Blog Talk to Steph

Talk To Steph – Favour Gone Wrong

Dear Steph,

I need a solution, it all seems like my world is crashing right before me. I’m a lady of 28 and I’m in a relationship of about 2 years now.

I work with an insurance company and life has been good until my boyfriend lost his job roughly 10 months ago. And everything changed. I have been catering for him and myself as well since then.

He continually nags about not having a job despite his applications for a new one. And to be very honest this whole situation sucks life out of me.

So I decided to meet my boss at the office and I asked if he could help in any way. He accepted but requested sex with me and because I felt fed up with my boyfriend’s situation, I gave in to sleep with my boss but we had an agreement that it will be a one time stuff. I was desperate and was willing to sacrifice for my boyfriend.

Weeks later my boyfriend got the job and according to the company policy, employees must have a 3 months training before confirmation.

This situation led to my boyfriends being trained at my branch of the company, which is also where my boss that gave him the job works.

Just less than 6 weeks my boss couldn’t let me stay for a day without further request for sex and in the process my boyfriend found out the whole thing. He quit the job instantly and left town without a word. Doesn’t take my calls to hear my side of the whole thing.

I feel confused as I’ve only intended to assist but it’s all falling on me now. I wrote so that I can have a public view and advice on what to do. Is there a chance or anything I could do to salvage the situation? Please I need help. Thanks.

Let’s hear your thoughts

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  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    so sad…..

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    You were wrong to have sacrifice your body for anything on earth, it’s absurd! Don’t really know how to go on advising you but pray and try reaching any of his close friend or relation who is aware of your relationship with him, explain things to him/her and see if they could help you talk to him…Goodluck

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Sweetie, u played God, n nobody plays God n goes scot-free. Am sorry things went awry for. Forget d past (that’s plus ur “ex boyfriend), and move on. Take good note of lessons learnt, n don’t allow it repeat. We re all in the school of life, some lessons hurts, some re sweet… Ciao!

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    Its indeed a pity that this happened.It pertinent for man to forget one’s lab-our of love but God doesn’t forget .i will advice you pack up the pieces of your life forget about him cos he doesnt deserve your love and affection and turn to God for a new leave.

    Ask God for forgiveness , repent of your sins and accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior you will enjoy life as sweeter than honey again.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    I think the only place where u made a mistake was to sleep with your boss. 4get about him.

  • Reply
    umukoro Quinnet
    May 20, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    Compromising for a start was your biggest mistake,you had sex there’s no two ways about it,he’s not coming back,my advice is move on and never make that kind of mistake……

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    @gift easier said dan done…my dear u have made d mistake already and how are u sure dat same boss of urs would,t keep on requesting 4 more sex? And u turning him down can cause ur job. U don’t start what u can’t finish well its a lesson 4 u ad all is jst dat u are learning 4rm ur own mistake.d only solution now is God’s intervention there is notin impossible 4 is well dear.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Everybody makes mistakes. Move on with life and don’t forget to abide by God’s word and Love. He loves you more than your boss. Your boy friend should be ashamed of himself. Can’t he take up a small paying job like teaching, working in restaurant and the likes, so as to make ends meet since you have a paying job? That is exactly the problem with us, we don’t like doing these jobs. There’s always a humble beginning …

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    Is unfortunate, Damage has been done already. U forget about him, u continue with ur boss. And ur thinking of going back to ur ex-boyfriend ur deceiving urself. With or without him life will goes on.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Hmmn this is ridiculous! First of all go to God ur maker n ask 4 forgiveness of sins with sincerity of heart. Am prety sure He’s a merciful father n will forgive u,then walk in His path,my sister.,to cut d long story short,ur life will become a testimony. Shalom!

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    Truth be told, you didn’t commit dat atrocity just cuz you love him. Itz obvious you did it cuz his being out of job sucks life out of you. Thatz wht he make of it. My adv are; Make peace with God first. Then try & see if you can meet your guy through his friends/family, tell him all d truth & ask 4 his 4givnss. If he refuse 2 4giv, don’t giv up. Go 2 him again bt this time with a priest/pastor. If he pesist dis tym, carry on with your life

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    i dont blame u sweet heart i know what it mean to actually give everything for the one u love, dont mind all the casting from people ur actions tho wrong spiritually, its a sure proof u really love ur guy and am so sorry for him cos he has lost somth that am not sure he could ever get in this life i wud actually give a lot to have someone like you, not that i wu d be happy hearing ur deeeds , but we are humans and none is a saint at least iw ud consider alot after a jealous anoyance. thr a re lots of women who wud sleep with their boss for promotion, superiority, increase in allowance etc but u did it for the man u love. for me i wud say nothing done out of love should be regretted just be wise next time and try to know that its not all love are worth sacrificing for, only sacrifice for those u know wud do the same for u when its thr turn.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    Aaaawwww! Quite unfortunate. Well forget the past including him, give God the pieces to remold it(you)He is the greatest portter. All the best.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    I agree with everyone..its really sad things turned out this way,you really made a mistake by sleeping with your boss and thinking he would let you go like sure you have learnt your lessons.try contacting his people,to get to apologize to him..because he is truly hurt and guy will congratulate you for that i guess you need to put in more effort to try to see him and explain yourself,if he wants to forgive you and get back with you,fine but if not ,sorry dear you will have to move know broken trust is the most irreplaceable thing in the world…but before all that just take time out to pray and ask God for his forgiveness because you hurt him too and then his divine guidance am sure something God will come up..cheer up love

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    †̥ even sleep with somebody inorder 2 save ur father’s life is not wise. L♥√£ is nt an excuse 2 engage in sexual immorality. Hope uv learnt ur lesson. Forgot that guy n move on with ur life. This experience is another way of Showing u deserve a better relationship

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    Give the situation time. Time heals all wound. Your boyfriend may never trust you again but pray and turn to God. You truly will be happier.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    get rid of him..he is your boyfriend and NOT your husband…let him GO…dont ever sleep with any man to help someone get a job even if u love the person to cloud nine and back…let them’s part of life..u have to go thru challenges…afterall, without these, what experience can u say uve got..

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Form principles nd set boundaries for urself long before u need them. If u had these to hold unto you wldnt hav given in to pressure or acted in desperation.pls learn somethin frm this so u dnt make mistakes wen u r married.won’t advice u to go back to ur ex cos u hav no excuse,real or imagined. He didn’t confront u or try to get an explanation. Its unlikely he has d strength nd emotional maturity it takes to overcome infidelity ,deal wit trust issues nd move on in a healthy relationship.Try to let go of d whole thin ,pick up d lesson and move on. Love awaits you.

  • Reply
    May 21, 2013 at 7:54 am

    i think the deed has been done and cnt be reversed,send him a text,if not possible go to his family and explain to them,if they are reasonable they will succum to ur request.but u didnt do well cs no matter the pressure dnt ever give up to evil,u felt wat u did was right.and keep praying 4 mercy and god will step in.chacha

  • Reply
    May 21, 2013 at 11:01 am

    I am tempted to say “how stupid of you”? But on 2nd thoughts, I am not in your shoes. That said, I think you made a big mistake by compromising yourself in the first instance especially as the job is in your company. Things like this have a way of going wrong. I think you should move on, because the relationship can never be the same again.

    As for that your boss, he is stupid.

  • Reply
    May 21, 2013 at 8:40 pm


  • Reply
    May 31, 2013 at 11:00 am

    I wont condemn your actions because one way or the other, we humans do things that are a bit over the top all in the name of love. Yours was sleeping with your boss to get your boyfriend a job, another instance may be using ones life savings to support a “boyfriend” through school, the list is endless. I would advice that despite what you feel for him, try not to contact him, it will not be easy from the beginning but with time it will heal. Even if you two get back together rebuilding trust, my dear is going to be one hell of a time. Occupy yourself with activities that will not make your mind drift. Stay blessed and may God order your steps.

  • Reply
    June 6, 2013 at 5:31 am

    i will never do such a thing to my husband ,not to talk of a boyfriend.she is just 28 bt seem desperate.nw ,the guy has left and she might also be sacked by her boss if she continues to say no to his request.i blame her for all what is happening.

  • Reply
    June 28, 2013 at 11:04 am

    i dont realy no how to say this,because it has alot to do with trust,and trust is the mean factor in any reletionship.and sex my dear is not something to talk about physicaly and spiritualy is very bad.havnt said this,i think both of you love each other,and you need each other,if you dont,you wouldnt have done what you did,and if does not love you,he wouldnt have been angry with you.i believe is not yet over between two of you,after all some ladies will live a reletionships and still come back and it will still work.the littel problem you would have is,trust,just give him alittel time,after sending text to him,and you pray and be sincere to your self,it will work,but next time your into crisis,ask questions please,and that your boss is a fool,try and get out of that company or environment,before it will kill you.

  • Reply
    July 5, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    So terreble,only GOD will help,u did all u could in ur human power,but u were to fast for searching for dat job,u would have call u boyfriend and say see oooo dis wat I’m trying to do but dis wat my boss said atleast he will no u didn’t jst fold ur hands but u were really trying to help him, but d setuietion at hand now fine one of his closes friend or brother talk to him never u feel shy,if only u can open up to one close person God can use him for u be strong sister,hard luck,as for ur boss he will never fine peace in his life

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