Blog Steph's Lounge

A Labelled Woman…

SRSG Zeinab Bangura and the women of Paoua CAR say "not to rape" Photo: Cristina SilveiroHello SL Fabz, this was a comment placed on my blog yesterday by Pamela Ogwuegbu. I thought it was very meaningful and decided to share.

The comment is related to International Women’s day, thank you for your post Pamela..

“The woman is the most endangered specie on the planet at the moment. She has been reduced to breast, sex symbol and a thing that must be used by men. Her voice is not heard because she is perceived a weaker vessel and not seen by many as good enough for the No 1 seat in most nations. She has been beaten and battered by many that she has had to pay for marrying a man with her life yet no one is fighting her battles. She has worked herself to death trying to play her domestic role while he sits in front of TV not lifting a hand to assist yet wants a piece of her body at night not considering her tiredness. Now she feels it is a curse to be a woman. Hmmmm she has been labeled for exposing her body and soliciting for sex to pay her bills yet not one cares to find out the man that has dealt with her and stolen her innocence because every woman is a reflection of a man who has either built or destroyed her. She has given her all to a man who doesn’t care about her and threatens her daily. She has gone through the valley of the shadow of death of child birth to give him a baby yet has been abused severally as a reward from the same man whose seeds she fertilized and sustained for 9 months. One was still thrown out by the village man in corporate attire called ‘my husband’ that she married for questioning his sexcapades with the househelp. Should she have congratulated him or play deaf and dumb? Anyway it is another International women’s day celebration and let every man know that men who mess up women never end well except you apologize and repent; a man who beats a woman has lost his manhood and become a beast and is not fit to live with any woman; a man who abuses a woman has earned a place in her hall of shame. It is time to apologize and celebrate our women again and today should mark that beginning. Women! We are sorry”

Share your thoughts, talk to Steph…




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  • Reply
    Alice Adoga
    March 9, 2013 at 5:32 am

    This is brilliant Pamela, we need ladies like you taking a stand for women all over the world who are unable to defend themselves or speak up. We are more than society gives us credit for. I’m glad you know that, and I hope you will continue to share this message with girls, ladies, and women around you. I, on the other hand will be doing the same.

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 5:38 am

    This is just the honest truth of what a lot of women go through.We deserve to be celebrated not debased but against all odds, we play our utmost parts as pillars and builders and still,we are proud to be WOMEN.

  • Reply
    Maro Edwards
    March 9, 2013 at 5:56 am

    Mothers please forgive us men for we know not the implication of what we have done against your person. I just hope sorry would heal the wounds.

  • Reply
    Nathan B
    March 9, 2013 at 5:56 am

    Most men lack fundamental principles any man fighting his wife or beating her is doing that to the dirtriment of himself Thus the women should forget the past and move on things are getting better it’ time to celebrate ur victory hip hip hip huary

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 6:17 am

    Sometimes It takes a person to go thru all these to understand what you right because our culture has innoculated us against feeling that the woman has right. When I was a girl, I would frown at a woman that complains daily abt her husbands physical abuse, sexual philadering or stinginess. I would look at a single mother and hiss and how she was so irresponsible that she could not remain with the father of her child no matter what he did. But now that I am a woman, I have gone thru them and seen it all and I realize that their needs to be a change in our culture. The woman must be recognized an as a first class citizen as well as the man. In my case, I was stigmatized, abused and rejected along with baby by my fiance and his family when they found out my mom had cancer. They believed it was a deadly contagious disease that would wipe out their future generation. I went through the worst humiliation in the hands of man I had trusted and sacrifieced to build a great future with. Yet no one around me stood up to fight for me. Instead, I was labelled a wayward or unlucky woman and blamed for evrything that happen.

    Of course the humiliation and betrayal affected me emotionally and I lost focus in my career and life. I couldn’t work, think or mix up with people because of shame. I literally went from grace to the dirtiest grass. It took 2 years to Get back my senses and try to start over again.

    Those days I wished I wasn’t born a woman. I reasoned that if I were a man, I wouldn’t have gone through this. But today, 2 years later, the veil is lifted and I am proud to be a woman as I have determined to start life again, contribute to the lives of women who are going through where I hv been. I now know that I a person equal to all men and no man can label me unless I accept it.

  • Reply
    oge ugoji
    March 9, 2013 at 6:24 am

    Pamela has said it all, women has been abused in many ways all because she has to be a submissive woman. Nowadays women toil to put food on the table, wake up as early as 4:00am trying to get the kids ready for school, preparing their breakfast, lunch as well because she has to been in the office or market place as the case may be during lunch hour and still come back in the evening dash into kitchen getting dinner ready, and at night open her legs wild opened for her co-called husband failure to do so will result to beating not minding she is human whom must have been tired from the domestic chores and the hustles out there in the office or market place. With one voice please lets stand for a common woman who cannot defend herself. Thank u

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 6:38 am

    granted,some man and another have been abusive towards a woman or two,but then it is sexist to hold the universal ‘he’ quilty

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 6:46 am

    Women need to be respected but they A̶̲̥̅̊я̲̣̥ε̲̣̣̣̥ not treated as sure. Women need to be liberated

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 6:48 am

    Yes! We r d weaker vessel but it is only emotionally, outside our emotions we r stronger in every way. We r victims of our society and cultures. Our liberty is in our hands, we av to stand up for ourselves, no one can help us. God bless d femine world.

  • Reply
    rita omodua
    March 9, 2013 at 6:48 am

    Women are jewels of inestimable value, take her away frm a man and the man becomes a shadow of himself. Well only real men who loves jesus knows dat. Real men loves, cherish and cares for their women and treats her like an angel that she is, anyway iresponsible men who are not real are all over the place looking 4 a prey to devour may they never find us. If they dnt repent, they will end up like their father the devil in hell.

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 7:20 am

    Hello Step,its so nice of you to post this topic on fb. Just keep the good work going kudos love. Stay blessed in Jesus name.

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 7:41 am


  • Reply
    victory francis
    March 9, 2013 at 7:41 am

    aunty Steph u r de best !!!

  • Reply
    Okafor anurika happiness
    March 9, 2013 at 7:43 am

    Women’s liberations should be encourage knowing fully well that women worth to be praised,adored,pampered,cherish…..etc cuz they are very important in the economy,societies,institutns nd in the family as a whole……………………..selah.

  • Reply
    Nwokorie J. Nneka
    March 9, 2013 at 7:46 am

    Nice one. It is a time for us women to be realize who we are and our God given potentials. May God see us through as we unvein these potentials in Jesus Name.

  • Reply
    March 9, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    waoh, Pamela this a good one and Steph thanks too for always sharing with us tips that matters in life, for this very one i will just chip in a little by saying women have gone through alot in the hands of men but my advice to us women is to always do the good works and leave the rest for God.

  • Reply
    Therese Bright
    March 10, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    Thanks Pam for all this awareness that u have made us to see.Thanks to u as well Steph but let no woman ever let a man maltreat her in the name of her husband.we need care n tenderness n not brutality even those in the orphanages still need care n luv as well.thanks for always updating us Mrs.Linus

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