck to you and in all sincerity wish you happiness bcos in the long run that is all that matters!!!
Babe
August 30, 2012 at 2:09 pmPls go ahead
Marlyn
August 30, 2012 at 3:52 pmOneme, I would suggest that you destroy that feeling for that young man.
At 34, some men out there would marry you, Everything is about ATTITUDE. I hope you have a good attitude if not, you would continue to search and search……
Dont get discourage. Its only in nigeria that marriage is a big deal. You have a son already.
Dont marry some1 of 25, Abeg help yourself now before they call you SUGER MUMMY
Bootylcious diva
August 30, 2012 at 7:04 pmHonestly think am having same problem ,younger men all over me ,I love dating older men ,but now I find myself around younger men .
Ingrid
August 30, 2012 at 7:58 pmI see you have several responses. I have one example for you, Movie producer Tim Robbins and actress Susan Sarandon were togwther for 23 years and have two boys as a result of that union. Now Susan is with a 30 something year ols at 65 years old. Be uathentic, consult with your own rules and personal guidelines for how you choose to live your life.
seun
August 30, 2012 at 10:35 pmMy dear,there r so many things u hv to look @mayb u jst feel u r in love bcos its bin a while u dated. Buh I ll advice u to b very careful especially if d guy is from nigeria bcos his people will neva b in support cos u hv a son already n also older than him. My frnd think twice
Treasure
August 31, 2012 at 6:11 ammy dear,love,understnding,endurance nd tolerance dats al u nid 2ve.age is no barrier.follow ur heart.nd talk 2God.
feyisetan timothy
August 31, 2012 at 8:42 amIts a DEADLOCK CASE. He can never marry u cos he’s been blindfolded by love at first sight cos he just started MINGLING n SOCIALIZING n he’s not MATURED yet, infact, u’re already a single parent. U chose him out of COVETOUSNESS cos he’s an heirs n wealthy. U urself knew its not LOVE but all abt being a BENEFICIARY by keeping him as ur BENEFACTOR. keep searching for ur rapure/calibre. Imagine urself as his mum n he brought home somebody like u, how would u, ur family n friends feel? Ur pastor will never approve such. RELEASE that boy cos u have IMPRISONED him, dont wait till his pple HARM/ARREST u
bibi
August 31, 2012 at 9:06 amat the end of the day, its only one who wears the shoe that know how best it fit…..all i can say is that, Do that which give you PEACE but be guided by God’s word, pray, sow seed, seek him on ur knees and he will respond to you.he is not far, the best answer lies in ur heart.only u can decide that!! Best wishes….
Teefah Rozay
August 31, 2012 at 9:17 amDear Onome,
If he is genuine about his feelings I say go for it, Life is way too short to be stressing over age. As long as neither of your of you have an issue with it, it’s all good.
what you need to ask yourself at 34 and him being 25 is the relationship sustainable? Is he ready to settle down? this Q should be asked with any relationship regardless of age.
Women that marry older men get cheated on, so it doesn’t follow.
Personally I don’t see anything wrong with being with and marrying a younger woman. Thankfully women these days take better care of themselves and a lot don’t even look their ages…so Onome carry go nothing do you.
All the best to u and great blog Mrs Linus 🙂
http://www.that1960chick.com
ugonwa
August 31, 2012 at 9:24 amAge is nothing but a number and maturity is all in the mind. your age diff is the same with some couples in my church and they have been married for over ten years. if u truly love him, u will not think of his age.
udose faith
August 31, 2012 at 11:16 ammy love, age is a number if u both luv urself go ahead and b hapi once again in lyf ok.
Ife
August 31, 2012 at 11:24 amHello Onome,
I can relate with your story cos the same scenario happened to me. But let me tell you the good news i am married now to the same guy am older than and we have the best relationship ever. Both of us thank God daily for bringing us together. We have the sweetest home worthy of envy. The age difference doesn’t even reflect cos i feel like a baby when am with my man. Sometimes we even joked about it with him telling me maybe my mama got my birthday wrong cos he his sure older that me…lol.
None of our family members knws our secret but someday they would when we celebrate 50 or 60 years and then it would be too late.
Needless to say, my mum almost cut our secret cos she keeps guessing that my “then” boyfriend seems younger than anyone have ever dated. But i never gave in and kept this a secret.
I can’t quantity the Joy we both experience when with eachother, we can’t bear to be apart for a day.
Onome, the road would be tough but if you guys are sure of your feelings for each other and your love is strong then i will say “carry go” God is in the midst of you cos HE IS LOVE!.
I wish i can be there for you and strengthen you with my experience on a personal basis.
Ciao
America;The land of the brave
September 1, 2012 at 2:07 amsimply forget it!
forget it!
You know how it works here!
THEY GET THE FUN, & WHEN THE EXCITEMENT COOLS DOWN, THEY FIND A MUCH YOUNGER WOMAN!
Lucy Lou
September 1, 2012 at 10:38 amIf he real loves you age is just numbers.I have travel a lot and I have met many couples who are in the same situation and they a totaly in love.Who said that the man should be alder than a woman.If he is mature he is a man.Age is just numbers if you love each other go ahead and get married.
By the way some guys are attracted to older women.So I will say take the chance.
Metche
September 3, 2012 at 6:01 pmI think the boy is not being sincere to you. To me I feel the guy is just trying to experiment dating an older lady. He might end up not marrying you, even if he married you after some years he will go for younger woman of his age except if he is really a child of God
I will advise you to be very careful and pray very well about it before you make up your mind.
Ishmel Tee Jr.
September 4, 2012 at 2:45 pmThis is my honest take on this issue just to help you make up your mind whiles falling in love with this guy you are nine years older than.I read a lot of people’s advice that age isn’t a factor, well is not in many ways depending on the maturity of the young man. If you should date for a while, and while’s enjoying each others company, you need to study your man to see if he can deal with you psychologically and physically, cos your beautiful body now will change to a more matured one, and do you think he can deal with these changes? Would he still appreciate you as he is doing now? I think you enjoy a good relationship with him but you should marry a matured man for the future sake.He may dump you for a much younger girl if he gets exposed to the world of sweet things out there. Just be careful sweetheart. ishmel T Jr.
onesirosan aburu newton
September 4, 2012 at 5:44 pmi believe LOVE is a strong word, if it really reside between u both, pls go ahead. I could remember in John 3:16 (For GOD so love the world). God never look at our age before he died for us. In as much the guy is above 18yrs and can man any woman. Pls go ahead and follow ur heart. A happy home,relationship is better than a broken marriage
Osei-Tutu
September 8, 2012 at 3:36 pmDear,
My issue is very simple. Is de foundation of de relationship with this guy based on GOD or SEX. She made mention of the fact that, they normally meet at a hotel, and I think its wrong. If really you guys love each other, then commit the relationship into GOD’s Hand and I assure you,if it is HIS will, then forget about the age gap between you two. Marriage is all about LOVE and UNDERSTANDING. God bless you and I wish you a happy relationship
LINK
September 14, 2012 at 11:21 amIn your case, you have to think this way. Your child before your love. The age is simply a number you can over come. If the person want you for life it will shown in the relationship he has with your child. All will be focus on your child. The more love in his heart for you will go unconditionally to your child. Moreover, try to come 5 years back in your look but not in your characters for the first 5 years of your relation. You would make him feel in a double way. He will feel to be with a mature woman who will protect him from harm and cherries him, what any guy is seeking for, and at the same time with a young sexy girl like others, he will not be ashamed. Do it in that way to strengthen your relation because, people will tall nonsense, it evident. He will be yours for forever if he is a really gentleman. While he reaches 30 going, you have to reduce your look and all at his age. It will be a continual fight for you. Take it as the great challenge of your life. He will get it and if he tells you to stop, carry on and above all keep showing him the great love you have for him. Keep him hot every time. It will work because it will be your secret. A woman who does not have a secret will never found love. If your mama says no or your parent says no, both take a bus and never come back. Nobody should still your happiness from you. Family is no more what it is long long time ago.
This is a very good topic for a book. If you can talk about more, I would be grateful.
Rissie
September 16, 2012 at 2:45 amMake sure you know very much God and he knows much more God…then it will work…do not compromise yourself for nothing, discern.
ola
September 17, 2012 at 1:03 pmI jst wnt u 2 b sure d guy has genuine feelings for u( naija guys,u know!). Personally,seek God’s face on ds matter,cos sincerely its a difficult one esp cos of d kind of society we find ourselves in.bt remember,only YOU can make YOU happy,if u can go for it despite all odds n u r convinced,den wat r u waitin for?ur decision shld b based on wat makes u happy nt wat pple wld say. People wld alwayz talk, cos talk is cheap….each storm comes wit its own blessings n evri1 has a story 2 tell,whether we whisper or yell……..All d best dear,G.B.U
blessing
September 28, 2012 at 9:57 amu have to take it to God becos he knows best and if God says yes who can say no.after Gods answer love him back life is short forget what people will say.but God is very ultimate in this decision.
Bee
October 2, 2012 at 1:07 pmWell Ms Onome, before you make any decision Can you please answer these questions(sincerely)? “Can you submit your ALL to Him”??????(Eph 5 vs 20-21). Will you ever regret marrying a younger man??? Will you stick with him as the HEAD of the house??? if your answer is in the affirmative, then you can make an informed choice which would be your prerogative. Remember,love is the foundation,you need other materials to build on that foundation. God’s speed.
nkem
October 4, 2012 at 3:51 pmyes,age doesnt matter,but it does,pls dont do it,bc it entails lots of rainy days u know,he may be inlove but 4 now,and ll let go after some time.but did he know u are more than him?if yes the you tink with ur head an not the heart