Blog Talk to Steph

My parents do not love me!

Dear Stephanie,

For as long as I can remember, my mother favours my sister above me. I am two years older and I have never had a close relationship with my sister because my mother treats her special as if she is made of gold, and I of bronze! My sister excelled better in school because she was never made to do domestic chores like me. I would sweep, clean and wash while my mother would send my sister on fancy errands. This has affected me throughout my life and even pushed me to ask my father if I was really their daughter. My sister runs a good business and also got married last month and my mother would not stop singing her praise and making me feel worthless. Nothing seems to work out for me and it is driving me deep into depression. I am 31 and I am just tired of living! – Amaka

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Hey Amaka, I trust that, in one way or another, the comments that will come in will help you through this phase in your life. My people, let’s give Amaka some good advice. Your comments are appreciated!

 

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80 Comments

  • Reply
    kikky
    August 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Hello amaka,I feel ur pain so much,I think you should sit ur mum down nd ask her why she treats u so bad,go on ur kneels,cry nd beg her for wotever you might av done knowingly and unknwoingly to deserver such treatment. I pray nd hope this works out…..in the meantime,take it easy on urself

    • Reply
      Boitumelo
      August 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

      Take heart God will give you joy soon.

  • Reply
    suzzy
    August 27, 2012 at 10:06 am

    First, I want 2 tank steph 4 given us dis medium 2 exchange ideals. To amaka I want 2 tell u first dat d Lord is ur strength. Then u also hav 2 call ur mother and ask her if u are her child and why is she treatin u lik dis. U need 2 tink less and make good use of ur time on earth, u are not gettin any younger. Don’t let any tin pull u down. I wish u all d best

  • Reply
    Pat
    August 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Dear Amaka. What does not brek u will make u stronger. I feel u should waken up to the challenge & show to ur mum dat u ar nt d never do well she has always thought u 2 be. Instead of wallowing in self pity. There are things we need 2 do 4 ourselves dat will make pple around us admire & respect us.

    • Reply
      Abutu CCN
      August 27, 2012 at 10:58 am

      My dear Amy am so sorry for the way you have been matrited by your parents.but I want to tell you that you can be seen as the best if only you will apply this in your life starting from today alway show love to your mum. Be hardworking face the future with brave heart.and be GOD fearing you will see that your pals will call you one of the best if not the best soon.

  • Reply
    Brownsuga
    August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

    I think Amaka should just grow up already! At 31, why is she still seeking Mummy’s approval? I know it must have been tough growing up being the least favorite child, but in my opinion, she was handed the necessary tools for making it big in life. So please, put the past behind and be the WOMAN that you are meant to be and not a whinny baby! #ToughLove

  • Reply
    Emmanuel
    August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Hey Amaka……Write this boldly, paste it on your wall and read it every morning…..I am in competition with no one…… I run my own race…….. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone, in any way, shape, or form……. I just aim to improve, to be better than I was before………. That’s me and I’m free…..I will help improve your low-self esteem!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply
    Nenye
    August 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

    Honey, don’t cry, smile cos I just wanna tell u d truth, d only thing u need now is self esteem and dat is what u like, stop concentrating on ur sis and focus on ur dreams, just move on and pretend u are competing with no one, then and only then will u succeed

  • Reply
    Delight
    August 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Amaka,
    The secret ingredient to love is:YOU. How do you see yourself. You are beautiful in and out. I know it’s hard when ones parents shows favour to one child to the detriment of the other. But, I would personally be so glad if I see you pick yourself up, stare at the mirror and appreciate that person looking back at you. You have made it this far means you are a strong woman. Don’t let what anyone says about u to make or mar you, what’s important is God loves you much more that you can ever think, ask or imagine. Henceforth, I want you to everyday tell yourself You are somebody special and You love you. Once you start living in that realization and work in it, people around you will notice the confidence you have in you and will also fall in love with you too. Take it one day at a time. Fall in love with yourself first, take yourself out, call some friends and show them love and you will get love in return. Whether mom falls in love with you or not, in time when she realizes that you have bloomed, she will do a come-back. Above all, rest assured in God that He loves you and He can teach you through His Spirit to love yourself and others whether they show you love or not.

    Much Love,

    Delight.

  • Reply
    barbara
    August 27, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Dear Amaka, feeling depressed would always make you loose it. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in the likeness of God. Take up the challenge and prove to the world that you can make it through Christ that strengthens you. Read your bible and believe His word concerning you. Love and appreciate yourself, you will do more than you ever imagined. Smile more and speak positivity to yourself. Your Prince charming would meet you sooner than you think. Stay blessed.

  • Reply
    St Jude
    August 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Thanks steph..Amaka, The Love of God supercist ALL. Stay glue to the Word of God and pray ur way through.if there is something your parents can’t tell out to you, the word of God is going to make it known to you..Remember there is nothing a man possess that is everlasting Only God..find your way to God and he will reveal the deep things Unto to you..

  • Reply
    Ugonwa
    August 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Amaka, depression is from the pit of hell, u nid to kick out of it. Have u eva heard that ‘the stones the builders rejected became the CHIEF corner stone”? U will make it in life and they wld want to reckon with u. My mother almost brot that thing up btw myself and my older sister but i kicked against it and she neva tried it.If it is possible, shut down on wot they r doing or saying that makes u depressed or u might as well move out of the house…..Abraham had to move out of his Fathers house to become wot God wanted him to be. I will suggest that you go for counselling in your local church n i pray that God will speak to u through them. Am sure u r as preety as your name implies, we love u, God loves u more ..(Hugs)

  • Reply
    Angela
    August 27, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Amaka, the best u can do for ur self is to try and leave dat house for ur future cos I know for sure dat once u start doing well ur mum will run back to u.

  • Reply
    Eugenia
    August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Amaka d first thing is to surrender ur life to christ. then love and believe in yourself. d Lord is ur strength

  • Reply
    CHRISTIANA WILLIAM
    August 27, 2012 at 10:34 am

    AMAKA, U R IN D RIGHT POSITION TO DECIDE WHAT HAPPEN IN UR LIFE AT THIS AGE. GO OUT THERE MIX UP WITH FRIEND, UR APPEARANCE WILL ATRACT SUITORS TO U. READ UR BIBLE N U WILL HV REASONS TO SMILE AGAIN. GOODLUCK…

  • Reply
    Constance
    August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

    My dear Amaka,

    Everything God created is perfect and you are not an exception. I want you to know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made and you belong to God. Having known this, put all your trust in God and not in your mum. Re-position your mindset on what God is set to do in your life knowing that God has a future and purpose for your life and nothing, I say nothing, not even your mother will stand on your way of success. It is well with you.

  • Reply
    sade
    August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

    Dear Amaka, you have allowed your mother to define your life, because you let her opinion affect you. No one is better than you unless you allow them to feel better than you. Please from now say to your self you are what you say you are not what anyone says you are. Start by looking inside of you. Find that thing you love to do n you are good at n start building on it. Change your mindset, that is renew your mind n keep telling yourself nobody is better than u. Trust God in everything. Its only your opinion that matters now n what God thinks of you.

  • Reply
    Mrs Kemi Nwanne.
    August 27, 2012 at 10:42 am

    I believe something must have happend wayback when u were a child dat’s making ur mum behave d way she’s does. But, my advice to u is that u should seek to please ONLY GOD, &every other thing will fall in place. IT IS WELL DEAR.

  • Reply
    olabisi
    August 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Amaka,life nd death are in the power of ur tongue speak life 2 ur situation dear.you are who GOD says ur her not wat ur parent says.start saying wat u who ur life 2 be nd it will turn out just right dear.change ur mindset nd ur view abt urself.

  • Reply
    Eila
    August 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

    hi dear, u dot need to be sad or depressed. there’s something unique about evrey human, find that thing that is unique about u n do it. there must be sometin that makes u happy do it go out there mix up with pple be free n v an open mind. above all ask God to give u d Grace. call ur mom sit her down n politely let her know h u feel. all the best n cheers.

  • Reply
    cleopatra
    August 27, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Amaka, the truth that many people don’t understand until it becomes too late is that, the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. My dear, the winners stand out bcos everytime they come before a wall,the look for a door in that wall that leads to the next room. They don’t give up! You think what you’re going through is a problem? Why don’t u take it as an opportunity to discover God’s solution for ur life….The time has come for you to discover yourself and your purpose in this life. Like someone said above, you’re in a competition with no one. Set goals for yourself, be determined and do your best to reach them. You’re not alone my dear, God loves you and is always with you. Here are some words of comfort from the bible. Psalm 30:5, philippians 4:6, matt 28:30 and psalm 27….stay blessed!

  • Reply
    Sarah Abraham
    August 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Personally I don’t think you have any issues.The fact that your Mum does not treat you well does not mean you should sit down and wallow in self pity,the situation should make you say to yourself that no matter what you will succeed in life.This does not define your destiny and it shouldn’t thwart it either.I want you to take a look at yourself in the mirror and say you can deliver despite all odds.Remember nobody can bring you down without your consent.think about it

  • Reply
    joseph
    August 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

    dear amaka,you just have to be your self,at this point of time you need God most,go on you kneels in prayer for God intervention,it’s well my sister

  • Reply
    kelvin
    August 27, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Hey amaka. God bless u real gud..same tin hapen to david in d bible. Bt God keep d best for d last..u r a great woman dnt forget dat.it not all abt parence. It’s all abt God’s love in ur life. God blss u n encourage u deeply even wen u need him most he will b der for u allways amen.. Notin will kill wat God has for u.u r a great woman n soon u will knw..b full of grace n colour.

    • Reply
      POSH
      August 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      I† happened †☺ Joseph too.

  • Reply
    amaka
    August 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

    hi amaka i can feel wht u feel, but u need to get up , tk gd care of urslef, look gd , study harder and mk ur papers. b4 u knw it, i ll surely become who and wht ever u wnt to be.

  • Reply
    blossom
    August 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Mmmmmh! Amaka ur story is pathetic, but i want you to look unto God the author and finisher of our faith, God is able to turn every sad moments into a glorious joy. Although i understand how you feel do not let bitterness occupy ur heart, your parents may love ur younger sister,pamper her,provide the best for her there by making her to excel than you, but God is able to turn a dry leaf in to green one he has done great and mighty things would he stop in ur time? Do you know how the world was created? What about the sun,moon,stars and indeed the clouds in its beauty? the fact that your parent love and pamper your sister or for her getting married before you the elder one does not make her a special child the special child is you because you are trained in domestic activities you can cook very well, wash well and do other things which your sister may not find it easy doing and by the time you get married your home will be heaven on earth cause you would manage your home well. And i want you to know people who would be great passes through terrible trial and persecutions and if they persist the bound will be loose! again i say to you you’re a SPECAIL person to the look of things you’re even greater than that your sister; hold on to God it is well with you.

  • Reply
    Regy
    August 27, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Amy pls cheer up bc i know d Lord is on ur side an will start making things posible to u bc i know u are looking up to HIM right now. Remember u hv only one life to live, dont allow ur mom or family to live it for u. Get up and do something positive for urself that will prove ur mom wrong.Our GOD is able.It is well.

  • Reply
    Diana
    August 27, 2012 at 11:02 am

    Amaka. I only have one question dear, if mum doesn’t show you love do you show her love? God is love. The easyest way to over come all of this apart from praying and asking God for wisdom is showing her love. All the love possible don’t confront her about anything, when the time is right she will talk to you about how she feels. In our tradition in Africa is rude to confront parents about anything like that, so please don’t.

  • Reply
    Vera Uche
    August 27, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Hi Amaka, I feel your pain but I want you to remember Jebezi, He’s was that everybody see him as a bad omen both the parent and people around. but when He turns to God, his story changed for good….dont hate your mother ok, show her love, surrender yourself totally to God who is your creator….cos right in your mothers womb God has given you a name…..you are created for a purpose ok…..so please dont allow that purpose to die becos of something you can hand over to God….please forget about your mother attitude to your sister….if possible relocate and start a new life in a new environment…and as you relocate my dear, be prayer and knw why you left home. by the time angel of FAVOUR LOCATES YOU, go back to your mum and shower her with gifts and see how she will receive and welcome you. May God help you dear

  • Reply
    loveth
    August 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Dear amaka, I really felt your pain but u have to take things easy on urself. Go on ur kneels and pray, I believe God wil take control.take care.

  • Reply
    Toba
    August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Rejection is terrible, no matter who is rejecting whom. When rejection comes from a parent, it is a doubly bitter pill – these are the people who gave you life, and on whom you have depended all your life. Yet, there are times when you cannot deny that you feel rejected by one or both parents, for any and all sorts of reasons.
    The best thing you need to do is approach your parent and respectfully clarify the issue. Most of the time it’s NOT WHAT YOU SAY but HOW YOU SAY IT that matters more. You have to have the courage, the right words and the self- control to not be too emotional. Tell your parent the following: I feel like you resent/reject me (site some instances when you felt this way), I want to know if I am right about it. If so, then I want to know why you behave that way towards me. What can we do together to make things better for us? The key here is openness, respect and self-control, otherwise this conversation will turn into an ugly, fiery argument. Do NOT harm yourself or anyone else! It won’t help you, if anything, it’ll make things worse!

  • Reply
    HarmonyAkuh
    August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Amaka, the first thing you should do is to LOVE yourself, be yourself, admire yourself and above all trust in GOD. What you are passing through is a mere challenge, you shouldn’t let that to distract or weigh you down. You can do something, you can work, engage yourself in a business, learn hand-work, etc.
    I want to leave you with this, ‘do not underrate God’s purpose in your life. You can make it. Laugh it out.

  • Reply
    victoria
    August 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Hi Amaka,I feel U̶̲̥̅̊r̶̲̥̅̊ pain but u know wat smile cos Jesus loves u.its his love we really need,don’t concentrate on U̶̲̥̅̊r̶̲̥̅̊ mom and sis.but look within u,coz u av great potentials.love u girl

  • Reply
    ijeoma ede
    August 27, 2012 at 11:52 am

    Hi Amaka, I don’t tink ur mum hates u but if u feel so u shld v a heart to heart talk with her. D domestic chores she sends u as far as am concerned is a training for u in disguise cos like u said she sends ur sis on FANCY chores.u might see it as hatred but its not cos my dear wat dosent kill u makes u stronger. As for ur mum singing ur sisters praised don’t worry she’ll also sing urs too

  • Reply
    Nkeasi Joan
    August 27, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Dear Amaka, the Bible says if God is with us then nobody can be against us and that we are created in the image and likeness of God so if God loves you then there is no need saying that you see no reason to live. God loves you so much and he knows why your mother is behaving like that so pray hard for him to soften your mothers heart towards you. in every family a mother has one person that she likes most so that should not surprise you and thank God because she is instead preparing you for a bright and wonderful life because you will have enough lessons already to cope be it in your marital home or in your business.

  • Reply
    timi
    August 27, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Amaka dear,U̶̲̥̅̊ need to change ur mindset. U̶̲̥̅̊ must start to see and talk right about urself. See the positive side of life and bring out d best even in dis situation. Certain things happen to U̶̲̥̅̊ in life to prepare U̶̲̥̅̊ for the future,so brace up and refuse to be a VICTIM but a VICTOR.

  • Reply
    tracy
    August 27, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Amy,just know dat you are who you are and your mothers opinion dont count. Just leave evrythin to God and beleve in yourself, foucs on your dreams and do the things dat makes you happy, beleve me God will surely see u through.

  • Reply
    Debola
    August 27, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Hi Amaka,first I want you to know γφυ are not created a second best.I would suggest you go to the lord in prayers before γφυ speak with your parents.rejection Ȋ̝̊̅§ such a horrible feeling I know,but γφυ should love youself for who γφυ are and hold on to †ђξ promise of God dat says he knew us before we were conceived in our mothers womb and he also said his plans and thoughts towards us is to give us an expected end.be of good faith God will surprise γφυ soon.

    • Reply
      OnuohaEsther
      August 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      My dear Amaka,life throws us different challenges to make us fall or lose focus of God’s purpose For our lives.plz do not give up or give in.God’s thoughts for u re of good n not evil to give u a hope n a future-an expected end.be digent in all u find urself doin irrespective of other pple’s achievements being rubbed in ur face,urs shall b greater.also don’t blame others for ur situation,they re human n will fail u but God never will.that u can trust.lots of love

  • Reply
    dabond
    August 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Ummm I don’t know much about hate or dislike but I know if someone has shown me anything lyk ur “so called” mom has shown u for 31yrs I’d be way over them by now. Ur 31, ur independent and ur destiny and happiness are in God’s and ur own hands… Step out with faith and try to find happiness in urself and maybe one day… Ur mother will realise her foolishness. Stay strong

  • Reply
    funke solaja
    August 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Hi amaka, I understand what u are going thru but I want u to know dat the way u see urself dats the way pple will see u. Pls I will like u to take all these off ur mind and Face the future with a brave heart.@ 31 u are no more a baby ask Jesus to be ur comforter and help. Do you know dat u are actually the best cos u know how to do a lot of things,u are actually the kind of woman every responsible man will want to have under his roof. My dear ur future is bright just take ur self out of low self esteem, God is in control

  • Reply
    Issuesoflife
    August 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    My dear, there is nothing that is news about you to God. Have ever heard of COUNTING YOUR BLESSINGS?

    The picture I see shows a beautiful, lovely and unique lady though you’re crying, if you were laughing oh goodness you would look nothing less than a million dollars 🙂

    It doesn’t matter if your sister is more appreciated than you are in the family, it doesn’t matter if she is married and you’re not YET! God has plans and timing for everyone.

    Marriage is not the beginning of fulfilling your God-designed destiny. It doesn’t matter who loves you or who doesn’t what matters is that God loves you beyond measure and he is the designer of your life.

    Don’t stay wallowing in misery and despair, work on yourself confidence, develop yourself, each time you wake up speak positively to your self, speak the blessing of God to your life, EXCEL IN WHATEVER YOU DO, whether it’s your job or business, if you don’t have anything you’re doing currently try and make your self useful and the lord would prosper you.

    As for your mum run to the throne of God on her behalf, don’t hate her, treat her with love and understanding, brace your self show her strength and never weakness in love and without arrogance and in due time she will change. Also, A TIME WILL COME WHEN SHE WOULD SEEK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS IF YOU DO ALL I SUGGESTED.

    As for marriage, do not worry you will be married soon but FIRST DEVELOP YOUR SELF & VALUES, as a matter of fact if you got married with this present state of mind, it is very unlikely your home would have lasted.

    If you are not yet a christian accept Christ in your life and he would turn every misery to glory in your life.

  • Reply
    tigregy
    August 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Hey girl,God loves you and with this kind of love you will make it anywhere anyday!cheer up things happen to make us stronger,see this as a challenge and use it as your stepping stone to go higher in life,always remember this:it takes only YOU to make YOU happy!!God loves you and thats what count…and i love you too!

  • Reply
    Agboola Abimbola
    August 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Dear Amaka, i sincerely feel ur pain but always have it at the back of ur mind that God loves u no matter what. Talk to God to intervene in ur suituation and dont let all dis to low ur moral and self esteem. the lord is ur strength.

  • Reply
    BB
    August 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Amaka have u ever sat ur mum down and talked abt this? if no then pls u need to have a heart to heart discussion wit ur mum, tell her hw u really feel abt the way she has been treating u, and hear what she has to say, and pls forgive ur mum and do away wit woteva resentment u may hv in ur heart towards ur mum and sister as a result of this cos true healing process can only begin from forgiving her.
    Then i implore u to look deep within urself and discover ur passion in life and work at it. d fact dt ur mum thinks ur worthless does nt mean u r, dts just her personal opinion, let dt b a driving force for u to achieve ur goals and objectives in life. if u need to move out of the house cos being around her makes u feel worthless then pls move out to achieve ur dreams cos the world is waiting for u to reach out, achieve and make ur dreams come true. it has always workd for me grl, weneva ppl try to put me down and make me feel like a failure, i dont stay down i rise up and prove to dem am nt a failure, dt i can do it. most importantly embrace God, cos without God, u cant achieve anytin. so babes stop feeling sad down and out, RISE UP! d world is feeled wit endless posibilities jst waiting for u to come and grab it….”YES U CAN”

  • Reply
    Ada Nnanna
    August 27, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Amaka d worst tin dat 2 u is 2 hate n loose focus.we are all created 4 a purpose n until dat purpose is achieved one shuld not rest.I use liv wit my aunt who notin gud in me.she hated me wit passion n she made sure she frustrated my lyf.I endured every tin she did 2 me n I always prayd 2 God 2 snd an angel 2 save me n he did,at d age of 18 a man I met wen I went 2 pik ha children 4rm skul came askn 4 my hand in marriage.I didn’t say no cus I wantd 2 liv d hell I was in.my aunt tryd 2 stop it but wen God says no one can say no.afta all said n done I got married 2 dsame man n 2day I am very in my hubby’s house.he sent 2 d univetsity n after graduation he open a very big shopin mall 4 me now I shuttle btwn Dubai n china 2 buy tins n I won’t 4get 2 tell u dat I cater 4 my aunt n ha children now.so even though u nid 2 b in gud terms wit ur mum u also nid 2 realise n go 4 wat u want.don’t let boda u atleast u hav a dad who cares 4 u,I had no one but 2day I hav every one.braze up my dear n take d bull by d horn.gud luk.

  • Reply
    Toyo
    August 27, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Dear Amaka,this is my first time. Of visiting this blog and your story struck me. I’ll like u to know that no matter what u may be going through,there is a God who created u and he loves u. God gave u to ur parents as gift and they are to take of u and love u. But since u are not getting the love u think u deserved,I”ll like u to turn to God who made u and knows ur worth. First,have a reletionship with Jesus by asking him to come into ur life and be the lord of ur life;from they u will feel his love, and peace will flood ur hrt. As a child,I was abandoned by my dad,and I never had a fathers love,so I understand what u are going through,I walk around life feeling worthless about myself and hatred to my father. But when I meet christ all that changed,I have become a better person,living a healthy,happy and successful life. I forgave me dad before he died,and he blessed me. So pls turn to God in prayers,belive in urself,also pray for ur mom. Start doing those things that makes u happy,keep companies(friends)that will motivate and inspire u. God bless u.

  • Reply
    Debby Ordor
    August 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    Hi Amaka. Life itself is so unfair. i would advice u to look beyond wat u are facing right now. And tell urself that u r not a minority or a mediocre. u are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Don’t let it stop u from achieving greater things, meeting people, getting into relationships and getting married. Hold on to God, he is d only one dat will not let u down. your parents have done their part in bringing u into this world. Allow God to do his part in your life and you will c things working well for u again. so get up and BRACE urself girl. U will not fail in life.

  • Reply
    Amaka Isiwu
    August 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Face you dream and ignore them. its well with you my dear. very soon, you will start a new song.

  • Reply
    Bernard James
    August 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Hey,young lady,i feel your pains. But there’s one thing you need to know : You are the most LOVED ! Even if your parent doesn’t love you,you are love by God Almighty. I know it hurts when you are being denied of parental love. But remember that one with God is a majority. Put on a smiling face,OK.

  • Reply
    Max
    August 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Hi Amaka,

    I do not know where to start , but i can truly understand how you feel cos i have been in a similar situation. What i can say is your sister will always be your sister just love her, also parents sometimes are afraid of child who are independent, strong, can function well on thier own so they do not know how to handle it and turn thier attention on the other child who seems weaker.
    You need to understand that you are a strong person beautiful inside and outside, your mum loves you though she may not be showing it right you shloud not let it bother you. Be yourself , do yourthing as long as its right in Gods sight is all i can say and one day she will realise how special you are.
    Do not compete with oyur sis its not necessary , just be you do what you like in this case its usually the opposite, treat your mum with respect but do not let her bully you or talk down at you , like “steph” said you are beautiful inside and out, you are strong and it shows you do know what you want besides you have a Father that loves much more than your mum ever can.

    Goood luck with being you loads of luv.

  • Reply
    Jenny
    August 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Well said by all! Amaka stop wallowing in self pity, get up and do sth. Mk God ur number one friend n he’ll neva leave u. God loves u.

  • Reply
    Adedunbi
    August 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Hi Amaka

    A musician sang a song saying U’re fearfully made, U’re wonderfully made, U belong 2 God and U resemble HIM. U see i was once in ur shoes but Glory be 2 God wen He made me realise dat i shld rely on Him dat every other thing is little, I did so and i was happy at last. whatever u’re passing 2ru on earth dont panick cos Jesus Christ also pass 2ru d same tin, so dnt think u’re d only 1 passing 2ru it, Jesus Christ also pass 2ru it and overcome so likewise u 2 rely on God, dnt listen 2 wat ur mum or anybody is saying just listen 2 God, pray 2 Him, am so so sure dat God will hear u out and help u. Amen. Remain blessed and dont panick or think of anytin cos if anytin should happen 2 u nw, others will enjoy der life and 4get about ur existence. kk bye love u dearly.

  • Reply
    stephanie
    August 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Amaka….am a mother and understand how u feel. My dear, call your mum n ask her if your their biological child. Bcos no real and God fearing mother would wanna hurt her own child for the detriment of another child of hers. My dea r, what matters in life is not the begining, your 31yr, and for going this far, experience must have thought you alot, the best advise you need right now,is the one you ll give to yourself….reject pity,sorry and so on and move on with your life,biological or no biological child,you ll definitly be the only hope for that woman. Trust in God and pray without season. Make sure you learn from her mistakes and never you in life do same to ur future kids

  • Reply
    Jenny baby
    August 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Amaka I can feel ur pain but u dnt hv to feel depressed and sad because everytin happens for a reason. I tink u shuld tk ur mum to God in prayers then seat her down and talk to her abt this issue. Amaka dnt feel unhappy and sad okay tk it frm me everitin will be fine jst fine..remember no condition on earth is everlasting because as far as I knw there is a God up there,he will deliver u and restore that which has be tken frm u so cry no more God is in control.

  • Reply
    Joyce
    August 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Amaka,d Lord alone is d author & finisher of ur faith.Go 2 d Lord in prayer against any force or power of rejection & depression.while praying put urself aright by feeling happy,find urself in d midst of friends or pple who will ginger ur spirit 4 gud not 4 evil.dis is just a tip i can give.do not ever feel rejectd or depressed.

  • Reply
    Cathy
    August 27, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    i wonder sometimes how some parent would want to show their love for one child and neglecting the other, my dear go on your knees and talk to your heavenly father. meanwhile keep believing in yourself and do that which gives you joy. hardwork pays don’t give up on yourself because it is never an option. i pray it works out for you

  • Reply
    tolu
    August 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    I felt d same way of few years ago by God helped me deal wt it, sincerely the situation of things at home was making me really depressed nd I already was having a very negative self esteem. Being the first girl nd child has made me realize my parents will always b tougher on me cos they xpect me to set a good example nd my siblings were gonna tread the path I lay so they just had to b tougher wt me. Let me tell u wat I did when I felt that way… First I accepted the situation, second I wrote a list of things dat was unique about me, wat I loved nd people loved about me. Then I started turning the negatives to positives by accepting I was given the tough love nd accepting that my sister should b pampered (dat is y she is younger). I never got angry when my parents hurled insults at me or when my sister spoke rudely, I conditioned nd trained my mind to b positive about things nd most importantly, I prayed bt d situation nd asked God to turn things around in my favour. Today, I av a very good relationship with my parents nd sister. Altho m much younger dan u r, its not too late to correct d wrongs of the past. Accept u nd believe God loves u no matter the flaws in u. *kisses*

  • Reply
    tbabe
    August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    hi amaka, there is no excuse 4 making anybody feel worthless, biological child or not. That said, it is natural to want to feel loved even tho not all wld return d love so i understand ur frustration expecially as she is ur mum so my advise is go to her nd tell her hw u feel wen she do nd say certain things so she can stop. We are all unique in our own ways so she shld recognise dem nd treat u accordingly. Then 4 u, try 2 stand on ur feet nd say no 2 any1 trying 2 bring ur downfall. Dont let anybody dcide whether u wil b happy or nt, u wil find out dat wen ure always happy no matter wat nd mak others happy pple wil love u nd want 2 mak u happy. Remember Jesus words, there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving. Above all take all ur anxieties to our Father Jehovah, He is d hearer of prayer. I wish u success in all ur endeavors and i hope this might all be a misunderstanding.

  • Reply
    Kosoko olaitan adunni
    August 28, 2012 at 6:57 am

    You just cant give up now,you’ve come too far from where you started from,nobody told you the road was gonna be easy but i dont beleive he brought you this far to leave you here.
    These are the words from cece winans my dear.

    I would also say that if you havent been working try to get a job,in the process you could save enough to get a place of your own,and in GODS time mr right will follow.
    also have a lengthy heart to heart talk with your folks.

  • Reply
    CHINNY
    August 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Amaka, sorry to say dis, but u need to change ur mindset about ur family, life, etc.Put an end to a feeling of depression and take charge of ur life. tnx.

  • Reply
    BERTRAND
    August 28, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Amaka , All I have to tell you is that it is you that your mother love most. one, She is showing you how to overcome hard life, two she is teaching how to be a marriageable element in the society. Above all she is teaching you how to be a woman on your own. Do not lament , it is your sister will regret soon.

  • Reply
    sharon
    August 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    ♏v̶̲̥̅ dear amaka ά̲̣̥
    ṁ̭̥̈̅̄
    s̶̲̥̅̊
    ọ̥
    $☹Ʀяƴ abt dis but i will kindly advice u τ̅o leave ur father’s house Ãήϑ gø and ♍α̲̅kε̲̣̣̣̥ ur life better.foя a girl of ur age u’ve tried enough.

  • Reply
    Sunshine Francis Agaba
    August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    As far as i’m concern AMAKA, dere’s nothing new in wht u’re facin… Bible history n tym haz shown dat its alwayz dificult 2 love all ur children or even wives equally n nomata how dey pretend to show equally love among d children,… Dere must alwayz b a favourable one among dem. But den, i dont wnt u 2 fel discourage ova anytin bcoz ur destiny is dferent 4rm dat of ur kid sista… She can marry b4 u, get a job, or even mor intteligent dan you are.., but note dis, it is not a yardstic 2 measure who wil laaugh last.. Speakin 4rm spiritaul point of view, evry delay alwayz coms wit greatness “4 d end wil alwayz b beta dan d bgining bible quotes” and aslo neva 4get dis fact “4 d stone dat d builda rejected wil end up bcomin d chief corner stone” bliv me AMAKA ur moda wil dfinately beg u later, yes she wil… But u must go out 2 face d challenges outsyd, work n get bussy, try not 2 dpend fully on dem (parents) n above all show her love n neva stop showin her love even wen she dont apreciate it bcoz Love is d antidote dat can turn any hatred to Love..

  • Reply
    Esta
    August 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Amaka, too bad anyway, But you need to proof her wrong by taking up the challenge and stop feeling bad about yourself. She is your mother, stop all that thinking and move on

  • Reply
    Denna A. Gibson
    August 28, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Amaka, i feel your hurts but all you can do is to prove your mother wrong by keeping your head up high and working toward becoming somebody. Forget about your sister because sometimes in life, the rejected stone becomes the corner stone in the family so do not give up the fight cuz God is watching and sees all you are going through. Take one step and God will do the rest.

  • Reply
    Nne Johnson
    August 28, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Hi Amaka,

    I need you to try something different. First you must stop feeling bad and clothing yourself with negative thoughts. Forgive your mum and be nice to her. Also be fervent in prayers asking God to turn your mothers heart for good. Be nice to your sister as well and believe me your love towards them despite all will draw them closer to you. Cheers and always remember that it is well with you.

  • Reply
    America;The land of the brave
    August 29, 2012 at 2:38 am

    This is so sad.
    Like all the comments made.
    Just get closer to GOD and have a heart talk with your parents.

  • Reply
    efe
    August 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I feel so sorry for you,but sometimes life throws shit at us but its most painful when its from who shd love us,but I have goodnews for you clean yourself up and tell yourself you can.don’t be angry at your mum but pray for her always.I can see you at the top.

  • Reply
    Melvin
    August 29, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    amaka,i wnt 2 let u knw dat u’re d best creature eva creatd by God.neva allow d tins around u deter a glorious future ahead of u cos dere can neva b a beta yestaday. Wateva happend 2 u, hapened 4 a reason,evry xperience u had,had a divine plan,n its usually 2 prepare u 4 a bigger picture.dn’t allow ur xperiences guide ur decision,u’ll one day laugh d loudest. If u dn’t mind,inbox me send a friends request via esewe melvin joseph on facebook. I’m really moved by ur xperiences cos i had a similar one. God bless u my dear

  • Reply
    Grace
    August 29, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    Amaka, one thing to do is to stop letting anyone tell you who you are. Define yourself and live your life in that consciousness. In life, you’ve got to realize that u are the only one who can stop yourself. Its very important for you to love yourself first, then u can find love elsewhere! There is sufficient love in Christ Jesus. When u settle for this Love, even your enemies will be at peace with u, and I bet u that u will win your parents love. God’s Grace.

  • Reply
    jbabe
    August 30, 2012 at 11:09 am

    i feel you pain cos i went through the same thing but i was determine to make it out of life and to God be the glory i am doing well. All i think u need is to love yourself and yourself and God alone. You will amke it if you so wish cos God has given you all you need to make it in life. I wish you well

  • Reply
    Tyna
    August 30, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Amaka life is too short n you have to make the best out it….. happiness is sumthng dat is within you n its either u choose to be happy or sad. i know its not easy to be in a situation lik your but hav you tried doing something new that make you happy but as for your mother, she is your flesh n blood there is no way you call her and talk to her letting her know your feeling that she wont listen lo you. she gave birth to you and even if anythng happn to you, she will b d only person 2 feel your pains……i nid you 2 b strng 4 yourself… go out n join a society in church , meet people , exchange ideas, create d character n atmosphere 4 pplp 2 gt attractd 2 u thn pray alot. there is no way u wont find happiness again bt 1st sort out wit ur mum….. Dont worry wit God all things ar possible

  • Reply
    kaylie
    August 31, 2012 at 1:39 am

    Amaka this is Grace Delayance . So no matter how long your grace is being delayed you will still get there.
    So cheer up dear,
    It’s not OVER.

  • Reply
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    Zenag
    September 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    U still live with ur parents that’s y ur mum sings ur younger sister’s praise. there’s a time in one’s life when u have to leave ur parents home no matter how comfortable ur parents home is. secondly stay connected to God. Read ur bible if ur a christian it will build ur confidence and always commit ur ways to God, ask 4 his mercies daily.There’s nothing impossible with God. Cheer up dear!

  • Reply
    Jaylinus
    September 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    First, I want 2 tank steph 4 given us dis medium 2 exchange ideals. To amaka I want 2 tell u first dat d Lord is ur strength. Well Amaka i will ask you to meet your mother for 1 night as ask her Mother why are you treat me in this way cray on to hear She will understand your pain

    Thanks Steph

  • Reply
    linda antwi
    October 30, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    My dear take heart, the bible says that seek ye the kingdom of God first and the rest shall be added to you, this is a difficult situation but first pray, and set a goal for yourself and be determined to accomplish it, to prove to your mother that you can also make it and with God on your side she will change

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