A reader left this comment in a recent ‘Talk To Steph’ post which I just had to share.
Hi Steph, all he wants is sex! I love him so much and I believe he loves me too. But any time I refuse sex, we end up in a fight and that has become a big problem for me. I have tried discussing it with him several times but he failed to reason with me. I’m afraid that if I leave him, I won’t be able to get a better guy. Whenever I’m with him, sex must be involved. I don’t want to be deceived Steph.
SL Fabz, please give her some good advice in dealing with this situation.
*Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’
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My dear, if he truly really loves you, he’ll not just be all about sex, he respects you and your decisions, he’ll have regard 4 ur body. He’s paid nothing on you and he’s tapping it for free.
I’m not saying a guy who loves you will never ask for sex, no, no, no!
He’s attracted to you!
He’d ask for it but you can turn him down n he won’t take it personal!
From the line “everytime I refuse sex” shows he’s after your body, if U can’t handle That, move on! U will find better, trust me
Its lust and not love. He just wants to have fun and go away. Please let go and you will find someone that will love and respect you.
My dear forget about him,if is really yours and he have plans for the both of you,he will wait for the right time. But never think by sacrificing yourself or your body to him that will make him become a better man, but rather he will become a total stranger after everything.
i do not think that the guy loves u because any man who just want sex, and gets mad when he doesn’t get any, is a player and will never be satisfy. He doesn’t love u my dear just want u for sex. am sure there is a better guy who will love u for who u are out there
if any relationship lacks respect everything done wil nt last d taste of time,is he a meniac,is as if each time he learns abt a new trick he wont 2try it on her,any relationship anchored on sex wil hit d rock later in life,and i think he is jst using her 2satisfy his sex hunger,as 4her i think she should evaluate herself and think of wot wil nt make hetr regret,a man who sees her as a sex machine wil only bring her miseary.
Sex is not just an ordinary thing outside marriage, let us not allowed to be use as Sex toy.
D truth is always bitter, buh d truth still is d truth. As hard as It’s gonna be, Let him go if he is still not listening. ur have better tins to offer.
… and you are still sitting there with that sex-monger asking questions? Wait until he impregnates you then you’ll know what he is really after.
You already know something is wrong the problem is you don’t believe you deserve beter but sweety you are worth more than u tink dear.trust me there is someone beter out dear for u,Take a step of faith.
Leave him
My dear, sex is not food for a relationship. The most important things which are the foundation of every relationship is Respect, trust and understanding and when these three are there, love is evident. So if he doesnt understand you when you refuse sex, doesnt respect your body nor who you are, definitely, he doesnt trust you. There are millions of men outside there who will acknowledge these three things, so the better you give them the chance the better for you. Don’t loose diamonds when busy collecting stones, to avoid stories that touch the heart.
I think the issue here is you not knowing what you have cos of fear of not getting someone else. This guy is really not the kind of person you want to be patient with cos my dear, even if you decide to endure wen you get married it will lead to domestic violence which you would not want. My advice is let go and get ur confident back. Someone will definitely come.
i believed they is no love with out sex, he is suppose to do it one time a week and probably 2 weeks after not all the time dear
”….am afraid if I leave him I won’t be able to find a better man” I think there is a line like that. Which means the guy is doing exactly what a man supposes to do in a relationship,but the lady does not want to play her part better. Why is she afraid? Because from her explanations the guy is a better man and the hard to get type. He is not a brute, only becomes angry when the lady refuses him sex. Who knows the lady also becomes angry whenever the man fails to provide or tend to her needs! If a man doesn’t love a woman, he feels nothing for her. If you love the guy then follow ur heart!!!
I love you for that statement “Who knows if the lady also becomes angry whenever the man fails to provide or tend to her needs!” she needs to check herself well before taking any decision.
There must b reasons u actually don’t want to letgo of dis guy or why u love him irrespective of his weakness. Ask him to tell u what he really likes abt u apart 4rm ur body. If his answers are reasonable enough beyond ur doubt it means he loves u but he has dat attitude as his weakness,then u should b conscious of wat u wear to See him,wear sumtin less seductive. But if he doesn’t reply u or keeps telling u of sumtin related 2s3x only,then believe his a cheat he does dat with others and doesn’t love who u are but his URGES U SATISFY.
Hmmmmmmmmmm love is not all about sex, mostly when it still a relationship status
If he starts with sex then he will need morethan sex to sustain the relationship and if you cannot offer what he wants again he will look else where. What do you want? Have a goal and pray about it. Sex before marriage is wrong.
You have to call it a quit bcos u ve a brigther future ahead
Dear Steph
Am a widow with tow kids after three years i meet this young man he loves me so much and my kids he is doing things for them that their father never did, we are six month in the relationships, he has introduced me to most of his family members and friends we always spend most of our free time in his place, one day i stayed in to clean the room i sow under ware and a scoff which was not mine
i was so devastated and distributed i did not tell me he was traveling that afternoon, he loves me so much what should i do if he lied to me about the things?
Thank you
Penina
Everyone cailms that sex before marriage is wrong. Yes. That’s what we were taught and base on our religion. However, my dear…I have a different view to your situation which is, You love your man, and you believe he loves you. That’s all that matters. The fact that you believe, and you have hope, all other things will fall in line. If he needs sex to sustain the relationship, then give REAL GOOD AND BETTER SEX. Take it to the NEXT LEVEL OF SEX you can ever imagine. Make him beg for it, while you do so in unexpected ways, watch, he will be the one begging you to stop. Ensure that you use what he desires, to humble him and he will be humbled. No one will agree on this but it’s the truth. He will get tired. That’s when you will know your man is back.
can this make me fb given 2dos looking 4a serious date.