Blog Talk to Steph

He lied about his past!

Hello Stephanie,

First I want to say how much I love your blog. You are doing something really different here. Well done! I’ll like to share my story: I have been dating this man for a while now, exactly 9 months. After 2 months he introduced me to his family; I now have a close relationship with his mum – I come around to cook her meals, help with the laundry, and lots of chores, I also buy her stuff like I would buy my own mother. Last month we did our introduction and a lot of my relatives and friends were gushing with joy for me. They said I was lucky to find a man as wonderful as my husband-to-be. But something happened only a week after the introduction ceremony. I got a text message from someone who says she is his (my fiancé) ex-wife and they have a son together. I was so shocked, my hands were shaking! I showed the text to my fiancé, and for the first time he told me that yes he has a 5 year old son! But he claimed he was never married to the woman, she is only a baby mama. I have called the woman privately several times after then, and she says she can show me pictures of their traditional wedding. She now leaves in Ghana but says to prove him wrong she’d come to Nigeria to see me and show me evidence of their marriage. I confronted my mother-in-law to be, but she said they only had an elaborate introduction but not a wedding. She shared some of the issues that made her son (my fiancé) leave the woman; claims the woman is diabolical and was going to ruin her son (my fiancé) and so on.

I’m so confused. This family tried to hide a secret that I deserved to know for all of 9 months. I don’t know if I can ever trust him and his mum again. What should I do? Who should I believe? My family members think I should turn a deaf ear to it all and marry my man, only my elder brother is sceptical about it all. Please I need your advice. – Jacinta

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