I received this heart breaking email from a fan, let’s call her Miss R. The subject of the email read: My relationship is in a mess, I’m loosing him. Naturally, I was curious and when I opened the email, it read:
Hello Steph,
I’m glad you have a medium like this where one can express his or her mind. I’m having issues with my fiance. We’ve been dating for a year and eight months now. But I keep seeing him with different ladies and different pictures. Now I am scared because I saw a picture on his phone which had a lady lying down on his bed with a ring on her 3rd finger. And he told me not to come to his house anymore but if I ask why, he says he just doesn’t want me to come. I asked him if he wants out of the relationship but he said no. I’m confused right now. I heard some gossip that he is getting married soon. And he doesn’t want to opt out of the relationship.
What do I do? Please I need a quick response. I couldn’t sleep all night. Thanks.
It’s a very dicey situation and with matters of the heart, it is not always easy to give advice. But what I would say is this – Trust is the basis of every successful relationship and it seems it is lacking in yours. If you can’t trust the man you claim to be in a relationship with, its going to be a very difficult one. Also, the fact that he’s stopped you from coming to his house raises a big red flag. He doesn’t want to share his personal space with you and there are chances he wouldn’t want to share much more with you such as his heart and his loyalty. So I suggest that you have a frank talk with him, tell him how you feel and make an important decision in your best interest.
I wish you the very best and hope you find peace.
All my love,
SL
*Do you have any advice for Miss R? Please share.
Just as u have said Steph, she should be brave enough to talk dis issue out wit d guy and make a positive affirmation. It will really help.
Honey ur a very beautiful woman who deserves happiness and loyalty you deserve to be happy i dn’t want u to regret when later you still have so many chances just leave him co u saw him with different women and a cheater will always cheat honey
DEAR SEPH
I am n a relatnship with a guy who frm the beginn said he want to marry me/this guy talked to my family on phone abt it n after TWO weeks of the relatnshipl,he started changn./my problem is i amm the one doing the calling always
My dear Miss R. I’m a guy and I’ll let u know men keep secrets a lot and wud tell u sweet stories just to get u to bed, u have only been in that relationship for only a year and 8months, thank God u havn’t stayed for 5 yrz or mor b4 he askd u 2 stop comin to his house… It is clear u are not his wife material but he only kept as a frend, simply and quietly quit d relationship, already u’ve heard rumors and also seen som pics, wat else do u need 2 undastand that u ar jst kept perhaps 4 his sexual satisfaction, sorry abt d pains it may cause u, but u hav 2 face ur fears..take care
Well…..I strongly believe he has a lot to hide..why won’t he let u come to his house?a man that loves u n has nothing to hide wouldn’t do that…just call him up n tell him what u feel n make sure u are ready for d worse which could be anything like break up or d actual truth…cos its either he wants to dump u first…so my dear move on n let it be if its meant to….don’t call or text again after u have told him your mind….take care.
Hi Stephanie,
I’m glad that you are an example for women. I have been in relationships for 3 years with my boyfriend but my concern is about my future with him. Last summer in 2014, I had an issue with him regarding our future. His mother started to get him other women for him which was upset on how could he allow this in our relationship. When he traveled back home in January, some of my friends warn me that he won’t be the same person which was the fact. He refused to tell me what happened over there. He took me to his uncle last year before I travelled then in my head I understood that he was serious.
After the incident happen last summer, we decided to split I mean Me who decided because I couldn’t take this anymore the pressure of his family getting involved in our relationship which affected it. I started to don’t trust him since he got back home so I started to check his Facebook and messages. I got so mad at him when I found out that he was chatting to another women. I asked myself what did I do wrong to deserve this. I stood by his side when no one was there. He gave me the key of his house that was also like my own because he said he got a house for both of us. We decorated together and everyone was amazed about it. I really treated him like the way a housewife will do for his man even though we were not married. Recently during summer I was so depressed that I lost so much weight abd trying to move on. He kept on asking of me to chat or see each other. When I got in contact with him back. We started to talk to try to solve the problem but my question is I don’t want to waste my time with someone who is not ready to be committed to me. I was planning during summer to introduce him to my family to make it official and going ahead for the rest but since I don’t know his mind. I don’t want to have any attachments feeling even though we have a strong chemistry. Before I was so concerned about us because I have to consider him in my life but since I don’t want to bother again. I want to plan my life with or without him. What should I do? I don’t want to be deceived again and particularly giving hope. We are not from the same country. I am on my final year in University. I am really grateful what he has done for me particularly in my education, he really helped me. He is very caring person and no man has ever treat me this way with respect.
Thanks in advance
Please help me
my dear one! it is clear that he don’t want anymore just call him and talk to him and see what he will reply u then will go on with ur life but beer dis in mind he has forgotten u but God will someone more then him OK take care.
It’s obvious d@ he’s no longer in it again. If not 4 any reason @ least 4 d fact d@ he stopped u from going to his house tells it all. So I’d say u just pull back instead of u 2 wait 4 him 2 push u away which will be d greatest heartbreak.
Hmmmmm dis is serious my sister I will advice u to forget abt him,cus he’s done wit u long ago,I knw it painful but u have to move on wit ur life,very soon ur own man will locate u.cheers put a smile on ur beautiful face it well
You are staring at the glaring truth in the face, Lady. Take a bold step and move on. If he needs you, he will be back to you. Else, he has found someone better for him. So, let go and search for the best.
Wel i will advice u personally 2 b very careful in dis kind of situation,cos av once experience such whereby my guy ask me not 2 come 2 his place 4 like some months which i was so confuse and don’t really no wat 2 do and @ d end of it all d guy dat ask me not 2 come 2 his place for like some months time,today he is d father of my three kids which am happilly married to.so if God say’s u two are meant 4 each other he wil definately come back for u
I agree wit steph…lady R cal him nd make ur feelings known to him,I belive 4rm der u shuld b able 2 knw ur stand.nd wateva d result mayb…mi dear just accept it.nd remember dat luvin urself is one dam impoprtant thing.God b with. U nd all d best.
when a person show and tells you who they are believe them it hurts but you will get over it
You just have to pick up your pieces and let life goes on, it’s my belief your man has made his choice for marriage and only either jealous of having you go for another man or haven’t the gut to confront you.
I’ve been there,
Done that.
My dear, Walk away.
You just have to pick up your pieces and let life goes on and avoid further hurting yourself unnecessarily. It is my belief your man has made his choice for marriage and either jealous of seeing you go for another man or haven’t the gut to confront you.
Hi Miss R! I Understand Your Predicament But One Thing Is Clear, No Guy Who Genuely Loves You Would Say ” Dont Come To My House Anymore” He Dnt Have A Place For U. Not Even In His Hrt. Quit!,ur Real Husband Will Come To U In Due Time. Cheers!
My dear,
i want to let u kw dat u r e king’s (God) daughter so kindly wait 4 ur prince. y wld u choose to be in e stales wen u r meant 4 e castle?
y wld u settle 4 a peasant wen u r meant 4 e prince.
No matter hw big e nose is, it can neva smell danger wen 1 z coming, e ear must nt be huge as a hat b4 it does wat itz meant to do…….Wisen up kk…. he doesn’t love u….. he is using u 4 nuthn.
Tel him wat u feel n move along.
only God kws best….my lovely sister
my dear miss R, it will be better to apply caution at this stage. Try to talk to him to get the actual fact. and while u do dat, pls try not to reason with ur heart bcos guys have a way of breaking girls defenses. make sure u tell him all dats bin on ur mind and reason with ur head. something is definitely wrong somewhere. But remember, u re still PRECIOUS to GOD.
hi miss R am emmanuel it will be better if you take it easy at this stage try and sit him down n talk to him, on why is he behaving like that.
hello,je suis togolaise et je voudrais un jour vous ressemblez,je vous adore kiss
he is nt db only fish in da river,jst leave him with dat bitch
hey sweet, y r u stressn ur head over nafin, or hv u 4gtn u ve a partner nside of u who cn talk 2 u m’dan we all? C, is high time u recognize him so he can direct ur steps. He is d holy spirit.
Just pray about it. he probably need space to take decision.
Hello Stephen love, please let’s call a spade a spade. That guy won’t marry her. I won’t be surprised if she find out he is finally married from Facebook. The earlier the better, she should stay out of his life cause he is a destiny destroyer. It has happened before to so many ladies out there, they get used, told to have faith and trust on the guy, made to go through series of prayers and fastings and worst of all, waste their most juicy life with the so called FIANCÉ and then get dumped via Facebook. Ple…….a…….se tell her to dump him first. There are better ones waiting, trust me, they are s…..o…. many.
My dear is simple bcos he has given u de Claire picture so if 1door closes another 1opens.N mk him knw dat without him u can even hv a better lyf stay bless
Stephen pls I also hv issues in my relationship. We hv bin dating for 7 years now cos we started wen I was in secondary sch n now am in my 4th year in sch n we hv always wanted to get married Bt den he insisted on seeing my parents wch I obliged to n after den d relationship has bin having one problem or another now he thinks I don’t want to marry him cos I said am in sch n I must finish b4 I continue wit any form of marriage arrangement wit him.he even invited me over to his home town for xmas n I refused cos I don’t want to b looked as one wayward child by his parents knowing fully well DAT its again tradition to slip in ur fiances house b4 marriage. I hv tried my best to let him noe I love him Bt he still doubts me n am fed up cos he thinks I want to leave him just like his ex did.I rily nid ur help on wat to do. My parents don’t even care all dey say is I shld not put my eggs in one basket. Pls advise me on wat step to take to let him noe dat I am wit him every step of d way.
Matt 6:33, my dear i was once in dat p, i datd a guy 4 gud 8yrs n 2day we r nt 2gada….. God kns d best 4 u
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