In the wake of our last ‘Talk To Steph’ post where a 19 year-old girl was asking for advice on spending a night in her boyfriend’s house (click here if you missed it), I find the need to share with you some signs to know if a guy is just using you.
Ladies, you deserve better and you should start considering opting out of a relationship if you notice any of these signs below:
1. You Pay Every Time You Go Out
Even though the guy is supposed to pay in the beginning, you constantly find yourself paying for every single thing when you two go out. Does that seem to be the case with your relationship? That’s definitely one of the top signs he is using you. While it’s okay to split the bill, you shouldn’t constantly be pulling your wallet out to pay all of the time.
2. He’s Only Available When He Needs Something from You
What about his availability? Do you constantly find that he isn’t available unless he needs something from you? This is definitely a sign he is using you girls. After all, don’t you want a guy that is going to be available when you need him to? Not just when he needs you?
3. You Are His Convenience
Are you constantly finding yourself his convenience for a ride or for an ‘allowance’? That should never be the case when you are in a mature relationship ladies! Everything should be even, you should never be someones ‘convenience’.
4. He Tells You Everything you Want to Hear but Doesn’t Show You the Things he Says
Actions speak louder than words, so if he’s just filling you up with charming and charismatic words without proving what he says is true, its time to move on.
5. He Doesn’t Need You for Anything but Things That He Needs
Does your boyfriend not take into account your needs? Maybe it’d be nice once in a while for him to pick you up, instead of you constantly picking him up. Does he not take any of your needs into account when he makes decisions? It’s a sign girls.
6. He Never Takes You Out in Public
Dating especially at its early stages should not be done in secret unless there are extreme circumstances. Your partner should feel comfortable being seen with you no matter the time or day. However if he insists on a private relationship, you know that it will be doomed sooner or later.
7. He Never Goes through with Your Plans
If a man is interested in getting to know you, he will put in every effort in order to see you and get the chance to talk to you. Therefore if you notice that your partner doesn’t seem to care about spending time together, his relationship with you may be due to an alternate motive.
8. He Doesn’t Plan on Introducing You to Friends Or Family
We all know that the next step in a serious relationship is meeting the friends and the family. However if your partner never comes around to it and keeps changing the subject, you know that he doesn’t see a future nor does he plan it with you. If he doesn’t take the relationship seriously, he will have no intention of bringing you into his inner circle.
Ladies, if you see any of these signs he is using you, it isn’t a healthy relationship.
So SL Fabz, have you ever been in a relationship that had any of these signs he is using you?
Righteous UkpongDecember 20, 2013 at 6:27 pm
You are very correct, all your point here are nothing but the truth.
geoffrey gitauDecember 20, 2013 at 6:27 pm
actually datz very true …and if ur woman/man keeps on postponing things u had planed
wunmiDecember 20, 2013 at 9:41 pm
My last relationship had 4 of these signs and i was foolishly in love thank God its over nw.
Nnebedum Nkiru braveryDecember 21, 2013 at 12:21 am
Well said Steph. Tnx for the candid advice. I’ll be on M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ heels once I notice any of these signs. Remain Blessed.
adratsadiqDecember 22, 2013 at 3:40 am
The problem with ladies.they dont knw wat they want thats why they are used n dumped all the time…thanx God,I love mywife