Blog Talk to Steph

Not Again!… — Talk To Steph–


Mimi wrote

A friend of mine has been dating this guy and he has asked her to marry him and she has agreed. The issue here is that she has aborted twice for him and now she’s pregnant and he’s still insisting that she abort it cos he’s not financially ready. What should she do at this present time cos there’s another guy whose ready to marry her right now. Thanks

Let’s give some advice for this concerned friend


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  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 4:31 am

    Good answer,
    Time to move on babe, dump that guy. RIGHT NOW!!!!

  • Reply
    kiseka hasfa
    August 10, 2013 at 4:36 am

    beg this new guy to allow give birth frst and ask him if he can be with achild thats not his…..
    from there see what happens

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 4:50 am

    You know what? Too many ladies these days are so worried about getting married. They’re so desperate to have a ring on their finger. Marriage is a LIFE-TIME commitment. It’s not a joke, it’s not a movie or a play ground. Many people do not understand this, and that’s why there’s such a humungous rate of divorce in our generation.

    First of all, I do not agree with premarital sex. Second, you get pregnant and then you abort not once, but twice and then you make the same mistake the third time.

    Look, it’s your life and your choices. Nobody is forcing you to marry him and that does not mean that you should jump into marrying the other guy because ‘he’s ready to marry you’. What does that even mean? He wants to marry you, but do you love him? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Is he the kind of person you want to be a father to your children or a grandfather to your grandchildren. Do you see yourself with either of these two guys in 10-20 years from now? Do you have any plans?

    BTW, why are you even talking about a second guy when there’s a guy who has asked you to marry him? You are supposed to be in a relationship with one guy, so how come there’s another guy who has gotten to the stage of proposing marriage to you also already?

    I think you are confused, not about which guy to ‘choose’ but you don’t even know where you stand in life. Is this about the innocent child or about you or the guys? There’s a much big universe out there than the 4 of you. Take a break from all this drama and get your priorities straight. Then make your decision. Please do not abort this 3rd child.

    P.S. I am a female.


  • Reply
    lutaaya frank
    August 10, 2013 at 4:50 am

    It seems the girl loves the guy those he poor interms of money,bt only God knows where 2 give u & where 2 take away so let them be together they will work and remember abort’g is a crime 2 God.

  • Reply
    samuel collins
    August 10, 2013 at 5:09 am

    She had the first, the second the guy call for an abortino then why did she go ahead for the third pregnancy? she’s the cause of every thing she’s the reason why the guy is calling of abortion because he might be thinking that she wants to forse him to marry her. Well as for me she shouldn’t abort this third child because she don’t know if this abortion can lead to her childlesness. As for the guy, he dosn’t want to marry her. I advise her to dump the guy & look for some one else. As for the current guy that want to marry her, the question is “did she love the guy? For now she should be thinking of how to deliver the baby whom we don’t know might be a ruler of a country or continet or even the world before she should be thinking of marriage. Thanks

  • Reply
    favour Garvin
    August 10, 2013 at 6:17 am

    The guy she is dating now, is unfaithfull, not real, a child and obviously not a man. He has promised to marry her why did he impregnate her again for the 3rd time, I think he doesn’t truly love her he wants to destroy her, its wrong for her to abort the child, she has to keep it and face reality if the guy can’t marry her now, she should leave him, cos if she is waiting for the guy to have money, he will never have it, its just given stupid excuses trust me I know cos I am a guy.

  • Reply
    esther ugbomah
    August 10, 2013 at 6:31 am

    Babe quickly pack ur baggages and run dnt walk becos dat guy is dangerous. He does not love u a bit. Don’t b disappointed dat there is anoda chick out dere. If there is someone else who is ready to accept u. Please and please go for him but just be careful

  • Reply
    Nakubulwa Aisha
    August 10, 2013 at 6:34 am

    The guy is just using your friend. Am advising her not to go in for that marriage coz
    1. she will never have children of her own but remember in life having a child is every woman’s wish.
    2. I think that guy has something he wants from that lady and he thinks can easily get it after getting the woman’s trust.

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 6:56 am

    She should knw dat d guy dosent love her, if he does since he already proposed t d girl he wil accept d pregnancy, I wouldn’t advice d girl t abort the preg cos I don’t support that she should carry the baby.

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:01 am

    Lots of ideas av actually been misplaced by our very own generation, amidst of which z dis particular issue. First,we all knw wat lies @ stake wen dere z an abortion or not. Secondly, ur man z nt ready 2 b a Father cos of his finances,wld e not av headed str8 2 d tree of money to pluck if dere were a Tree. Only God can bless man accordinglyand in due time cos ur man z only proposing wen God can actually dispose. Lastly,y wld u b lukn out elsewhere 4 marriage if u actuallybelieve in ur man?. My point here z I dnt tink u shld marry sumbdy else cos u r pregnant nd ur man znt ready, neither will I advise u 2 abort d pregnancy. @ dis point,wit my lil wisdom of tins,i only tink e shld allow u av d baby nd b opfull 4 a better future 2geda if u really love eachoda. Money will def cum in its own time. No condition z permanent. Wish u alll d best in life.

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:06 am

    Ready to marry her right now with the other guys pregnancy? Mimi this you friend is alway in ready “state ” always.
    Advise, let her get a padlock and use it to pad her you know where, she is in “desperatemode” and obviously not thinking straight nor clearly, she should apply the brake and reevaluate her life, purpose and not be a marriage douche.
    Ever ready battery.
    She will keep hurting herself if she does not stop, and for all the guys around her, will keep using her as a breathing blanket, girl get a grip on Your self and life, life is more than a dick.

  • Reply
    Anasthesia @babyhoneystasia
    August 10, 2013 at 8:06 am

    First sorry 4 d trauma u re going through.walk up 2 d second man dat wants 2 marry u nd tell him d situation on ground.he mite luv u very much dat he won’t gv marrying u a second tot despite d iSsue on ground.but if he refuses 2 listen 2 u bcus of d issue on ground,den gather urself nd deliver ur baby wit or without any of dem.(Is like dis 2day but 2morrow will b beta)as for ur first luv he is a future killer stay away 4rm him.

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:22 am

    No responsible man will encourage the killing of his own baby. It happened for the first, second and now the third time. Such a person, definitely, should not be a lady’s first choice in marriage.

  • Reply
    Muhammed Usman
    August 10, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Let her instead of keeping d pregnancy and see his reaction to dat, if is nt agreed to it he will never mary u even u spent 20yars with him it will contiue disway

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:55 am

    I don’t think she shld abort it yet again, cos it might be dangerous for her health. Cos if she does and dey get married and after 3years she’s not able to conceive,once under pressure from his folks to give dem grand children things will go bad. Meanwhile if d oda guy is ready to accept her and her baby den its best for her.

  • Reply
    Abiri Ufuoma
    August 10, 2013 at 10:48 am

    Seriously,nt again.once beatn,twice shy.pls,u dnt nid a soothsayer 2 tel u anyth n i believe u kn read d handwriting on d wal.4 cryn out loud,ur guy wl neva b financialy ready in anytym soon,so i advice u 2 kip d pregnancy.also,if d oda guy u said wants 2 marry u realy luvs n u do in return,n is also wiln 2 take kae of d child,pls acept him.most importantly,dnt 4gt d plce of prayerz.

  • Reply
    Abiri Ufuoma
    August 10, 2013 at 10:54 am

    It’s rily sad dat tins lyk ds stil hapen.any guy dat sugests 2 his lady 2 abort a preg 4 wateva reasn,most esp of dis crap of a tin dat he doesnt v money,wil do d same ova n ova’s d same tin wt a married man who tins r nt movin on wel wt him financialy,goes on impregnating his wife wn dy v 4 childrn,dy kant evn cater 4.pls,let us al wisen up.lastly,dear Mimi,i believe u knw wt 2 do.

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 11:46 am


  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Dear Mimi, tell ur friend three words: don’t try it! She has had two abortions already and its her life she is putting on d line. If this guy loves her, he wouldn’t readily risk her life on dt “financial stability” jargon. All she has going for her right now is her dignity n dt dude shld man up n take responsibility for his action.

  • Reply
    Nnebedum Nkiru bravery
    August 10, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Good morning Steph, trust u had a lovely night rest? Glory be unto the Lo⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥®D̲̅. Let me start by saying the post ℓ̊Ƨ̷̜̩̌̋ incomplete cos our concerned friend didn’t tell us if the awaiting guy ℓ̊Ƨ̷̜̩̌̋ aware she ℓ̊Ƨ̷̜̩̌̋ pregnant & still want to marry her. If he loves u enough to marry u not withstanding U̶̲̥̅̊я condition, then what are u waiting for? Go ahead & marry him. I won’t advice u to get rid of the baby just to pleas him cos moro if things turn around, he might use it against u. I won’t blame u for being pregnant but since the 1st, 2nd has happened & should’ve taken a precaution knowing fully well that U̶̲̥̅̊я guy aint ready yet & if u try to tie him down with pregnancy, u’ll hate that marriage in future. So do urself a favour by sitting down in a quiet environment & ask urself if U̶̲̥̅̊я ready to be a single mum,2ndly, are u яeady to face whatever comes out of the marriage if u end up forcing the 1st guy against his wish, 3rdly, Do u luv the other guy enough to marry him or his just an option. Honestly am short of words as to advice but whatever U̶̲̥̅̊я doing don’t hurt that innocent baby ok? Tnx & take care.

  • Reply
    therese bright
    August 10, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    my dear no matter what dont terminate the pregnancy ok think of this if that baby in ur womb is the last child u gonna have cos u have aborted twice.
    for the sake of that baby in ur womb accept some one who will take care of u and ur baby.aborting twice for the other guy is already too much.think twice no matter what dont terminate the pregnancy one never know u mite lost ur life in the process even though i dnt pray for that,

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    I really appreciate the love and care u guys have shown to me and my friend concerning this issue. My friend and I are really grateful for your advice and comments and may God grant y’all your heart desires. Amen. I also want to extend ma gratitude to Mrs Linus may God bless your home. Thanks once again

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    I really appreciate the love and care u guys have shown to me and my friend concerning this issue. We’ve gone through and we are really grateful for your advice and comments and may God grant y’all your heart desires. Amen. I also want to extend ma gratitude to Mrs Linus may God bless your home. Thanks once again

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    jeez……she shld jux not try to abort d baby. for cryin out loud, d third child. helloooooo. and for dat asshole she shouldnt marry biko

  • Reply
    August 10, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    Personally, I dont think you should be with either of them. I dont know either of them so i apologise if it sounds judgemental, but the situation in my opinion calls for this. In terms of the current boyfriend I don’t know any man who would have a woman that he loves and intends to marry abort 3 of their children, even one is too much. So your friend needs to re-evaluate her relationship and figure out if this guy really cares for her and plans to marry her. I would also suggest that she keeps the child. Just because you have a child with a man does not mean you have to be together or married. I mean that would be great in situation were both parties are on the same page, but if not it is okay. I wouldnt advice rushing to get married to someone else for whatever reason. First, figure out how you want to handle your current situation before anything. After that you can spend time with this guy or other men to figure out if he or they fit into your life and that of your child, you dont want to rush in and rush out. you want a clear mind and good understanding of what you and your partner want going into a marriage. Trust me it may prevent more heartache that is already in place, don’t make things more complicated than it already is.

  • Reply
    Mr Fred
    August 11, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    Nobody seem to notice d apparent recklessness, irresponsibility and poor decision making of d gal in question?!
    Wat on earth is she gettin pregnant for on 3 occasions?! Hasn’t she eva hrd of contraceptive (assuming her and her boyfriend don’t lik condoms) any gal hu is old enof to consent to sex shuld kno all de is to kno abt it including preg prevention mechanisms.
    Y’all av also decided to ignore d fact dat she’s been going out wit two guys, wch maybe one of d reason her boyfriend 1 has refused her carryin d baby. She’s an accident waitin to happen and needs to put her lyf in order esp wit regards to her self worth and ofcos no one wil com out here to advice to abort and I’m nt abt to do so.

    • Reply
      R Let
      September 25, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      u have a point here Fred but lets assume she is ignorant of all these and like most girls inlove, takes the guy for his words and just believe he will marry her as he says? i have witnessed such and i know it happens. as for the other boyfriend, she hasnt specified whether she has been dating the two at once or not, all she says is that he wants her for a wife too. lets be realistic, it does happen

  • Reply
    R Let
    September 25, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    my dear men’s words are like dust, once the wind blows, it takes it off. he says he will marry u… sure but if i were u, i would jubilate when he does so. he has made u abort many times and u obeyed him, lets call that ignorance: this time, u just have to keep it, not for him but for urself. i have seen women who shed their brains off in the name of tears just for one past abortion so dear thank God for this new pregnancy, it might be ur last. and for the other guy who equally wants to marry u, mind u, he is equally a man and if he trully loves u, he will accept u and ur baby if only the father of the child doenst marry u as he promises. so please DONT DO IT

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