Dear Steph,
Men too go through a lot and I am writing on behalf of a friend..
Indeed, its a tough world for husbands.Recently, I was at a friend’s house. I met husband and wife having a heated argument. I almost turned back to allow them sort themselves out but the level I met them necessitated my intervention. If I had left, there was a great likelihood that it could degenerate to fisticuffs. Wetin happen? The long and short of it was that the man of the house was speaking to his daughter to study well for the forthcoming JAMB exam and the wife said “you are now advising Tinuke to pass JAMB. When we asked you for money to buy the JAMB form, you nearly brought the roof down. Now you are talking as if you have any moral right to talk JAMB” My friend was angry. He felt his wife was rubbing it in because he had no cash to pay for the form when it was out. One matter led to the other and … you know women now… she went on to say my friend is not the only one paying the school fees. As he is paying, she too is paying. It was too much for my friend. His ego was bruised!
What should I have done at this time? What is your advice to this couple?
17 Comments
Stephanie
May 18, 2013 at 12:22 pmThey shuld try nd undastnd each oda.
Oderinu Adekunle
May 18, 2013 at 12:39 pmIf the it’s a Christian family, I will advise the wife to read: Ephesians 5:21-24
New International Version (NIV)
Instructions for Christian Households
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Everything means ALL Things. Money, speech, thought, wisdom, Ego, Body, Spirit, Prayer, work, Anything that the woman can thing of to be her own should be used to honor Her Husband if She follows the Holy word of God.
lilylasexy
May 18, 2013 at 12:59 pmChic, U̶̲̥̅̊ luk hot, red ѧหԃ sexy. U̶̲̥̅̊Я̩̥̊ d best, keep U̶̲̥̅̊Я̩̥̊ style!
John anayo
May 18, 2013 at 1:21 pmHe could have call his friend out of the house
Adebola
May 18, 2013 at 1:26 pmHmmmmmm…the Wife is Kinda Rude buh to me I felt there must av bin other issues on ground b4 d one of “JAMB”.Buh @ d same time,Women should always learn to kip quiet and observe.Even if d Man wasn’t d one that eventually paid for d exam,He has 100% right to advise or scold d child to Read.
FRANCIS GRACE
May 18, 2013 at 1:36 pmWell, my own opinion/suggestion is that u d friend should just take d man out of d house, away from d woman & advice him that wen isues like dat comes up, he should either stay calm & say nothing or pick up a shirt & leave d house cos he’s not helping matters exchanging words with his wife which is even very bad of a man.
Delphine Amaka
May 18, 2013 at 2:07 pmThe women should know what marriage Ȋ̝̊̅§ all about, the bible said ȋ̝̊†̥ ‘s for better and for worse, in richer and in poorer. A woman Ȋ̝̊̅§ ά̲̣̣̣ helper τ̅☺ the man so if she doesn’t help him financially how else would she help him. This man did not commit any crime, he was only short of cash.
gift opuene
May 18, 2013 at 2:19 pmUmm! My advice to you is nutin is permanent in dis life,a lot of marriages are in diffrent shambles,no marriage is perfect,dough mariage was supposed to be enjoyed not endured,but right nw presently things has change,all we need is patience endurance,bcos the rate at which marriages collapse now,is assuming a social symbol statue, it takes two to build,marriage is a life tyme stuff,when yuu are in,its hard to go out,so yuu shud try and endure the pressure weight yuu see in it,get used to it,leave with it,yuu can’t always run away frm it,smtymes try to please her to creat more peace,and don’t forget PATIENCE AND ENDURANCE are the key to evry sustainable mariage………gracias
LovePeddler
May 18, 2013 at 2:24 pmEvery man needs a hardworking woman to support his finance – the case might be different for men who see it as insult. I can’t see any ego being bruised here. If she says she contributes to the family upkeep then what is the big deal there? Couples should learn how to tolerate and love each other no matter the differences. My advise for the man is to know his wife better and learn how to laugh over issues when things like this come up, this way, the wife will learn how to speak on varying matters…
Rahinat
May 18, 2013 at 2:24 pmBoth d wife and husband shid help the family nt becos u paid money for ur daughter jame fees dat why u are complaining,i belive if he has he wil paid dat is avery chidish behaviour. My special advise is dat marrage is for btter for wose so they should help each other pls
sylvia
May 18, 2013 at 2:36 pmU don’t need to do any thing, they are husband and wife they will sort them self out.
Linda Raphael
May 19, 2013 at 10:49 amD woman is jst bn immatured, getting a jamb form 4 ur child shld nt be used against ur husband. She shld knw dt she is his helper n as such shld try n live up 2 her responsibilities. D man shld learn hw 2 tolerate his wife,he does nt ve 2 stand n xchange words wit her.
chile
May 19, 2013 at 2:22 pmI know Men have Ego $ ought to be respected but in marriage you have to put aside ur Ego so that you won’t say oneday that your ego Has been briused several because such a thing is bound to occur in marriage,it’s simply unavoidable.The man should understand the kind of wife he has, $ be able to control the situation at hand.In marriage,a woman can get angry $ say all kinds of words that are not pleasant but it is the duty of the man to give her some Gap or a little space in the house or probably give her silence,i promise you after ranting she will come back $ apologize,than the man trying to argue $ eventually enter into a combat with her,by doing so you are gradually ruining your family $ gradually reducing your respect as a husband $ as a father.
chayous
May 19, 2013 at 8:16 pmMy advice goes to d wife, she should learn to be patience n not to tell people dt she pays her daughter’s fees cos she is a helpmate to d husband,.
anin
May 20, 2013 at 12:08 pmin situations like this, calm ur friend down n advice him.
owen
May 20, 2013 at 12:53 pmMind ur business!
ollybee
May 23, 2013 at 7:39 amGettin jamb form for ur daughter dosnt d hubby can’t advice her 2 study well,d wife needs 2 take things easy,