Dear Steph,I met this guy a few months ago and we started dating shortly after. I told him I was a virgin and he was very happy about it, saying it was good of me to keep my virginity and he was going to respect my wishes to abstain from sex until marriage.
However, three weeks ago, he invited me to come spend the night at his place. When I refused, he suddenly became angry and hasn’t spoken to me ever since. He doesn’t pick my calls or reply my messages anymore. I’m confused now and I miss him so much. Do you think I should spend the night with him? I don’t know what he wants.
I’m 19 years-old.
Let’s jump in with some good advice SL Fabz.
19 Comments
Temple
December 17, 2013 at 11:12 amIf you trust his intentions, you can go. The guy might just be like me who respects the “you” in you
faith
December 17, 2013 at 11:32 amMy dear,dnt play with fire o. Dnt ever think of sleeping over
faith
December 17, 2013 at 11:49 amMy dear,if he really love u he will not ask you for it,he should understand your reasons for not spending d night…..so please dnt allow your emotions to control you n please dnt be affad to los him becos u will never los wat is yours trust me….dnt spend the night till after marriage….becos if anything should happen you would not belive d out come of it….dese same person that calm to love you can reject you tomorrow…so think dear
Lisa
December 17, 2013 at 11:57 amWell if ur ready to get de flowered by him nw , u can go but if nt, use ur head. If ur worth waiting for he would wait. Don’t be deceived my dear.
Beni
December 17, 2013 at 12:02 pmGoin 2 spend a nite in a guys place is nt ideal.d guy might hav gd intention bt been in close proximity wit Him all tru d nite will result 2 wat u cnt change
Abiri Ufuoma
December 17, 2013 at 12:06 pmIf u r nt sur of his intentns,dn lt him go.myt b hard bt u wl gt ova it.besyds u stil young,dnt do wt u myt regret.focus on getn ur future settld.
ada
December 17, 2013 at 12:09 pmRun!!! run!!! run!!!! as fast as your feet can carry you. At this age you have a lot of possitive things to occupy your time. He will surely come looking for you if he is genuienly in love . I was once in your shoes and I was able to bewail my virginity with the man I love and who respects me in return – my husband. Spending a night with this guy pre-maritally will not make him love you better, but will expose you to a lot of temptations. It pays to keep your virginity dear. Goodluck. MY ADVISE
elizabeth uzomah
December 17, 2013 at 12:14 pmIf he love u he should understand with u nd be a good frnd nt looking for something he will get
nugirl
December 17, 2013 at 12:35 pmDon’t even think of it! Run! He’s only after one thing. If he really loves you he will wait until you’re ready. End the relationship sharp sharp before you regret losing your virginity to a selfish idiot. Wait for that man who loves you enough to respect your wishes.
wada sunday omale
December 17, 2013 at 12:51 pmIf he really loves you as he proclaims why must he be upset over your refusal to spent a night with him? The best thing for you is maintaining virginity for your right man. This guy has ulterior motive and the moment you get there to spend a night with him he will get what he wants and throw you aside.
precious chidinma mbachu
December 17, 2013 at 3:16 pmIf u want to keep it till marriage don’t spend d night or even stay with him in a hidden place or behind close doors. If u los him u will get urs buh if u los ur virginity u will neva get it bac. Think wisely
Oliviasandra
December 17, 2013 at 3:18 pmLike temple said, if you *trust him* you can go. Guys can be cunning, at the same time can respect your decisions if they want to. For me, i feel the guy got angry that after all he told you, u could still doubt him. Still, guys are not always meant to be trusted fully. My advice is that if she knows his house, she can go apologize and sort things out, but be cautious by going with someone, if he behaves maturely fine, if not then you know what to do.
Racheal Edward
December 17, 2013 at 3:28 pmMayb his anger is not about ur coming. Send a message to him wanting to know the reason for his anger. If that fails, let him go. But spending the night wit him should neva be part of ur options. If all fails pls let him go n keep ur dignity wit u. A better man will come
Immaculate
December 17, 2013 at 7:53 pmPlease don’t even think of passing a night in his house, if you try it, bet me, he will rape you.
wunmi
December 17, 2013 at 9:28 pmSpendind d 9t is not a gud idea bcos anytin can happen n u wont be able to resist him due to d fact dat both of u are alone. My dear u r still young, if u dont let go of d gud, d better ll nt come so dnt be afraid to let go of him. Ur virginity is ur pride so keep it.
Candy Rex
December 17, 2013 at 9:53 pmdearie, first, i must tell you that your decision to keep your virginity is a very wise one; one you’ll never regret. second, if you must keep it you must be ready to push your emotions aside. this is because most guys will use your emotions against you just to get under your skirts. you don’t need guys who put up attitude simply because you don’t want sex. please, do not worry about losing him. always believe you’ll never lose whats yours. do not make yourself vulnerable by spending the night with him. your virginity is something you cannot afford to gamble with. once lost, its lost forever. finally, whatever you decide to do, be sure its ‘what you want’.
Nnebedum Nkiru bravery
December 18, 2013 at 5:20 amM̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ D̲̅ε̲̣̣̣ǎ̜̣̍® don’t even go there, Run as fast as u can, keep U̶̲̥̅̊я virginity, ℓ̊Ƨ̷̜̩̌̋ U̶̲̥̅̊я pride, the right guy will come, U̶̲̥̅̊я major concern now should be on U̶̲̥̅̊я education, future & career, put that guy aside cos u are too young to face emotional wreck. At the right time, the right guy will come & do the right thing. But in all activities put God 1st He’ll direct U̶̲̥̅̊я part. All the best.
NJIRA AUDU DINSHE
December 21, 2013 at 8:33 amIf a man or a woman is in love with the other, it will not be easy to just run away because somebody is advising so. If you run, the heart will not run away. It will even be more hurting emotionally.
The best way I think is to invite him with love and wisdom to a neutral location and talk things out together. And at 19yrs I assume you are still with your parents. Would the be happy if they heard that you went to spend a night with a man that you are not yet married to? This where parental guidance is important.
Thank you!
Arc.Din.
hypergirl
January 26, 2014 at 1:16 pmGirl if u know d guy cant control himself dont go.i passed a nit wif my guy we never had sex but i made him confortable,cos he knows how to control himself..only an educated guy wud understand a girl..