Blog Talk to Steph

He lied about his past!

Hello Stephanie,

First I want to say how much I love your blog. You are doing something really different here. Well done! I’ll like to share my story: I have been dating this man for a while now, exactly 9 months. After 2 months he introduced me to his family; I now have a close relationship with his mum – I come around to cook her meals, help with the laundry, and lots of chores, I also buy her stuff like I would buy my own mother. Last month we did our introduction and a lot of my relatives and friends were gushing with joy for me. They said I was lucky to find a man as wonderful as my husband-to-be. But something happened only a week after the introduction ceremony. I got a text message from someone who says she is his (my fiancé) ex-wife and they have a son together. I was so shocked, my hands were shaking! I showed the text to my fiancé, and for the first time he told me that yes he has a 5 year old son! But he claimed he was never married to the woman, she is only a baby mama. I have called the woman privately several times after then, and she says she can show me pictures of their traditional wedding. She now leaves in Ghana but says to prove him wrong she’d come to Nigeria to see me and show me evidence of their marriage. I confronted my mother-in-law to be, but she said they only had an elaborate introduction but not a wedding. She shared some of the issues that made her son (my fiancé) leave the woman; claims the woman is diabolical and was going to ruin her son (my fiancé) and so on.

I’m so confused. This family tried to hide a secret that I deserved to know for all of 9 months. I don’t know if I can ever trust him and his mum again. What should I do? Who should I believe? My family members think I should turn a deaf ear to it all and marry my man, only my elder brother is sceptical about it all. Please I need your advice. – Jacinta

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71 Comments

  • Reply
    okonji ify
    November 23, 2012 at 9:29 am

    I think you should play deaf ears to whatever she says,cos at this point she is tryin to ruin ur relationship with ur fiance and she will use every means to decieve cos she also wants him back.And also speak to ur fiance and he should give u reasons y it ended.if u really like him don’t lose him.

  • Reply
    omo
    November 23, 2012 at 9:32 am

    i think what you need is prayer’s right now. we all do make mistake, to forgive is divine. so pray about it and let God have a final say.

  • Reply
    Gemma
    November 23, 2012 at 9:37 am

    I think you shld give him a second chance cos nobody is above a mistake, he might av hidden it frm u for a reason. If u truly love him n u sure he loves u bak then forgive him and marry him.

  • Reply
    comfort
    November 23, 2012 at 9:41 am

    hello,

    i hard the same experience, i let that go and decided to marry him, just 2 month to our marriage he cheated on me again then i realize he will not change so it better i advise my self. please think twice, else you will be the second mother.

  • Reply
    Linda
    November 23, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Most Nigerian men are so into this secrecy of their life, waiting for the lady to have final commitment with them(wedding) so they can open up, with that you are trapped , no going back but to leave with it. My advice is run for your life cos I don’t think you will gain happiness , trust and honesty . Marriage is for better for worst.

  • Reply
    ohizemokhai vicdan
    November 23, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Well ur story is so sad but d truth is hw many of us can really discuss our past wit our financee. Secondly love is built on d found of trust nd sincerity d best thing u do nw is to discuss wit d lady I mean ur financee ex wife, get d truth of story if u can manage d situtation follow ur heart bcos LOVE is. L long suffering. O overcoming obstacle. V victory. E endurance. Goodluck

  • Reply
    Dennis
    November 23, 2012 at 9:42 am

    It’s hard to take it,but it’s also wise to give him some times to read the reason behind his being discreet… There could be an existing fear developed from human inferiority complex, once u expose urself u may likely chase away the treasure u dearly long to hold…. So basically it involves both neg/postv outcomes

  • Reply
    Nnamso
    November 23, 2012 at 9:42 am

    My sister, I really feel 4 you in this situation. But there is noting impossible with God, seek his face appropriately. I will suggest u get 2 meet that woman 2 really know the truth. Then confront your fiancee with the fact u will get from there God will direct you on the decision u should take.

  • Reply
    Victor Goz
    November 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

    I will advice you seek the face of God before making a decision,, but if. You were to be my sister I will surely see the ex wife if there is anything like a white wedding then am sorry is over but if its just what my hubby told me( just introduction) then I will advice you go ahead with your man. God will see you thru.

  • Reply
    zeebaby
    November 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

    As for me,I will tell u to go ahead and marry him,sheat happens if u leave him nw,hw are u sure abt d man next door,marry him and try and put everything behind u,am sure u felt betrayed bt thank God d woman show up earlier.may God guied us all

  • Reply
    nnadi
    November 23, 2012 at 9:47 am

    ​U̶̲̥̅̊ better look 4 ur own husband cos dat lady who have a child 4 him must cum bck to him 1 day. Even if ​U̶̲̥̅̊ maRry him now d trust as husband n wife won’t be der any more

  • Reply
    Pastor Nathaniel Gbollie
    November 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

    my dear sister,
    I to truthful in life is one of the element an individual need in order to become successful. I want to ask you, if someone tell you something is black and you are looking at the particular thing to be blue, what will you conclude about that individual? my sister, marriage is not for falsehood. A relationship that began with falsehood is not 100% safe because elements of deceive will always be in that relationship. I discover you are truly in love with this guy. my advice for you is try and investigate before going to the alter. Listen, you relatives will not choose life for you. if truly you are a child of God and fear Him, you know when you enter into marriage there is no way of looking back because if you do you disappoint God. Lastly, if you are born- again go in prayer and seek the direction of the God. When God created you He has purposes for you to fulfill, maybe He brought this circumstance to guide you think about it. Be patience. you can contact me on the above email or +2348067718245

  • Reply
    immaculate
    November 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

    My dear , so sorry for what happen to you, but I will advice you to ask your fiance whether he officially married the woman or did he divorced the woman, if yes that he has divorced the woman then let him show you the divorce paper, once you see it and you are satisfied, move on with the marriage, if he did not wed the woman in court, you are still lucky, move on with the marriage, don’t listen to third party because this type of case always happen. the only mistake your fiance did was hiding the issue from you for a long time. He should have let the cat out to you after all it is not a big deal. But all the same. Apply wisdom to it. Good luck

  • Reply
    Dammy
    November 23, 2012 at 9:52 am

    This isnt something u should just seek public opinion about. This is ur life and u should take it seriously. I agree he should have opened up but take ur time to find out the reason why he didnt say anything.Take time to listen, dont just assume. I believe u should pray to God…if he’s someone u want to spend the rest of ur life with, God has to be totally involved. If u believe, he is perfect will of God for u, then go ahead. Pray seriously and be sure of what u want to do,. You can also seek counsel and advice from ur pastor, let them advice u and join u in praying. I pray God shows u the right direction on what step to take. I wish u the best in life

  • Reply
    Ernestina Owusu Ansah
    November 23, 2012 at 9:55 am

    intrested story

  • Reply
    Ernestina Owusu Ansah
    November 23, 2012 at 9:57 am

    May God have mercy on men

  • Reply
    MIRACLE
    November 23, 2012 at 9:57 am

    the issue of keeping family behind for another marriage has being a common thing in our country, it happens, some people find out on their old age. my advice is: go ahead with the marriage, he loves u, he hide it from u cus he is afraid to loose u

  • Reply
    oluchukwu john Ani
    November 23, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Yeah i will go ahead and marry him if I,m d woman.reason is cos I luv him so much I I guess he must hv kept it away frm me cos he luv and cherish me so much and don’t want 2 loose me.tks I hope I got d answer.

  • Reply
    siben faison
    November 23, 2012 at 10:00 am

    my dear i feel your pain but i think that if your husband didn’t tell you its bc he was afraid of surely loosing you.i think u should not rush abt the issue cause the other lady may just be trying to ruin your marriage.pray hard and carryout your findings.if you discover they only had a child i will advice you go ahead and marry him for kids are only gifts from God.Wish you luck

  • Reply
    Olaoye adunola
    November 23, 2012 at 10:00 am

    If i were u i wont get married 2 d guy, wt mk u tink he’s nt hidding any tin 4rm u again, he shld ve told u d truth, cos he has 2 knw ur reaction towards it & if u’ll be pleased wit it. Anyway u can go 4 him if u truely luv him bt do u tink u can still trust him? My dear where there’s no trust there’s no luv. Think wisely & decide wt u wnt 4 urself.

  • Reply
    nneka
    November 23, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I think wat u need most now is prayers. If possible fast over it nd ask God to give u a sign if dis man s d person u’ll share ur life wt. As 4 d mother no blame @ all , may be u’re d type of lady she desire 4 her son nd she lks u. Ur food etc dtz y she don wnt her son to miss u. I ll rather do d same if I am D woman. Ur hubby to be 4gv him bc he has seen it all. Bst of luck!!!

  • Reply
    dreezy
    November 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Pls dnt tink of quiting the marige,may be his reasons of hidin dat iz becoz he dose ‘nt wnt u to have double mind in d marige dah waz y he avoided dat pls d man lvs u

  • Reply
    Frenchie
    November 23, 2012 at 10:09 am

    This is very confusing to say the least, how come nobody told you anything for 9 months? Try to remember did you ever ask him anything about his past?
    How cme you never come across any picture of his little boy? Doesn’t he call them sometimes?
    You better find out why he left the other woman, and why he never told you about them. Please don’t turn a deaf ear to this mess, this is your life, try to meet her and listen to her side of the story. Your elder brother might be able to help see through this. You don’t want to marry someone in a rush and later discover he is a psycho. Because 9 months courtship is kind of short. Good luck.

  • Reply
    Tolu
    November 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

    If he has done it before then he can do it again. Personally,I won’t advice u to go ahead with d relationship.Someday they’ll accuse u of being diabolic too.

  • Reply
    ComfyPearl
    November 23, 2012 at 10:12 am

    M̶̲̅Ɣ advice τ̲̅☺ Ɣ☺ΰ i̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ dat U̶̲̥̅̊ shld βε̲̣̣̣̥ wise. ☀̤̣̈̇f He cld lie τ̲̅☺ Ɣ☺ΰ about such a thing, I wonder wot oda things he’s lying τ̲̅☺ Ɣ☺ΰ about n wot things he wld keep secret from U̶̲̥̅̊ i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ў☺ΰЯ̩̥̊ future togeda. Dat woman who has a child foя̲̣̣̥ him, weda d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ were married or not, wld keep coming back n one D̶̲̥̅̊aγ̲̣̣̥ she wld want τ̲̅☺ ђåvε̲̣̣̣̥ her “man” back. I dnt think U̶̲̥̅̊ wld want τ̲̅☺ G̶̲̥̅o̶̲̥̅ into a marriage U̶̲̥̅̊ wld regret foя̲̣̣̥ †ЂΞ rest of ў☺ΰЯ̩̥̊ life. ў☺ΰЯ̩̥̊ deccision today wld affect ў☺ΰЯ̩̥̊ life tomr. Βε̲̣̣̣̥ wise!

  • Reply
    Olatunbosun ISRAEL
    November 23, 2012 at 10:14 am

    My dear sister, sum women can go to any lent to achieve dia aim, wen you met him, through out ur courtship he neva cheated on you, dat tells you he’s a gud man to be wit, definitely sumfin is nt right wit de oda woman. So i will advice to kip to ur man bt use wisdom to address de situation

  • Reply
    blessing
    November 23, 2012 at 10:16 am

    My dear,I would advise u don’t run into conclusions in a hurry,u can’t luv who u don’t trust but @ same time let him give u reasons for hiding it from u,men can be very funny u know. The best advise is to seek Gods face bcus d guy could still tell u lies. Take ur time,marriage is a life time thing very different from relationship.

  • Reply
    rockson
    November 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

    LOVE is like a erosion or stream, it main vision is to join the Ocean no matter what comes it way. Please there are a lot to come your way, people will throw refuse and garbage in your Love Stream, please chase your dream & follow your heart.

  • Reply
    Maurice Osmond
    November 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

    What matters is“dose he love you” he may have lied to cos of fear of losing you. If you realy love him go ahead with de marriage though he shuldnt have lied/ hid from you. 4give him

  • Reply
    kofoworola
    November 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Well,its a pathetic story bt i tink u shuld find out d truth 4rm d woman and at d same time,d reason behind ur man nt tellin u is dat he doesnt want to loose u cos he truely loves u.all i will say is pray 2 God am sure he will lead u tru.

  • Reply
    joy
    November 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

    just pray over it if actually d man is urs…u guys will get married despite all odds…pray God will help you overcome dis temptation.amen

  • Reply
    Abiodun
    November 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Hmm.. Dts a shot of an arrOw to the heart story.. But u knw what Jacinta? Did kind of story isn’t new.Such occurrence takes place at one moment or the other.THe fact that the man didn’t tell u abt hIs previous marital life doesn’t say he is a bad person.It cud be because he was afraid of losing u if he told u initially.. I’m very sure u know what I’m talking abt. Moroever,we all have made mistakes b4 and ds mistakes often time may debar us frm moving ahead in life. U need 2 ask urself some honest questions like..can I cope and live wt d knowledge dt he was once engaged wt a woman and already has a son? Is my love strong enough 2 pull thru ds? Etc. Above all,tHe decision is in your hands to take.. But whatever it is.. Listen to your heart…

  • Reply
    Model
    November 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    My dear,he’s not worth the fight. If he can hide this from u for 9months n lie abt his marriage t her then,he’ll still lie abt more serious issues in the future. Besides,hiding this from u is evident that he still have a spot for her in his heart.
    I advice that u prayer seriously over this n dnt rush t get married t him. I’m sure time ‘ll unveil more abt him t u. Be Wise sis!

  • Reply
    jackson
    November 23, 2012 at 10:41 am

    my sister turn a deaf ear to all u hear and marry ur man, u see does ghana woman they are so bad, i hard the same experience

  • Reply
    Austine A Okeke
    November 23, 2012 at 10:46 am

    My dear,many tins are still happering,pls, this is marriage we are talking about here,pls,seek God’s face,d ex-wife,she might come bk,but in life we al make mistakes,if you can pay d price,go ahead,but u need God’s approve. Nd find out what makes her 2 go,so it will not happen 2 you,may God see u true.amen.

    • Reply
      kazeem aderonke
      November 30, 2012 at 10:24 am

      If u can bear d pain u can go ahead wit the marriage but av in mind dat his love for his son wil not make u enjoy d marriage.Cos d woman would always be a pain in d neck

  • Reply
    christie
    November 23, 2012 at 10:46 am

    My dear..its very evident dt d woman is set 2 destroy ur impending marriage..
    1) She is no longer wit d man and has nt bin 4 more dan 3yrs so y contact you.if she isn’t plannin 2 reunite wit him,she may have decided 2 ruin d man and his happiness 4 wateva reasons she may have..its accepted dt d man did wrong by nt informing u..bt d lady has no right watsoeva 2 contact u.as a woman I ask dt u read inbetween d lines..I advise dt u seek d face of God 2 b @ Peace wit urself..

  • Reply
    Richard
    November 23, 2012 at 10:48 am

    My dear your story is the same thing to my story because I was once married and even has 9months old daughter and she run away with my properties and the girl family support her and I was left with nothing and now I start a new life but she want me back and showing people our wedding pictures. I didn’t disclose all my past to my new wife because I think she is gone for good but now she want to destroy me.I blame myself for hiding my past. Please call your man and let him tell you everything that happen between him and the other woman. And please forgive him and love him back. Maybe God want to use you to save his life please forgive him and marry him.

  • Reply
    Robert Paye
    November 23, 2012 at 10:52 am

    If i notice that my partner has done any thing like that i would profere to quit that relationship with that person because i do not encourage such a person in my life so that is my view in the question that was posted on facebook by you thanks and welome again

  • Reply
    itohan
    November 23, 2012 at 10:56 am

     wonder why U̶̲̥̅̊ are so disturbing urself abt the lady,she claims to ßƺ an ex_wife so?better hold Ūя̲̅ man strong and plan Fø̲̣̣я̅ the way forward.

  • Reply
    ȋ̝̊̅fŸ̲̣̣̣̥ onuoha
    November 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

    I will advice u follow ur heart cos most of the advice here may confuse u and u end up making the wrong choice ask God to speak to u

  • Reply
    itohan
    November 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

    And people let’s bear in mind here dat the husband to ßƺ never lied to her,he was only silent abt the situation and i guess that’s because he’s not proud of his past.

  • Reply
    patience ajumogobia bestman
    November 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

    I really want to ask you some questions if you don’t mind. (1) before entering this relationship that took you both to engagement leave, did you for once prayed about it? (2) Did you in any chance inform the pastors of you church? I want you to no that this owe thing is a conspiracy between your guy, his mum and the entire family, may be what happen is on hard off and they don’t want you to know about it, first and foremost if your guy truely love you as he claim, he would have told you every thing about himself whether bitter or sweet, it is then left for you to decide either to continue or back out, after all children are blessings from God and should be cherished, men pretend a lot just like women do, the ability for you to get a good, sincere, love able and God fearing one is by prayers, take you time involve your pastors so they can join you in praying, even if you can not hear from God they’ll, thank God it has not passed this stage, a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage, it is well with you. NO PLACE BETTER OH

  • Reply
    Ify
    November 23, 2012 at 11:25 am

    My dear, your fiance didnt do well. Mind you the woman in question (ex-wife) is still interested in your fiance, she wants to come back with her son, that’s why she wants you to be aware, there’s a connection between both of them (ex-wife and your fiance i.e the ‘SON’), so be careful, broken engagement is better better than a broken marriage. Be wise, Before Warn Is Before Armed!!!

  • Reply
    Kehinde victoria saka
    November 23, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Dnt go into marriage with him

  • Reply
    gina
    November 23, 2012 at 11:55 am

    as for me you arent gonna be the last dat will bear babies for him ,so my advice is for you to advice urself. my sis had same experience n at the end d man is still thinking of having the third wife now . so be wise

  • Reply
    Rejoice
    November 23, 2012 at 11:56 am

    This is issue is very controvetion,I am afraid to say,r u happy to have a father when u r a gal?,r u willing to marry a cheater?.I wld advise u to quit the relationship 4 the beta of ur future coz u will still face this.by the way how did she got ur number,search?.I see no serious

  • Reply
    omo fj
    November 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    I advise U stake 2 ur man, if d woman was a nice woman she would ve still been with him.don’t u watch movies? Plz just try and 4get abt d fact dat he lied.if i were U, i will tell d woman 2 bring d son so both of u can take care of him.she is just tryin 2 mke u feel bad.tell her dat u still love ur man,no mata wat.4rm francess

  • Reply
    TJ
    November 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    yes the man in question did not try at all but what i can say that if only the love for each other is still there and strong he might married even you and for get the ex-wife and just have his son back so just advice yourself

  • Reply
    Damsel
    November 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I quite understand ur plight, but i will advice you to be prayerful and dont be carried away.

  • Reply
    Raisa
    November 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    When someone show who they truly are believe them. Then again u need to listen to your spouse too, hear his side has to why he kept his past a secret to u nd remember everyone comes with a past maybe he do has a kid like he admitted to u but then again the story can be fake has the foolish mischievous woman dat called to tell u about her past. Nd has for his mom everybody wants wats best for their own who knws maybe he told his mom u knew already but wen she finds out she represnt her u from the woman who’s out to cause confusion between u nd yur future husband the devil never likes to lose nd he’s out to steal, ditroy nd kill. She is the past yu’re his future. You should fast nd pray about it nd God will direct yur path. I hope I help.

  • Reply
    Kuje
    November 23, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    I can deduce from what you said that they are probably now seperated and that could be why she relocated to Ghana? You may have to pause to find out the truth from both sides and close relations. Then prayerfully decide since you love him and he and the mother inlaw love you.

  • Reply
    winnie
    November 23, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Listen,introduction is not a type of marriage in Nigeria but traditional marriage is and it needs to be disolved in a customary court for it to be over.ask for d divorce papers and move on with ur life,regardless of d advice u get d point is u are d one who will live wit dis man for d rest of ur life,its ur decision.

  • Reply
    osas ov
    November 23, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    i think if u should take d advice of ur family i think d man will also do the same thing dat he did to d other woman to u just pray to God to lead u and see u through plsssssssssssssss

  • Reply
    Doris
    November 23, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Good day, My advice to you is that the man is not your rightful husband. whether you believe it or not, he is married to another woman with a son. So the home belong to that first woman, it is written one wife, one man. not one man and two wives. Call upon the lord for your own man and bed undified. Tell the man to go and settle with that woman, whether she is diabolical or not the man is commited.I know is painful, ask God to give you the grace.

  • Reply
    Nekky
    November 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    My dear,continue d marriage if both of really love each other.Also,always put it in prayers.

  • Reply
    Modo fosca
    November 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    My dear,don’t leave that chance go ahead nd marry ur husband, that woman is only the mother of the kid does she has that marriage certificate to saw the world she is married to the guy at the altar
    plz no time if u real love your man marry him

  • Reply
    olisa
    November 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Take a break from anything concerning the relationship then pray and the answers you search for will unfold. Don’t act under pressure.

  • Reply
    JOB ALI
    November 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Y re u angry,nd y must he tell u? Abeg countun wit life abeg,free de man waitin dn happun dn hapun.

  • Reply
    Vivtoria Oluwasesan
    November 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I beg you in Jesus name pls don’t go ahead with that marraige or you might live the rest of your life to regret this my cancellor befor I got married will say a broken coutship is better than a broken marriage, that moda in law is a weaked woman and yorubas will say the cane wey they use flog the first wife dey ontop celling wey they go still use flog the second wife, just thank God you knew before it has been late. Don’t worry God will give you your own husband.

  • Reply
    kenechi
    November 23, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    My dear please run for your dear life. It has already started with falsehood. Who knows what would be the second step. Telling you about his son and his first marriage or baby mama would have been the first thing he would have done.Whether baby mama or not. Now he claimed he never married the woman, his mum said they had elaborate introduction (whatever that means), the woman said they had traditional marriage. Who is saying the truth here? If he had told you about his son and this woman before you found out you wouldn’t have bothered. The very first day i met my husband was the day he told me he had two kids with a white lady.(they have since divorced). That is marriage, everything is made open, no secrecy. I had a friend who had a fiance, her fiance was about to pay bride price when she found out he had a daughter from a lady whom he had never mentioned even during thier one year of courtship. How did she find out? The baby mama contacted her. And what happened, she ran for her dear life. Now she is happily married to another man. Wait for another man, good things don’t finish.

  • Reply
    Austine A Okeke
    November 23, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    Plz,my dear,is not going 2 be that easy at al,but. God of heaven will make a way 4 you,my dear,goodluck ooo

  • Reply
    Mr Aboh
    November 24, 2012 at 12:35 am

    We all have past, I think the only mistake ur man did here is leting u find out this way. He should have open up, and if u love him sincerly you will marry him. But he is afraid of losing u, pls don’t listen to the ex-girl. Forgive him and u will see God will bless ur union. Thanks.

  • Reply
    Carchi
    November 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    This is serious, but not hopeless. Would hav preferred he opened up from d beginning but yet it doesnt really guarantee anything. switheart weigh d consequences, seek God’s intervention and dont loose hope. All d best, praying for u!

  • Reply
    Ethel ofosu
    November 26, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    i will just have to forgive him for the seek of our strong love for each other and go on with our marriage becos u will nt knw wht the other man can do.

  • Reply
    racheal
    November 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

    For me I think its jst a short yle
    U guys met and dis is unvailing u shld be happy cos God is involved in ur case @least He made ur fiance’s ex wife to come up wit such gist.If u love ur man pray ova it go ahead bt b4 u do dat make sure u settle woteva issue wit his ex wife.We all do have a past and am 90percent sure u also do hav a past ur keeping away 4rm him jst 4giv him so he’ll also 4giv u weneva he finds out abt ur own past.Go ahead Gods got ur back.

  • Reply
    racheal
    November 27, 2012 at 10:29 am

    On d 2nd tot I asked myself,y r gals so into marriage dis day a lot of gals won’t let me rest on bbm puttin up dia engagement ring as dp asif its a do or die affair.my dear there’s no hurry in life especially wen its marriage,marriage is not 2mins instant noodles,u guys jst met 4 9months and dis is already unvailing,If I were u I’ll take my time b4 I marry him 9mnths aint enuf 4 u to deal wit such man wit dis ish give urself time and also giv d man time so u guys will knw wot u r doing most importantly involve God in it,Its marriage my dear not cock nd bull story.Pray my dear pray am sure God will tlk to u or show u signs if u shld go ahead,

  • Reply
    Faustina
    November 27, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    one should not hide something as serious as having a child or having been married because this is something that will finally come out no matter what.dis is not a decision anyone can make for you. first,u need to find out the whole truth to the gist.normally before marriage both parents make investigations of the proposed daughter/son inlaw and their backgrounds b4 agreeing to the marriage.again,how did ur fiance react when u found out?is he sorry?do u love him enough to 4giv him?…only u can decide.gudluck.

  • Reply
    Delphine Bisike
    November 28, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Take your time to find out if he is actually married to her or not. if they are married then you will only be trespassing if you go on with him. But if they are not married but just have a baby, then tell her to steer clear and get on with your marriage plans, she is just a spoiler.

  • Reply
    Neah Ruth
    November 30, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Put on your sneakers and run as fast as you can and never look back. And thank God that it has only been 9 months and not 9 years. You deserve to be loved in truth and you deserve a whole lot better! A 5 y.o. son is a big deal married or not and if he can hide this, what else can he hide. Run baby run…and don’t look back. Learn from this and live your best life!

  • Reply
    Netama
    December 13, 2012 at 7:37 am

    My advice is you stay away from him and his family, when you going to have kids and can no longer help your mother inlow with her laundry and other chores she will surely accuse you of being disobedient too.

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