As simple as it sounds, saying “No” is not the easiest thing to do in the world. Some people would rather please the whole world than tell someone “no” even when there is a genuine reason for this. People who find it hard to be assertive end up becoming people pleasers and that is not a good place to be.
First of all, it is simply impossible to please everybody and trying to do that means you are living by other people’s expectations of you.
Also, when people figure that you have a problem saying “No”, it could be misconstrued and used to manipulate you into serving their needs.
So how do you say “no” without feeling guilty? Let me establish here that it is easier to say “no” when you have a clear sense of priorities. So for instance, if you have to attend Bible study on Wednesdays, you should be able to say “No” when yo friend asks you to follow him/her to the movies. It is all about figuring out which is more important.
Eve when the clear answer to a request is “No”, there is a way to go about it without being rude or insensitive.
This is a five-part formula for those say “no” moments:
1.) Start with a compliment if one fits the situation.
2.) Give your answer.
3.) Thank the person for understanding.
4.) Encourage the person.
5.) Change the subject or excuse yourself.
From step one to five, keep it easy going and wear your biggest smile. Let the other person know that you bear no hard feelings, but you really cannot be of help this time.
SL Fabz, what do you think? Do you often find it difficult to say “no”? Let’s share…