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DYING TO BE THIN – A story

 

DYING TO BE THIN – The Scary Truth Behind Anorexia And Bulimia Nervosa

It all started on that faithful day, precisely 07/ 10/ 2003. I was in my finals in the prestigious QUEENS COLLEGE, I was a plump teenager with curves and fat in the right places, with a full breast and round buttocks, I was the belle in my class. Well that was until the DSTV craze started and everybody wanted to be like the models they saw on Fashion TV. Everybody wanted to be ‘lepa shandi’, soon I was the fat and ugly one, but it really sank in when we went to our annual school programs where we met the boys from Kings College. My lifelong crush Damien called me a ‘fat b***’ and walked away with Laraba, the skinniest girl in my class, they were laughing, it hit me like a bullet and I felt so ugly and miserable, all I wanted right then was to be the skinniest girl in the world.
It was hard at first, not eating! But when I thought about Damien and how much I wanted him to see me as beautiful, I stayed away from food! It started as eating twice a day to once a day to none a day, and soon I was going two days without eating. I was so obsessed with losing weight and becoming “the most sought after” again that I let it take over me!

I lost the weight so fast, I spun! I was so happy, because I started getting more attention for my looks; there were comments like “wow! You look so fly, you’ve lost so much weight” and I felt good about that and I was even more determined to lose more weight
So I stayed back and let it eat me up even more, when I went home for the holidays, mom kept shouting about how lean I am, and how she was going to give me so much food before I go back to school, I picked at the food when we were at the dining table, so mummy took me to the hospital where our family doctor tested me and gave me multivitamins, it made me hungry, really hungry and I couldn’t help it, so I ate, so much, mum was happy but not me, I was ashamed and depressed. I wish I could control those urges for food the drugs were giving me, I needed a solution! I couldn’t let myself grow fat again, I couldn’t miss out on my newly found popularity, no way I am letting that happen, so as soon as I finished eating, I go into the toilet and I make the food all go away, I induce vomit and won’t stop until my bowels are empty. It took over me, it controlled me, it made me sick, made me happy, made me ashamed, made me depressed because when I saw myself in the mirror, I looked like those aids patients I saw on TV, so skinny, but I can’t stop it, I’d rather be like this than be that fat, ugly girl Damien didn’t want, I am enjoying playing with Damien’s feelings, because he showers me with attention now, those are one of my happiest moments!

The turning point came in the most painful way you could ever imagine, I was back in school, sitting in class jejely o, listening to my Government teacher, when I felt this terrible pain in my chest, I felt like my heart was going to explode in my chest and everything went blank. I woke up in the hospital next to my weeping mother, “Doctor, Doctor” my mother screamed. I was told I had an heart attack and that I am lucky I am still alive, but she is just 16, my mother said, the doctor said, I think your daughter might be suffering from anorexia or bulimia nervosa! Yee! Mo gbe! What is that? Does it have a cure? Will my daughter die? My mother replied in a rush of questions.
THAT’S it! The enemy! I finally knew what her name is; Bulimia or Anorexia or whatever, “ope o, I survived, I thought; but wait a minute, what the hell is bulimia or anorexia nervosa?”

Come check it out tomorrow as I give you the 411 on this deadly disorder. Keep visiting Stephaniedaily.com

 xoxo 

SL

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