Thanks Steph for your intelligence in solving emotional problems. I am in deep pains. I just wedded 6 months back. One month to my wedding, my husband was duped and lost every dime he had. By the grace of God and my family’s assistance, we were able to conclude the marriage. He was living in the family house and after the problem, he had no money to relocate to another house for us to live. Currently, I am seriously hurt as my mother-in-law and brother-in-law accuse me of being the reason for his misfortune, that I’ve diverted his whole attention to me and made him a woman wrapper. They use abusive words on me despite all my efforts to carry on with responsibilities he was shouldering. I receive lots of humiliation from my in-laws and torture.
Aunty Steph, please do you think it is wise for us to raise money anyhow and pack out or should I hold on to see if they will still realize their fault and stop their ugly acts on me. My husband is a very nice man but the mother and brother are seeing me as evil. I am dying in pains. Aunty Steph, please what do I do?
I received the above emotional email from a lady who is in a lot of pain about the situation in her marriage. She is newly wedded and passing through a difficult time. Having pressures from in-laws is not a comfortable situation for anyone. My most important word of advice to you dear is to PRAY. Pray, pray and then pray some more. God sees everything and has the solutions to your problems.
Secondly, living with in-laws especially for a newly wedded couple is not really advisable. You and your husband need space to bond together as husband and wife and make decisions for yourselves. I understand that it’s difficult with the financial constraints and I pray that God will make a way for you soon in that regard.
Stay strong and look on to God.
SL
*Kindly give your advice to this lady in the comments section.
22 Comments
Olayinka Akindele
November 13, 2014 at 3:01 pmIts a pleasant to have u here for the youth out there.
Michael
November 13, 2014 at 3:05 pmthe reason she’s experiencing such humiliation is because she is living with the in-law. I can imagination how emotionally she’s unrest. and how unstable her mind could be right now. my advice for her and the husband that they should move out from the in-laws house and go and get a place of their own, even though it’s one room apartment. it is better to leave in a hole in peace than to leave in a palace full of war.
she should not retaliate with words or anything but she should commit those in-laws judgement to God, who always judge right. she shouldn’t hate anyone and should not try or plan to pay them back with evil no matter how small it is. she should thank God for everything and in all things because one thing is certain, and that is, all those challenges start from somewhere, which means it has a beginning ,and anything that has beginning must surely have an end. and it will all at the end turn out for good of all.
so they should borrow if they don’t have money on them to get at least a room apartment. they should start from there and have their minds at rest so they can at least concentrate on other project or plan they might have and from their God in his mercy will be gracious to them as we all always look upon Him for help when we cry to Him
precious
November 13, 2014 at 3:55 pmam a widow and above forty, no job no money to train my children. can u be of help, though am a professional nanny with two decades experience. just assistance i need for a job.
GOD Bless.
P.
suzzan
November 13, 2014 at 4:17 pmI would advice d young lady 2 live d house with her husband 4 d in-laws just 2 secure a last marriage 4 her & also 4 all 2 b happy with her in d sense dey should look 2 money 2 get accommodation even if its not a bigger 1 @least a roof 2 lay on & 2 b free frm d insults frm her in-laws..
Tony Ocheni
November 13, 2014 at 4:47 pmU’re and u’re husband should move out and get ur own place. Even ur own parents will get tired of u if u over depend on them at a certain age
Iwuanyanwu Vivian
November 13, 2014 at 5:56 pmFirstly my advice to the newly wedded couples is to pray cos there is nothing impossible for God to handle and secondly I will have to commend the woman for standing behind her husband in all his trials and tribulations and she should believe in him and remember that no condition is permanent.Also as for her in laws torment she should ignore it, be strong and work hard to find a solution pertaining on the house issues so that she and her husband would have their own privacy from that way she will be better and stronger.
Ruth
November 13, 2014 at 7:11 pmBros borrowing s nt d best solution. Wat if dey borrow n den d person starts demanding 4 d money wen dey are not yet balanced?
Peter
November 13, 2014 at 10:12 pmTrust in God and pray more about it. Also try 2 source 4 money and rent an apartment so dat u can have a little peace. And wit time ur joy and peace will be full. God bless u.
JOHN K AWADZI
November 14, 2014 at 11:36 amAm very happy for your massage.
Every one have to believe in GOD and you will be saved
Kathian
November 13, 2014 at 11:09 pmHello I feel really sorry with you lady, co u see the in laws can harasse you and mistreat you, talk all heaven and earth on you wen u don’t even stay wth them or near them how about you staying wth them am so sorry but my advice to you is bt prayful always ask god what you want surely u will overcome it and without knowing u will find urself in your own place, you are newly married and u need all the time with your husband, u left your parents home and family to start your new family to have your own home, dia don’t loose hope everything will come to end God knows why things are the way they are don’t worry the power of prayer works, stick to your husband and surely u will be happy in your own home. Praying for you aister
theapanist
November 14, 2014 at 3:55 amtake everything to God in prayers. He alone will secure your future. Men are human and can be bizarres at times, it happens, but stay strong and work hard to prove them wrong.
geraldine chinenye
November 14, 2014 at 7:42 amIts really bad 4 dat lady i do feel ha pains now bt jst hope in God nd b petient god wil visit u soon,aunty steph i realy dnt kn hw 2 tlk 2 u pls can i cal u 4 a few words am a fan of urs nd u re really my mentor wil b glad 2 hear frm u tnks…
John
November 14, 2014 at 7:44 amThis Type Of Predicaments Is Realy Hurtful Espcially Now That You Are Surpose To Enjoy Your Newly Wedded Man. I Share In Your Grief And Suggest You Get Your Own House…. That Is The First Step To Live In Harmony With Yourself And Your Hubby. Trust God For A Way Out And You Will Smile Into A Happy Family Life. TAKE CARE!
Agbegha Benedicta
November 14, 2014 at 8:30 amPrayer is the solution to all problems but as you do so,it is advisable to take bold steps to.Living with parents-in-law is rather a pathetic one.They tend to interfer in your private matters.Even the in-laws that like you and are good to you will sometimes bother you let alone the though ones.So my dear,pack out n look for a small apartment to start with and continue from there.It is well.
Priscilla
November 14, 2014 at 11:39 amThis lady and her husband really need space.They should pack out or their marriage will tear apart,constant prayers is also required. May God be your helper in times of this troubles
Juliet
November 14, 2014 at 11:51 amAs we all know, marriage is an institution ordained by God and anything ordained is a good thing, and our adversary the Devil doesn’t like anything good especially for the people disturbing him (Christians). First of all, you as the lady don’t u have any knowledge of a vocational trade you learnt while you were younger, or has your husband tried applying for any job? try any of these and back it up with prayer. I know there are times when you will be tired of praying, then you try praise God cos God loves praises, if you pray to God, He will send His angels but if you praise Him, He will come down Himself from above to inhabit in your praise.
You really need to get something doing so that you can raise money to get another apartment you don’t expect other people to help you all through with the accommodation when you are idle.
You and your husband need a private time together to enable you establish a bond between you two. I pray that God will crown your efforts will success and he will bless the works of your hands.
Take care!!
Racheal Laye Edward
November 15, 2014 at 9:02 amPray and then Move out of your in laws’ house…. There’s nothing like your own.
God will see u thru
decosings
November 18, 2014 at 3:03 pmI don’t know why pple will not respect the biblical injection which states that ‘what God has joined together let no man put asunder’ yet the parents and parents inlaws will still not obey.
sugar
January 6, 2015 at 8:16 amthe lady should pray,hand over everything to God and believe and have faith,pray,pray,pray again and then pray again,God will surely answer her,don’t fight with your in-laws,don’t insult anyone,your quite ness will win them over,that was how st monica ,mother of st augustine,won over her mother in law,by her,humility,and patience,so u see,no be today some mother in law wahala start,just bear it,everything would be fyn.
Nwide Obum
January 7, 2015 at 7:17 amThe same thing,is applicable to my cousin,until he moved out of his family house with his family,peace was restored. So,my dear you should please have a bedroom discussion with your husband,tell him to find another house,so that you people will move out,and also pray to God to come your aid. It is well
Nsikakabasi
January 8, 2015 at 10:36 amIt’s never easy,there is a God of divine favor.packing is not the way throu,every thing has its own purpose.see the positive side of this accurance and trust me ur eyes would be open to the posibility behind all the actions.and mind u God would never give u wht u can’t handle.we r in our 21 days prayer in Dunamis.lets pray together.
nike
January 14, 2015 at 4:16 pmHi aunty steph, am in a relationship of 3yrs bt my guy is still nt showing sign of seriousness nd any time I try to walk out, he comes begging nd showing seriousness for the time nd later change again. He does not call nor show sign of caring. If am with him he does as if I shouldn’t leave bt immediately I leave, he does nt look back.if he travel, he does not check up on me.pls I need ur help if to leave cos am nt getting any younger. Any time I talk about settling down n, he keep saying he is nt ready nd yet he wnt allow me walk out.